


Weakness and Strength

by UselessLesbean



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brief Scenes of Abuse, Canon Compliant, Catra (She-Ra) Redemption, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/F, Post-Season/Series 01, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2019-04-25
Packaged: 2019-09-13 03:41:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 51,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16884972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UselessLesbean/pseuds/UselessLesbean
Summary: Some time after the battle for Brightmoon, the war rages on. Exhausted by fighting against the girl she loves, Adora makes a crucial mistake - she tells Catra how she feels. As Catra presses the advantage and capitalizes on her vulnerability, Adora needs to figure out how Catra feels about her, and what, if anything, they can do about it. The rift between them may have started with feelings of betrayal, but their lives have changed, and there’s a lot more that stands between them now. Even if the two of them can reconcile, are they in too deep to recover?





	1. Tactical Errors

**Author's Note:**

> My plan is for this to be a decently long multi-chapter story. This will be a Catra redemption arc, but it isn't going to be quick and easy. After the events of season 1, Catra is pretty far gone, and it will take a lot to bring her back. This story will have a fair amount of angst throughout, but it won't be quite as much as there is in this first chapter. There will be more smut and fun romance stuff in later chapters.

This is definitely a trick, and Adora knows it. Catra is many things - impulsive, overconfident, angry. But she has never been stupid. She can’t beat She-Ra in a fair fight and they both know it. Catra can hit hard, but She-Ra hits harder. Catra might be faster, but she only needs to hit her once or twice to take her out. No matter how tough Catra might be, nobody can take hits like that and stay standing. She can’t win this. Adora doubts that there’s anyone who could.

Yet here they are, circling each other, standing on a cliff above Brightmoon while the battle rages on below. Another battle. The two of them have fought in this exact spot before - a large, circular ledge partway up the cliff, with the edge of the Whispering Woods about fifty feet away. Adora still has the scars along her back from that particular scrap. It’s all too familiar, but this time, the rebels seem to be winning. The Horde troops have been pushed back, and the other princesses are closing in on the massive siege engine trundling towards Brightmoon. It will be destroyed before it ever gets in range.

Catra pounces.

Even when outmatched, she is still a fearsome opponent. Lightning fast, shockingly vicious, utterly ruthless. Adora blocks the first two swipes with her bracers, but the third catches her along her side. She grunts as the pain flares, but forces herself to hold steady. When they first became enemies she was surprised by how aggressively Catra fought when she was actually giving it her all. Not anymore. They have been enemies long enough, she has learned how to fight back against this.

She holds her ground, refuses to give chase, forces Catra to come to her. The attacks come from every direction. She takes a lot of hits, but is able to evade well enough to keep them minimized to light cuts rather than deep gashes. They’ll heal. She waits for her opening. It comes when Catra gets impatient, takes a risk to try to inflict a more serious wound. Adora bats her arm away with the sword, then slams a fist into her stomach.

Catra immediately doubles over, the wind knocked out of her.

Adora grabs her by the scruff of her neck and slams her into the ground, then climbs on top of her, pinning down each of her arms.

Catra groans.

“Give it up Catra, you know you can’t beat me.” Adora pants, fighting to keep her voice steady through the stinging pain of her many small wounds. Catra bristles for a moment, then regains her composure and laughs. A self-satisfied smirk stretches across her face, even as her cheek is pressed against the ground.

“Oh Adora, are you ever  _ not _ going to fall for this?” She cackles. “You are so easy to distract, you know that?”

The two of them are facing the edge of the cliff, looking over the battle below, and Adora sees what she is talking about. The Horde machine lies in pieces, with Bow, Spinnerella, Netossa, and Perfuma standing triumphantly on top of it. The battle would seem to be over, but a huge squadron of Horde skimmers rockets out of the Whispering Woods, much bigger than the attack force that had already been defeated. They surround Bow and the princesses, who pull together and stand back to back, facing them.

“Do you princesses have any concept of strategy other than punching?” Catra mocks.

“Maybe not, but I don’t fall for your tricks that easily anymore.” Adora smiles, and Catra's smirk disappears, “They're predictable.”

“What?”

The sea in between Brightmoon and the battle begins to churn. Jets of water spray out towards the skimmers, freezing in midair to form spears of ice. They pierce through the hulls of the skimmers. Mermista leaps out of the water, Frosta clinging to her back. A flash of pink and Glimmer appears in the middle of the ring of Horde troops. Another flash, then another, and another, and all of a sudden Bow and Spinnerella are on a hill overlooking the soldiers, and Perfuma and Netossa are between them and the Whispering Woods.They have nowhere to go. Mermista and Frosta prevent them from moving towards Brightmoon, Perfuma and Netossa can restrain any soldier who dares try to flee towards the woods, and Spinnerella’s winds are pushing them back, forcing them to retreat until their backs are against the base of the cliff.

“But, but they shouldn’t be here! They’re supposed to be…” Catra sputters, arrogance suddenly fallen away.

“You know, I really didn’t think you would buy the false intel, but here we are.” Adora allows herself to gloat.

“No!” Catra screams, and manages to slip out from under Adora. She leaps to her feet and is on the offensive again, sprinting at Adora in a flurry of claws. This time her attacks are wild, desperate, uncontrolled. Sloppy. She doesn’t land a single hit on Adora, but the sheer savagery of the assault pushes her back.

_ It’s time to end this. _

Adora pushes forward and grabs Catra by the collar. She easily hefts her off the ground and spins around to build momentum before flinging her full force against the rocky cliff face beside them. She slams into it, and the sound of splintering stone echoes through the air as cracks spiderweb through the rock. Catra falls to the floor. Adora grimaces.

_ That was too much _ , she thinks, but then steels herself.  _ I can’t hold back. She isn’t going to, and I can’t either. _

Catra tries to push herself off the ground, but with quivering arms and a pained grimace, she fails. She-Ra's strength is superhuman, no ordinary person is built to withstand a hit that hard. She coughs blood and groans. Adora drops her fighting stance, but there is still iron in her gaze.

_ I'm not letting my guard down around you again, _ she thinks, and resists the urge to run to Catra’s side and help. She hates seeing her in pain like this.

“What,” Catra spits, “You're not gonna help me up? Maybe give me the same condescending speech you do every time?” She pushes off the ground again, and this time succeeds in getting to her feet, if only barely. She leans against the cracked cliff face for support.

“No. I don't know what to say to you anymore, you won't listen to me.”

“Finally given up on me then?” Catra laughs bitterly. The laugh rattles hoarsely. It sounds painful. 

“Never.” Adora's voice is level and sure. Catra sneers at her, oozing contempt from every pore.

“You should.”

“Never” Adora repeats, and Catra can't stand hearing that same damnable conviction that Adora had always had. She wants to run at her, to claw her eyes out, to make her realize how wrong she is, how  _ weak _ her affection makes her.

_ There's no way she can keep fighting like this _ , Adora assures herself.  _ Her breath is shaking, she must be in a lot of pain. Probably at least one broken rib. Sorry about that. _

There's a long moment of stillness, then Catra turns and starts to sprint away towards the woods. Or at least she tries to. She can barely walk, limping and stumbling.

_ Dammit Catra!  _ Adora chases behind her.  _ Don't do this! _ She won't get away, Adora knows it, and Catra must know it too. It only takes her a few moments to catch up. She grabs her friend by each arm and pushes her back against the cliff face. She holds her there, unable to run, unable to fight back. Catra hisses at her, trying and failing to flinch away from the vulnerability of her position.

“What do you want from me?” Catra demands, her voice a low growl, “I'm your enemy. Either let me go, or just kill me already.” Adora's eyes widen with surprise at those words, and try as she might, she can’t hide it from Catra. “What, are you surprised by that? That was always how this was going to have to end. Either you're going to kill me, or I'm going to kill you.” Adora’s heart stops. A hard lump forms in her throat, and her grip loosens. Her head lowers to stare at the ground. She can't look at Catra's eyes anymore. She forces herself to take a deep breath. The air is full of the scent of copper and fire and static from the battle below. When she finally responds, her words are halting and unsure. 

“How did this happen Catra? We… we never wanted to hurt each other before. How did things get this awful between us?”

“You left me!”

“And you left me too!” Adora yells. Her voice is quivering. “I didn't  _ want _ to leave you! I gave you every chance to come with me, and every time I asked you said no! We were supposed to look out for each other! I thought it didn't matter what side we were on, that you would be with me no matter what.”

Catra's eyes flared with renewed rage, “Of course it didn't matter what side we were on!” She was yelling now too, her voice wild and uncontrolled, “What mattered was that I wasn't even important enough to you to be a consideration! You made your choice, and I was expected to follow along like I was your pet!” Her muscles are taught, pushing against the iron strength in She Ra's grip, unable to take out her fury on her captor.

The two of them stare into each other's eyes. The iron resolve of Adora's gaze falters.

“You thought you weren't important to me?” Adora whispers, praying that Catra can't see how exposed she feels, voice heavy with a pain that she can't contain anymore, “You really believe that's how I thought of you? Like a pet?”

“What, are you going to whine about how I was your friend?” Catra sneers, but her voice is shaky. Adora can almost feel her pulling back, feel her trying to escape the vulnerability of her anger.

_ No, don't, don't pull away from me _ , Adora begs silently.

“My friend? Catra, I…” Her throat closes up. She can’t get the words out.  _ What would be the point _ , she asks herself,  _ she won’t listen to me _ . Her eyes close, and she takes a deep breath, her mind whirring. She knows Catra. Knows how she operates, how she thinks. Her disdain for words and endless talking. She doesn’t run on logic, or thinking things through. She runs on impulse, on instinct. She won’t be reached by talking this out. She doesn’t  _ want _ to be convinced. Adora swallows. It’s time for her to act on impulse as well.

Before she can stop herself, Adora leans in and closes the gap between them with a kiss.

Catra's eyes widen. 

Adora doesn't kiss her for long, but it's long enough. She feels like everything she wants to say, all of her sadness, her frustration, her love, is in that one kiss. Maybe this is a language Catra can understand. One she'll be willing to listen to. Even though it is only a few seconds long, the kiss seems to last forever. Finally, reluctantly, Adora pulls away.

“Do you get it now?” She breathes. 

For once, Catra doesn't have a sarcastic reply at the ready.

The silence is deafening.

It feels like the whole world has stopped.

The two of them stare into each other's eyes, Adora's soft and pleading, Catra's twisted with racing thoughts. Adora can't breathe. Her whole body is frozen. It's like she's been suspended in time, waiting desperately for a response that hasn't come. Catra breaks away from her gaze, from the intensity of her expectation. The moment lasts an eternity, and then keeps going just a little longer for good measure.

The tenseness of Catra's muscles softens, and she slowly leans her head forward to rest against Adora's chest. Adora's heart could almost burst from the force of its pounding. She knows Catra must be able to feel it, but she can't make it stop. She actually did it, her feelings are out there, and Catra knows, and now she’s pressed up against her. Every inch of skin that is touching her feels electric. Catra breathes out slowly and stands on the tips of her toes to bring her head into the crook of Adora's neck.

“Oh Adora,” she drawls in that playfully mocking tone that Adora has heard so many times before.

Her lips brush softly across Adora's neck, the movement deliberate and achingly slow. Adora shudders at the sensation and her grip on Catra’s wrists releases, turning into a gentle caress along her upper arms. With her hands suddenly free, Catra runs them along the larger girl's side, tracing along her hip before coming to rest on her thighs. Adora hardly dares to breathe. The touch is dizzying, and it's  _ Catra _ , and she's  _ right there _ . Catra pauses for a brief moment, before tilting her head up so her lips are right beside Adora's ear.

“I understand  _ perfectly _ .”

In one fluid motion she ducks downward and slices deep gashes into each of Adora’s legs with her claws before quickly stepping away. Adora screams in agony. She barely manages to prevent herself from falling. With gritted teeth, she tries to take a step forward, to move towards Catra, to stop her, but the pain makes her stumble. Her legs shake violently, and after one more desperate attempt at movement, they fail her. She collapses to her hands and knees. She can only watch as Catra slowly backs away. 

“I'll see you around, princess.” Catra's mocking tone and triumphant smile can't hide the bitter, painful venom that drips from her words. Then she turns, and limps away into the whispering woods, and she's gone.

Adora is accompanied only by silence and wrenching pain.

Blood drips down quivering legs and pools on the rocky ground.

The sounds of battle can still be heard from below, the princesses finishing off the last of the Horde troops. They’re so far away, it will be a while before they find her. She can’t get back down on her own.

Pain blurs her vision.

Adora's eyes burn, and she begins to sob. She doesn't even try to be strong, just lets herself cry, face made ugly and red by tears. They stream down her face and drip to the floor, mixing with droplets of blood that ooze from her numerous cuts. The brilliant glow fades away and she is Adora again, not She-Ra, not a princess or a warrior, just a girl, trembling, utterly alone with her grief.

 


	2. Thieves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the Horde's defeat during their last encounter, Adora and Glimmer seek to press their advantage by recovering a map to a First One's ruin that is said to contain a powerful magical artifact. Their plan to steal it from a museum in the neutral kingdom of Cloudgate goes awry when Catra shows up, feigning ignorance of their plan. Adora is nervous, still struggling with her wounds from last time, but Catra seems to be... having fun?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After how angsty that first chapter was, I think it's time for some flirty fun :)

Adora and Glimmer walk through the bustling streets of Cloudgate, feeling nervous, but trying to keep steady and not let their anxiety show. Everyone around them is sporting glamorous clothes and elegant finery. The two of them don’t look too bad either. Glimmer is fashionable as always, and Adora has shunned her typical Horde coat and pants for a fancy, knee-length dress with lots of ruffles. She hates how exposed it makes her feel, but reminds herself that it’s necessary.

 

* * *

 

Adora had been nervous when Angella asked to speak with her and Glimmer in private. She hadn't had many conversations with the queen, and still felt uncomfortable around her, like she was a superior officer who could punish her for not showing enough respect. But when the queen explained that she needed the two of them for a special mission, she was intrigued.

Apparently, the map was rumored to lead to the ruins of a First One's temple with a powerful magical artifact inside. The issue was, the writing on the map was in the First One's language, rendering it useless.

Useless to everyone but Adora.

 

* * *

 

Adora is more accustomed to using the cane now. It was so dreadfully awkward at first, but now she walks more confidently. _Only a few more weeks_ , she reminds herself. She tried to leave it behind as soon as she could, but her legs were still feeble, and it hurt too much to go without it. She sighs, and sticks close to Glimmer.

It isn’t long before they reach it. They round the corner, and take in the sight of the Cloudgate Museum of Magical History. Adora stops for a moment to admire it, despite her nerves. It really is impressive. A massive marble building, every inch of its exterior surrounded by beautiful statues and murals.

“Oh, wow…” Adora hums, taking it all in.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, it’s cool I guess.” Glimmer murmurs distractedly, but she smiles when she sees the wide-eyed wonder on Adora’s face. Sometimes she forgets that things like this aren’t old hat to people who weren’t raised as a princess. She nudges Adora good-naturedly, and gestures towards the front steps.

“C’mon, let’s go in.”

 

* * *

 

It was being kept in the kingdom of Cloudgate, Angella explained, in a huge museum of magical artifacts. The timing was perfect. The Horde would need time to regroup after their defeat at Brightmoon, meaning that the two of them could press their advantage while there was less need to worry about defense. In addition, they received intel that the map would be on display for the next week. Normally it was kept in the museum's archives, where it would be nigh-impossible to access. But right now, it was vulnerable.

 

* * *

 

The two of them step through the massive entryway and into the atrium. It's not particularly busy, just a few scattered attendees wandering about, while most people spent the middle of the day working.

“Hi!” A security guard greets them at the entrance, “If you’ll hold still just one second please.” They comply as the guard points some odd-looking device at them, sweeping it over them in a scanning motion. Glimmer swallows nervously, but keeps her composure.

 

* * *

 

It wouldn't be simple. Adora had never heard much about Cloudgate, but the more Angella explained, the more tricky it sounded. They were a neutral kingdom on the border of the Fright Zone. They allowed people from both sides to move in and out at their leisure, but they kept strict rules that prevented conflict within their territory. Plus, they tended to be more aligned with the Horde. These people weren't exactly nice, they were war profiteers, and the Horde certainly bought more weapons than the rebellion. If the two of them were caught, or caused a fight, the rebellion would lose this fragile alliance, which they definitely could not afford.

In addition to that, it was all made more complicated by their magic detection tech. Their scanners could detect whether a person has magical powers. They had a policy in place to search all magic users as they left, since they couldn’t exactly plan their normal security measures around unknown magical powers. Glimmer would be detected as being magical, although Adora wouldn't, as long as the sword wasn't with her. Glimmer couldn't be the one to carry the map out. Given that the surrounding streets would be crowded with people, she couldn't exactly teleport out either.

Adora and Glimmer looked at each other with determined smiles. They both enjoyed a good challenge.

 

* * *

 

This isn’t the kind of challenge either of them expected.

“Adora!” Glimmer whispers and clutches at Adora's arm. Adora looks over to where she's gesturing, and does a double take. On the other side of the room, standing around and checking out one of the displays, is Catra.

As casually as she can manage, Adora guides Glimmer along with her into a side hallway before Catra sees them. The two of them slip into a small nook in between rooms with nobody else around.

“What the hell is she doing here?” Glimmer exclaims, her calm demeanor immediately changing to panic as soon as they're out of sight.

“I don't know!” Adora replies heatedly, fighting to keep her voice quiet. They can't stay out of sight long, the guards will get suspicious if they go too long without knowing where Glimmer is.

“We need to keep calm.” Adora says, clearly struggling to follow her own advice. She smoothes out the wrinkles in her dress and takes a deep breath.

“Keep calm? We have to _do_ something!”

“No.” Adora insists, “We have to stay composed. We can't draw attention to ourselves, and we definitely can't get into a fight.”

Glimmer sighs, and when she looks back at Adora the panic on her face has been replaced by worry. “Adora, will _you_ be able to stay composed? I mean, seeing her here, especially after what happened last time…”

“I'll be fine.”

Glimmer looks unconvinced.

“Come on, we need to go back out there. They'll get suspicious if you're out of sight for too long.”

Glimmer nods, and the two of them walk back out into the main chamber, forcing a laugh, trying to look like they're having a casual conversation. They stroll over into the next room, dutifully looking at each of the displays like normal museum-goers. Catra must have moved on to another room while they were gone, and a few minutes go by before they end up near her again. She isn't in her usual Horde uniform - the wealthy patrons of Cloudgate would look down on such simple dress. Instead, she wears a crisp, loose-fitting jacket with a low collar, tall black boots, and a stylish maroon cloak alongside her usual red headpiece.

_She looks… dashing?_ The thought intrudes into Adora's brain and she frowns and pushes it down. She looks away, and pulls Glimmer over to look at a display on the other side of the room, pretending not to see her. Eventually, Catra catches them in the corner of her eye. A grin spreads across her face, and she saunters over.

“Well look who it is!” She exclaims happily.

“Catra.” Adora greets her as curtly as possible.

“Cute dress Adora. I didn’t think you were the type to go with ruffles, but it looks good on you.” Adora tries her hardest not to blush.

“Why are you here?” Glimmer asks.

“You know, I’ve seen you before princess, but I don’t think we’ve been introduced. That’s awfully rude of you Adora, she’s your friend, isn’t she?” She speaks in a playful drawl, and her demeanor is unsettlingly friendly. Glimmer steels her gaze and stands tall. When she replies, it is confident, almost haughty.

“I am Glimmer, princess of Brightmoon and commander of the rebellion. It is an honor to make your acquaintance, force commander Catra.”

Catra pauses.

“The honor is all mine.” She says, and kisses the back of Glimmer’s hand. Adora struggles to hold back her nerves. Catra is having fun with this, and that can’t be a good sign.

“You didn’t answer my question, commander.” Glimmer insists, her voice sweet, barely revealing the sharpness at its core. What brings you to Cloudgate?” Adora silently thanks Glimmer for taking initiative on this, so that she doesn’t have to talk too much. The corner of Catra’s polite smile twists, almost imperceptibly, into a smirk.

“Diplomacy.” She replies, “It’s not like I can go back out into battle yet, given that Adora here broke my rib during our last encounter. Hordak asked me to come out here and talk to Mathias, the king’s ambassador. He’s been showing me the sights - he had to go handle some business, but he’ll be back soon if you want me to introduce you.”

_She’s lying_ , Adora’s instincts immediately tell her. _There’s no way this could be a coincidence_.

“No, we wouldn’t want to interrupt, it sounds like you two have important things to discuss. You enjoy your evening, commander.” Glimmer stays polite and friendly, but walks away before Catra can respond, her arm threaded around Adora’s to make sure she stays with her. Catra’s implacable smile doesn’t fade, even as they brush past her.

“And you as well.” Catra says as they go by, “It was lovely to meet you, princess.”

As soon as they are out of sight, Adora lets out a sigh, feeling some of the knotted tension in her body release. She shoots Glimmer an appreciative look, and Glimmer nods. Her brow is furrowed, and she walks with a determined confidence. The two of them take their time walking through the rooms, maintaining the appearance of propriety. They don’t run in to Catra again, but they can’t help being on edge. Glimmer can feel the eyes of the guards on her whenever she passes by one of them.

It isn’t long before they find the map. It is hanging in a large display case set into the wall, along with a few other artifacts - an ancient suit of armor, with matching halberd, and a few more scrolls covered in First One’s writing. Time to put the plan into motion. Now that Glimmer has seen the target, she’ll be able to teleport accurately. Unfortunately, a security guard is watching the two of them, standing in the doorway. But they are prepared for this. Glimmer makes a show of reading the sign on the display case explaining its contents, then walks over to the guard.

“Excuse me,” she says, keeping up her sweet and charming demeanor, “could you point me towards the restrooms?”

“Of course ma’am. They’re right down this hall, the second door on the left.” The guard points, and Glimmer thanks him and walks off. The guard hangs back for a moment, before walking after her, trying to ensure that she’ll be out of sight for as little time as possible. Adora grins, despite her nerves. It’s working perfectly. She reaches into her pocket, and grabs the tiny device Bow built for her. Glimmer has one too. Pressing the button makes the other person’s device vibrate, providing a silent signal the two of them could use to coordinate their timing. After a minute or two, it buzzes softly.

_Okay, Glimmer is ready_. Adora waits until another museum-goer finishes checking out the display and leaves the room, then looks around to double check. No one else here. She presses the button. In a flash, Glimmer appears inside the display case, grabs the map, and disappears. It happened in the span of less than five seconds. Adora strolls casually out of the room. She sees Glimmer leave the restroom, the guard from before waiting at the end of the hall, trying not to be conspicuous about keeping an eye on her.

“Hey Adora,” Glimmer says to her, making sure the guard can hear, “I’m feeling a little hungry. Do you want to head out and get something from that cafe across the street?”

“Nah, I’m alright. You go ahead, I wanna look around a bit more before I go. I’ll meet you there.”

With that, the two of them part. Glimmer heads towards the exit, and the guard follows her. Adora heads in to the bathroom. It doesn’t take her long to find where Glimmer stashed the map, tucked out of sight in one of the stalls. She hitches up her dress, and tucks the rolled-up map in a strap tied around her thigh. After letting the dress fall back down, and smoothing it out a little, she takes a look in the mirror. The map is completely hidden, any outline it might make pressed up against her dress blends in with the ruffles on the outside. She stares into her eyes in the mirror and takes a deep breath to calm her nerves before stepping back out.

She’s almost at the exit when she hears that familiar voice call out.

“Adora! There you are!” She stops, and looks towards the source. Catra waves to her from an adjacent room. She’s standing next to a tall, foppish-looking man in a finely tailored suit. Adora swallows. She can’t let on that something might be amiss, she needs to act casual. Reluctantly, she walks towards the two of them.

“Is this a friend of yours Catra?” The man asks. His voice is warm and charming.

“Mathias, this is Adora.” Catra explains, looking just as pleased as can be at the situation.The man steps forward and shakes Adora’s hand.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Adora! My name is Mathias, I was just showing Catra around our lovely museum. It’s one of my favorite places in the city.” As he says his name, Adora’s mind whirs.

_That’s the guy she mentioned before_ , she realizes. _Wait, is she… has she been telling the truth?_

“Yeah, it’s beautiful. I’ve never been to Cloudgate before, so I wanted to make sure I got to see the museum. I love… history.” Adora bumbles, forcing herself to talk.

“Oh, you’re a visitor here in Cloudgate? Where are you from?” Mathias asks with genuine interest. He is definitely better at small talk than her, Adora notes.

“Brightmoon.” Adora answers, entirely too quickly. Dammit, she sounds nervous, she’s sure of it. Catra bristles a bit at her answer, but the annoyance is gone from her face in an instant, replaced by that same affable smile. Mathias’ eyes widen a little bit at the implication of her response. He looks at Catra, then back to Adora.

“Oh dear, I hope I haven’t made an awkward situation for you two.” He frets, but Catra waves him off.

“No, no, Adora and I go way back, we’re old friends, right Adora?” Catra can barely contain the amusement in her voice, revelling in the awkwardness of Adora’s position.

“Of course.” Adora forces a smile, and then keeps going, trying to regain a little control over the situation, “Well, let’s call it… friendly rivals, don’t you think?” Before Mathias can respond, another man carrying a stack of folders and papers walks up to him and catches his attention, whispering something in his ear. Mathias nods, an annoyed look on his face. He sighs.

“Well that sounds like quite a tale, and I’d love to hear all about it, but unfortunately it looks like there’s something I need to take care of. Sorry to keep ducking out on you like this Catra, but many of my responsibilities are things that simply can’t wait. This is going to take a long time, why don’t we meet again tomorrow? Adora, it was a pleasure meeting you.” Catra assures him that it’s no issue at all, and he walks off with the other man.

Adora and Catra are alone.

Adora swallows nervously, and turns back to look at Catra. What she sees makes her breath catch in her throat. Catra is staring directly at her, and her gaze is _predatory_. The casual friendliness from earlier is gone, and her smile is entirely more wicked. Panic bubbles in Adora’s chest. She can’t fight Catra, not here. If the two of them caused a scene, Cloudgate would almost certainly take Catra’s side, the rebellion would lose an important ally. She is cornered.

“Adora.” Catra purrs, dragging out each syllable. She walks towards Adora, who backs away until she feels the cold marble of the museum’s walls against her.

“Awww, am I making you nervous?” Catra teases.

“What do you want, Catra?” Adora asks, coldly. Catra keeps walking towards her until the two of them are uncomfortably close together. Adora’s heart is pounding. At this angle, no one would be able to see them from the adjacent rooms.

“I just wanted to see how my favorite princess was doing.” One of her claws drags a gentle path down Adora’s jawline. Adora fails to prevent her face from turning red. She pushes Catra’s hand away roughly.

“Stop it Catra.” She demands. Catra backs up for a moment and clutches her hand over her chest in an exaggeratedly offended pose.

“What, are you not into me anymore? I thought you were head over heels for me or whatever. Last time we talked you even kissed me.”

“Yeah, I did, and you made it clear how you felt about that.” She gestures at the cane in her hand.

“Oh please,” Catra rolls her eyes, “You had me cornered, and I couldn’t exactly let myself be captured by the enemy. I had to do something drastic if I wanted to escape. Besides, Cloudgate is neutral ground, slicing up your pretty little face would be bad for that whole diplomacy thing I’m here to do.”

“What do you want from me Catra?” Adora insists.

“Maybe I’m looking to give you what you want.” Catra hums, and presses up against Adora, nuzzling her cheek into the crook of her neck. Adora’s breath hitches. The sound makes Catra smirk, chuckling lightly against her skin. Adora should push her away, make her stop, but their closeness is intoxicating. She musters her courage, and tries to keep her voice even.

“Catra, this is a bad idea.” Catra pulls her head back to look Adora directly in the eye. Their faces are barely an inch apart.

“Probably.” Her voice is low and husky, and it makes Adora shiver, “If you want me to stop, just say the word, and I'll leave you alone.” The stare of her mismatched eyes is piercing. Warmth rises in Adora's chest. She _really_ should tell her to stop. This is such a bad idea. She wants to break away from Catra’s gaze, but its intensity holds her in place. The look in her eyes, it’s… hungry. She wants to let herself sink into it, to let it consume her.

She doesn’t tell her to stop.

Catra pounces. When she kisses Adora, it is fast and reckless and forceful, just like everything else Catra does. The moment their lips touch, electricity tingles along Adora's spine. She's tense for only a moment before sinking into the kiss, her arm that isn't holding onto the cane wrapping around Catra's waist, pulling their bodies closer.

“Mmm” Adora hums into Catra's lips as slender arms come to rest on her shoulders, and clawed hands pull the back of her head forward, entwined in her hair. She kisses back eagerly, with a quiet desperation that had been held in her chest for far too long. Gods, how she wanted this. By the time they pull apart, she is panting, eyes half closed. Catra gives her a condescending smirk and cups her jaw in one hand, thumb brushing along her cheek.

“See? I know exactly what you want.”

“Oh, just shut up and kiss me.” Adora demands breathily. Catra laughs and pulls her back in. She tugs on Adora's lower lip and gives it a soft bite, mindful of how sharp her fangs are. Adora gasps, and her arm tightens around Catra's waist. Catra pulls away from Adora for a brief moment, using the hand on Adora's jaw to tilt her chin up and press her lips into her neck. She kisses roughly along Adora's neck, nipping and biting as she goes. Adora bites her lower lip hard, gentle whimpers escaping as she tries to hold back a loud moan that would surely get them caught.

“F-fuck…” she gives a strained whisper, her eyes screwed shut. They fly back open suddenly when Catra's tail slips under her dress and winds loosely around her leg.

“Catra!” She exclaims, as quietly as she can manage, “What are you d-doing?” Her sentence ends with a moan, as she drops her cane to press her hand over her mouth and muffle her noises. The added weight on her legs makes her scars sting, but it isn't just the pain that makes them wobbly, it's the sensation of Catra's tail sliding up higher to curl around her inner thigh. Catra's ministrations stop for a moment as she whispers a reply into the crook of Adora's neck, her breath hot against her skin.

“Trying to draw out some more of those pretty noises you're making, princess.”

Then she bites into Adora's neck _hard_ , teeth sinking in far enough to break skin. Adora's hands scrabble up Catra's back and clutch tightly, and despite her desperate effort to stay quiet a tiny sob of pleasure leaves her lips. She shivers violently, her legs almost unable to hold her up.

And then it's over.

Catra's tail unwinds and her teeth leave Adora's neck. She guides Adora as she slides down the wall to a sitting position, legs burning and shaking. Catra brushes a hand along her cheek and stands back up, adjusting her collar. Adora’s chest heaves. Her face is flushed, eyes half-closed, stray hairs that escaped from her ponytail falling in front of her face. Catra gives a self-satisfied grin. What a lovely sight she is, lying there before her.

“As fun as this is, I think we both have places to be, don't we Adora?” She straightens out her cloak, and turns to leave, casting one last glance over her shoulder at the girl on the floor. “Besides, you wouldn't want anyone else to see you like this, would you?” She chuckles and casually strolls out of the room.

Adora lies there for a minute, catching her breath, still processing what just happened.

_What the hell was that?_

She grabs her cane and slowly, shakily, gets to her feet. With a deep exhale, she tries to calm her breathing.

_Compose yourself, Adora_.

Collect the loose hair, fix your ponytail. Breathe deeply and evenly, regulate your heartbeat, get the flush to leave your face. Clean up the pinpricks of blood from where she bit you. Smooth your dress back into place. On that last step she stops and her eyes shoot wide open. She doesn’t feel a shape under the dress.

_The map._

She frantically hitches up the dress and double checks. It’s gone.

_No, no, nonononono._

She quickly strides back out into the atrium, desperately trying to not let her panic show through. Scans her gaze quickly through the crowd. No sign of her. She swears internally, cursing her own foolishness. She needs to find Glimmer.

When she meets up with Glimmer outside, Glimmer can immediately tell that something isn’t right. Adora grabs her arm and guides them out of the busy crowd of the main street and into a back alley nearby.

“What’s going on Adora?” Glimmer asks, and then sees the hickeys and bite marks that Catra left behind, “What happened to your _neck_?”

“I-I-It’s gone! The map! S-She took it!” Adora stammers, the words tumbling out too fast and nervous to say them properly.

“What?! Adora, what did you do?! What are _we_ going to do?” Now Glimmer is panicking too, her voice rising.

“I don’t - I - I don’t know, I don’t know what to...”

Suddenly, that familiar drawl cuts through the air.

“Well aren’t you two just adorable, getting in such a fluster over little old me.” They both whirl around to see Catra leaning against the side of a building, right on the corner of the alleyway.

“Catra!” Glimmer calls out angrily, “What did you do? If you hurt her, I’ll…”

“Hurt her?” Catra laughs, “Oh I did anything but hurt her, sparkles. Ask Adora, she’ll tell you all about it.” Adora blushes profusely as Glimmer shoots her a questioning glance. Catra pushes off the wall and ambles closer to them.

“Where’s the map, Catra?” Adora demands, trying to keep her tone level.

“Somewhere.” Catra examines her claws with disinterest.

“How did you know we were going to be here? I know this isn't just coincidence.”

“You're not the only one who can feed false intel.” Catra brags, and Adora's eyes narrow. She should have seen this coming. “Although, I guess the intel wasn't false, just… strategically timed.”

“Why do you even want the map?” Glimmer asks, “Adora is the only person who can read it, it’s useless to you.” Catra is getting closer to them now.

“I’ll make you a deal.” Catra says, ignoring Glimmer’s question.

“A deal?!” Glimmer rages, and moves towards Catra, raising her fists in a fighting stance. Adora puts an arm across her chest and holds her back.

“Glimmer, stop, you know we can’t do that here!” She reminds her. Catra seems thoroughly unperturbed by the threat. She steps over to the wall of the building beside them and digs the claw of her pointer finger into the bricks, scratching in a couple of symbols in First One’s writing. She pulls back her cloak to reveal the rolled up map sitting in a pocket inside it, then pulls the cloak tightly around her torso.

“Tell me what those symbols say, and I’ll give you back the map.”

“Yeah right,” Glimmer says immediately, “How do we know that you’ll…”

“Deal.” Adora cuts her off, and Glimmer glares at her.

“Adora!”

“If you don’t hold up your end of the bargain, then as soon as you leave this alleyway, I’ll call the guards on you, and when they find a stolen First One’s artifact in your cloak, I doubt they’ll be too happy with you.” The threat makes Catra grin.

“See, now you’re talking. But don’t worry, I’m not one to break my promises.” Adora winces at the bitterness in those last few words.

There’s a long staredown between the two of them as Adora tries to read Catra’s gaze, but it is flat and inscrutable. She turns to look at the symbols, and reads them one by one. The individual words don’t seem particularly notable, but it’s clear that they’re some sort of key or legend for the map. When she finishes reading, Catra nods. She reaches into her cloak and retrieves the map, then walks up to Adora, getting far too close before pressing the map into her hand.

As soon as Adora has it, Glimmer breathes a sigh of relief. Catra smiles, then grabs Adora by the back of the head and pulls her into a short, rough kiss. Glimmer freezes and stares at the two of them, unsure how to respond. Catra pulls away quickly, and walks past a now red-faced Adora, tail brushing along her wrist.

“See you around, Adora.” She purrs. She stops next to the wide-eyed Glimmer.

“Sorry twinkles, you don’t get a kiss...” She runs a gentle line up Glimmer’s neck to the bottom of her chin with a single claw, where it catches for a brief moment before she sharply pulls it away. As she walks past, no longer looking at them, they can just barely hear her chuckle, “...this time.” She slinks out of the alleyway and disappears into the crowd.

Adora clutches the map loosely in her hand.

Adora and Glimmer are both blushing furiously, and they studiously avoid looking at each other. Adora blinks. Glimmer clears her throat awkwardly, and speaks without looking at Adora.

“So, um… what… what happened back there in the museum?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! This one ended up being longer than I thought it would. I was glad I got to incorporate Glimmer more in this chapter. I'm hoping to do some more stuff with her later on, but she probably won't show up again for a while, just due to the direction I want the plot to go.
> 
> Side note, that outfit I described for Catra is based off of this lovely piece of art by Blueskittles on tumblr: https://blueskittles-art.tumblr.com/post/180694109679/can-you-draw-catra-as-a-princess


	3. Three Days, Three Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora follows the map to a massive First One's ruin, but a scuffle with Catra results in both of them getting trapped. They need to make the long journey out of the ruin together, which is made more complicated by the return of the memory simulation technology they encountered before. With both of them forced to see things from the other's point of view, they can't avoid confronting their feelings anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update everyone, this chapter got a bit out of hand! It ended up being a lot more ambitious than I thought, but I'm really proud of how it turned out. It's finally time for some proper smut, so enjoy :P
> 
> Content Warning: Abuse

Adora takes a deep breath and steps through the doorway. She is a lot more nervous than she expected to be, but she figures that she shouldn’t be surprised. The last time she was in a First One’s ruin, it didn’t exactly go too well.

Following the map had turned out to be more difficult than she had thought. It was made a very long time ago, and many landmarks were different, or simply nonexistent. The search for the ruins had taken weeks. At least that meant that she could explore without having to rely on that stupid cane anymore. Her leg had taken frustratingly long to heal.

The entrance leads her into a huge atrium, lined with rows of ornately carved pillars. Her eyes wander warily around the room. Being alone wasn’t exactly ideal, but she couldn’t let Glimmer and Bow come with her, not after what happened the last time a First One’s ruin had detected ‘intruders’. It was too dangerous.

The far end of the room has three exits - hallways on the left and right sides, and a large doorway in the center. She steps through the doorway and onto a square platform, and the sight that greets her takes her breath away.

The platform is looking over a massive vertical chasm, thousands of feet deep, deeper than anything Adora has ever seen. The stone walls are crisscrossed by balconies and stairways and open rooms, hundreds of them, weaving their way up the endless expanse. The sheer size of it was mind-boggling. Adora peers over the edge to look down at the bottom. It is so far away that she can barely see it, but a faint blue light shines out from the center of the circular floor. The height makes Adora a little woozy, and she steps back from the edge to pay more attention to the platform she is standing on.

It is a simple, square platform, with a pillar in each corner to support a low roof. In the very center there is a small, plain pedestal with a button on it. She considers this for a moment, and then presses it.

“Administrator not detected.” A staticky voice warbles out of it, and Adora shrieks and jumps away from the sudden noise. She groans.

“For the honor of Grayskull.”

A flash of brilliant light, and then…

“Administrator detected. Welcome, She-Ra.” The entire complex shimmers and lights up, just like the other ruin did. The platform starts to move smoothly downward.

“That’s what I thought.” Adora grumbles. Her annoyance distracts her long enough that she fails to notice a quiet shuffling sound from above the roof of the elevator.

The descent takes ages, and despite the grandeur of the view, Adora keeps her arms crossed and anxiously taps her foot the whole time. When it finally reaches the floor, she immediately walks towards the center. The blue light from before is coming from something sitting on a chest-height crystal pedestal in the middle of the plain, circular floor. She moves towards it, but before she can get close enough to make out the source of the light, a familiar voice echoes from behind her.

“Ugh, you have no idea how long I was waiting for you to get here and turn this stupid thing on.”

Adora lets out an undignified shriek and spins around, holding the sword out in front of her. On pure instinct, a bolt of blue energy rockets out of the blade and towards the voice’s source.

“Whoa!” Catra leaps off of the roof of the elevator where she had been hiding right before the bolt hits it, exploding in a flash of light. Adora’s heart sinks in her chest when she realizes that the elevator is completely destroyed.

“What the hell Adora!” Catra exclaims. The effervescent glow of She-Ra fades away when Adora sees her friend, although she doesn’t transform back.

“You scared the shit out of me Catra!” She shouts, half angry and half panicked.

“How are we supposed to get back up?”

“I don’t know!”

“Well figure it out! You’re the one who broke it, dummy.”

“Oh, don’t you dare blame me for this, you surprised me, and I reacted.”

“And your first instinct was to shoot a big, magic laser beam at our only way out?”

“My first instinct was to defend myself! She-Ra can react quicker than me, she takes over when I need to protect myself.”

“Yeah, well maybe you should tell her to be a little more careful next time.”

“Again, how is this my…” Adora throws her hands up in the air in exasperation, “Gah! You are just impossible sometimes!” Catra ignores her and walks past, towards the pedestal in the middle of the room. As she gets closer, the glowing blue light coming from the pedestal reveals itself to be a small sphere, sitting in an ornate resting place in the shape of a hand.

“Cool…” she murmurs. Her focus is broken as She-Ra places herself in between Catra and the pedestal. Her glow is back, and her eyes are distant.

“You will not touch it.” She lowers her sword to point at Catra's chest. Normally, Catra would never be swayed by She-Ra's threats, but something in that voice chills her to the bone. It's as if She-Ra doesn't know who she is. It's cold, and the threat doesn't feel like intimidation, it feels like a promise. She takes a step back. She-Ra sees the nervousness written on her face, and the glow flickers, and then fades. Adora transforms back, and lowers the sword. She's trembling, and the fear in her eyes is plain to see. She hesitates for a moment, then turns away from Catra and starts rooting through her knapsack.

“Adora?” Catra approaches nervously. Adora doesn't look at her. Instead she fishes a heavy cloth out of her bag, wraps it carefully around the sphere, and then tucks it away.

“Best not to touch it. These things can be dangerous.”

“Adora, what just happened?” Catra puts a hand on her shoulder and Adora flinches and pulls away.

“Nothing.” Adora still won't look at her.

“Like hell it was nothing, now tell me, what happened?” Catra insists.

“Being She-Ra…” Adora sighs and looks straight ahead, putting her weight on her hands, which rest on the edge of the pedestal. “It's the weirdest experience. I'm not one person, and I'm not two people. She-Ra has a will of her own. Usually we mesh together, but sometimes… sometimes I feel like I don't have control.”

“I told you all this princess crap was a bad idea.”

“Don't lecture me Catra!” Adora snaps at her. “It was just… it was worse than I'm used to this time.”

“Do you think it was that sphere thingy? Maybe being near it makes it worse.” Adora shakes her head.

“No, it wasn't, it didn't feel like the sphere did anything. It's just been getting worse lately.”

“Bad news for me, huh?” Catra chuckles weakly, trying to lighten the mood. Adora looks at her and laughs. She doesn't tell Catra, won't tell Catra, how bad for her she feels it's going to be. Instead she pulls her knapsack back on, adjusts the straps, and gestures for Catra to follow her.

“Come on, we better get going. The elevator wasn't the only way in and out, we passed by lots of rooms and stairways on the way down. We should be able to get out of here, but it's going to be a long way.”

“And why should I go with you? I don't plan on leaving here without taking that relic for myself.” Catra’s eyes narrow. Adora rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, well it's gonna be a while before _either_ of us leave here with the relic. Fighting over it now will just leave us tired and injured for the trip up. If you wanna fight me, fight me once we find the exit. Now come on.” Catra hesitates for a moment, then follows along behind her.

 

**Day One**

* * *

 

For a while they're focused on figuring out where to go. The ruin is a labyrinth of rooms and stairs and twisting hallways. They bicker with each other about what the plan should be as they wander through the empty, cavernous halls, but eventually they agree that they just need to focus on going _up_. They ascend in a grumpy silence, both unwilling to apologize after their arguing. Eventually, it is Adora that breaks the silence.

“How did you even find this place? I translated the key to the map for you, but there was no way you could have memorized the actual map itself before you gave it back.” Catra gives a self-satisfied grin.

“I had a device that let me scan the map and keep a copied image of it. I got it from...” She almost says Entrapta's name, before realizing that she can't let Adora know that Entrapta is working with them, “Uh, I got it from the engineering department.”

“Oh, that makes sense. I was really confused when you did that.” Adora laughs. “I thought you might have done it just to show me up.”

“I mean, that sounds like something I’d do.” Catra admits. There is another long silence, but this time, it isn't an angry silence, but an awkward one. Adora scratches the back of her head, not entirely sure what to say. They're going to be stuck together for a while, and she isn't sure that she knows how to talk to Catra anymore.

She watches the scenery for a while. They pass through a huge, ornate chamber full of crystal pillars, and into a long hallway with intricate circuit patterns running along the walls. The patterns continue into the next room, a fairly small space with a low ceiling and a big circular table in the center. The far side of the table is cracked, a big chunk of it broken off and lying on the floor.

While there's no way to keep track of time, they've been traveling for a while, and they decide to stop and get some sleep. Adora drops her knapsack onto the ground and rubs her shoulder. She rummages through the bag and pulls out some food and water that she had brought with her. The two of them eat without talking. Adora is about to curl up and get some sleep when Catra speaks.

“You said that She-Ra gets out of control sometimes.”

“Yeah?” Adora looks at her quizzically.

“When you kissed me outside Brightmoon, you were She-Ra. Was that the only reason you did it?”

“I did it because I meant it. She-Ra had nothing to do with it.” Adora smiles, and then gives Catra a friendly nudge, “Why, you worried that I don't actually like you?”

“What? No! Get over yourself.” Catra shoves at her and frowns. Adora’s smile widens into a broad grin. Teasing Catra is way too easy, and way too fun.

“You kissed me after you gave me back the map in Cloudgate,” Adora shoves her back, “That wasn't part of tricking me, you already had what you wanted.” Catra bristles and gives her another push.

“So what?” She struggles as Adora lunges forward and puts her in a headlock.

“You kissed me because you like me, just admit it.” Adora pulls her in tighter, but Catra elbows her in the gut, forcing her to loosen her arms. They wrestle for a moment before Catra ends up on top of Adora, straddling her waist with her arms pinned down above her head by the wrists. They're both breathing heavy, and the sight of Catra looming above her, chest heaving, muscles straining, makes warmth rush through Adora's body.

“I _don't_ like you.” Catra insists. Adora just smirks, and raises an eyebrow. “I kissed you out there for the same reason I decided to get the map by stealing it off of you. You really think that seducing you was the easiest way for me to get it? I did it because it's funny to see how little control you have around me.”

Adora isn't smiling anymore.

“You get so flustered, and I barely have to do anything. Hell, even just now, I saw how flushed you got when I ended up on top of you. I don't like you, you're the one who likes _me_ , and it's hilarious how weak it makes you.” She leans in close, so their faces are barely inches apart. “And besides, kissing is fun, so as long as we're stuck dealing with each other, I'm going to try to actually enjoy it.”

She presses her lips to Adora's, the movement quick and self-assured. The kiss is all tongue and biting and force, with no preamble or warming up. She rolls her hips forward and presses closer against Adora, tugging on her bottom lip.

“Catra, you can't…” Adora begins, but her words devolve into a gasp as Catra's lips move to her neck. Panic begins to bubble in her chest. She struggles against Catra's grip on her wrists, but Catra pushes them back down, holding them down more firmly. Adora squirms as Catra's rough tongue slides across her pulse point. The panic is overwhelming now, and the tension of it blends with the electric feeling of Catra's body against hers, and as good as Catra's attentions feel, she doesn't want this, she doesn't want this at all.

“Catra, stop it!” She shouts.

The iron grip on her wrists releases immediately, and Catra climbs off, sitting back and pushing herself a few feet away to give Adora space. Adora tries to calm her breathing.

“Do you not want this?” Catra asks, with a gentleness that Adora doesn't often hear from her.

“No! Yes! I don't know! I do want you, but…” She trails off, getting to her feet and pacing, her agitation clear to see. Catra gets to her feet as well.

“Having trouble making up your mind?” She smirks, and Adora whirls around to face her.

“Shut up Catra!” The force of her anger pushes Catra back. “You don't… you don't get to just do that! The last two times we kissed it turned out to be a trick, and now you’re mocking me for having feelings for you. You said it yourself, you don’t even like me. You - you took advantage of me! You don't get to just kiss me after that!”

Catra tenses up and crosses her arms, her eyebrows furrowed. “What, are you asking for an apology? Because you're not getting one.”

“Then stop acting like your actions don't have consequences!” Adora shouts, red-faced and breathless, “If you don't want to apologize, then don't, but I'm not going to sit back and take it when you keep hurting me!”

“Oh _you're_ one to talk about hurting people.” Catra snarls.

“Yeah, I get it Catra, I hurt you! Well guess what, that doesn't mean you're allowed to hurt me as much as you want. That's not how this works!”

“You don't get to tell me what I can and can't do anymore.” Catra points a clawed finger at her accusingly. “You gave up that right when you left me behind.”

“This isn't about what I'm allowed to do! This is… gahhhh!” Adora exclaims exasperatedly, gesturing wildly with her hands. When she continues, her tone is softer, more measured. “You know how much I want to let you in Catra, but I can't be _stupid_. When you hurt someone, you don't just get to carry on like nothing happened, you need to do something to make it right.” Catra's eyes narrow.

“That's bold, coming from you.” She spits the words out like the taste of them is bitter in her mouth. “You keep insisting that we need to be friends again, well what have you _ever_ done to make things right?”

“I'm doing everything I can.” Adora tells her with sadness in her eyes. “I tried to offer you a way out. I’ve apologized endlessly. I really tried to make it up to you, but I couldn't stand back and let you hurt innocent people.” She sits down on the cold stone floor with a sigh, curling her knees to her chest and looking away from Catra. “I'm trying Catra, that's the difference. I might not be succeeding, but I'm trying as hard as I can, and you can't even bring yourself to apologize. I'm done letting you hurt me.”

This time, the silence is painful.

Catra won't look at her. She stares at the floor, and occasionally her eyes flick over to Adora before quickly darting away. Her ears are pinned back, and her tail is curled up behind her.

“Sorry.” She mutters, quiet enough that Adora barely hears it.

“What?”

“I'm not saying it again.” She grumbles, and walks over to the far corner of the room before dropping to a sitting position on the floor. “Now come on, we've been traveling for a while, we need to get some sleep.” She lies down and curls up, facing away from Adora.

“Yeah, okay.” Adora follows suit, using her knapsack as a pillow. The two of them spend the night like that, on opposite sides of the room, facing apart.

 

**Day Two**

* * *

 

Catra barely speaks to her when they head out in the morning. They trudge through the endless ruins in quiet contemplation. Catra studiously avoids her gaze. Adora doesn’t prod, she knows when to give Catra space. She knows that if she pushes it, Catra will get defensive again. Instead she tries to focus on navigating, paying attention to how many sets of stairs they climb and the directions that their route twists and turns through. It’s an impossible task. There’s just no way to maintain a sense of where they are or how much farther there is to go. She starts to wonder how long it’s going to take them to get out. The food and water they had last night were the only supplies she brought. If it takes them long enough, dehydration will become a real issue, especially given all those stairs they have to climb.

They walk like that for hours before anything changes. The twisting halls bring them to a wide-open room with a balcony overlooking the main shaft the elevator had been in. The moment she realizes where they are, Adora runs over to the balcony and leans against the railing to take a look. They are a little more than halfway to the top, Adora realizes, and breathes a sigh of relief. It’s going to be a tough journey, but they’ll make it. Catra joins her in leaning against the railing, appreciating the sight of the massive chasm. From this angle, the stone walls seem to glitter, the light catching against the reflective circuit patterns that crisscross through most of the rooms.

“It really is a sight to see, isn’t it?” Adora muses aloud. Catra glances at her, then looks back over the edge before giving a soft smile.

“Yeah, I guess it is.”

The two of them take a minute to appreciate the view.

“C’mon, it’s pretty, but that doesn’t mean I wanna die here, let’s keep going.” Catra eventually cuts in, and Adora nods and follows her.

“What, you never wanted a pretty tomb?” Adora jokes lightly, and Catra looks over her shoulder at her.

“Nah, that’s more of a princess thing, don’t you think?” She shoots back.

“Fair,” Adora laughs, “and anyway, you’re not gonna need a tomb anytime soon, you’ve still got eight more lives after this one, right?”

“Of course.” Catra confidently replies. Caught up in their banter, the two of them aren’t paying enough attention to notice what’s on the other side of the door until they’re already through it. Their laughing stops as they realize that they are surrounded by complete and total blackness. They spin around to look back the way they came, but the doorway is gone. Adora’s stomach sinks as she remembers the last time they were in a room like this.

“No, no, no!” Catra cries out, looking around frantically.

“Looks like we found another infinite darkness room.” Adora says dryly, even as anxiety rises through her body. The two of them turn around, and that’s when they see it. Floating in the air about thirty or forty feet away, is a pinprick of bright red light. They stare at it apprehensively. The last time they came across a room like this, before the battle for Brightmoon, it forced them to relive their childhood memories. _Painful_ memories.

“Nope, not doing this again.” Catra says, and paces around the empty space, trying to feel for an exit, or even just a wall.

“Yeah, I’m with you on that.” Adora joins her in searching through the darkness. They walk away from the light, trying to see if there is an end to the space, but if there is one, they don’t find it. After some time, Catra gives an exasperated grunt, throws her hands up in the air, and starts walking quickly back towards the red light.

“Fine!” Catra grumbles, “Let’s just get it over with already.” Adora follows behind her, but Catra’s fast pace leaves her trailing about twenty feet behind. When Catra makes it back to the light, she reaches her hand out, there’s a loud pulse and a bright flash, and then the light seems to scan her up and down. It’s just like the last time, but Adora notices that this time the light only scanned Catra, not her. _Maybe I’m just too far away_ , she reasons.

The scan finishes, and the darkness fades away, and suddenly they’re in the Fright Zone again. They’re in their squad’s locker room, and the memory version of Catra is arguing with Lonnie while a few other cadets stand around. _This must be recent_ , Adora thinks, seeing that the memory Catra doesn’t look much younger than the present one. She tries to place the scene in her mind, figure out exactly when this is, but it only makes her more confused.

“You think I’m scared of some Princess?” Memory Catra gets right up in Lonnie’s face. “I could take her out whenever I want. I know her secret.”

“This doesn’t make any sense!” The real Catra exclaims. “You... you weren’t here for this! How can we be seeing this?” Before Adora can answer, their minds slip fully into the simulation.

_“Hmph,” Catra smirks, “Like I’d tell you.” She needs to be strong. The other cadets aren’t on her side, they don’t like her, she needs to keep the upper hand or they’ll tear her apart. She turns to walk away, trying to leave on that dismissive note._

_“Easy, Catra.” Lonnie mocks her, “Adora’s not here to protect you anymore.” The words cut through Catra more than she would like to admit, and she slinks off before the others can see her weakness. She makes her way back to the bunks, knowing they’ll be abandoned at this time of day. The door whooshes open in front of her, and she crosses her arms as she looks around to make sure nobody else is there. The door closes behind her, and she flops down on the bottom bunk - Adora’s bunk._

_Adora._

_Emotion swirls in her gut when she thinks about Adora. The chalk drawing of their faces is still scribbled onto the metal beside her head, and her eyes linger on it. That’s a fun memory. Adora had been teasing Catra for sleeping in her bunk again, and drew her own face there, laughing that it was proof that the bunk was hers. Catra added her face next to Adora’s. ‘Well it’s mine too, dummy, see?’_

_She’s not here anymore._

_Anger and hurt and betrayal surge through Catra, and she lashes out, slashing a claw across the chalk drawing of Adora. The moment she does it, she gasps softly. She… she really liked that little drawing. A flash of regret, and she looks down at her pillow, crouched on her knees._

_She’s not here anymore._

_She left me._

_She left me!_

_Tears well up in Catra’s eyes, and she can’t contain everything she’s feeling, so she lets it out the only way she can. Her claws rip through the mattress, sending shredded cloth flying all around her. She tears at it with all her strength and the tears are hot and shameful on her cheek and she’s can’t even tell if this is anger or sadness or both, but she doesn’t want to feel it anymore. She punches the torn bed below her, feeling the cushioned impact ripple through her fists and up her arms and her shoulders, and it feels like all of the bubbling feelings inside of her won’t ever go away._

_When she stops her breath is heavy from exertion. She wipes the tears from her eyes, and takes a scrap of cloth in her hand for just a moment before tossing it over her shoulder._

And then it’s over. The sound of Shadow Weaver’s voice doesn’t interrupt her like it did when this really happened. Adora is sitting right beside her, eyes wide and wet with tears. Catra’s tears. Or maybe her own. She isn’t sure. Catra pushes her away with an angry grunt, scrambling to her feet and backing away from the ruined bunk.

“What the hell Adora?” Catra shouts at her, voice cracking, arms crossed over her chest, trying to shrink away from the other girl as if that will somehow make her feel less exposed. “How were we seeing that? Were you there when that happened, were you spying on me or something? You shouldn’t have been able to see that!”

“No, no, I wasn’t, I swear!” Adora desperately tries to reassure her. “This wasn’t like the last time, I wasn’t seeing it through my eyes, I was seeing it through _yours_.”

“What?"

“It was like I was you all of a sudden, like I was seeing everything you were seeing and feeling everything you were feeling.” This makes Catra bury her face in her hands and emit a noise of frustration.

“The moment I think I’m ready to handle this place it goes and makes things worse.” Catra groans. “Why is it different this time?”

“I think it has to do with the way that light scanned us. That’s gotta be how it figures out what our memories are, right? Last time, we were both really close to it, and it scanned both of us, but this time, I was farther away, and it only scanned you. Maybe it can only pull from _your_ memories this time.”

“Well that’s just great.” Catra grumbles, and slinks out the door. Adora frowns and follows after her.

“Where are you even going? It's not like we're gonna find the exit to the ruin here in the fake Fright Zone.”

Catra doesn't answer, but when they round a corner the simulation flickers, and then disappears, and they're back in the ruin again, on a staircase overlooking the main shaft where the elevator used to be. Catra doesn't stop walking.

The two of them keep traveling, wary and on edge, waiting for the next memory to kick in at any moment, but it never comes. Adora wonders what might be different this time, since last time they were getting bombarded with new memories every few minutes, but there's no way to be sure. This uneasiness permeates through her bones, and leaves her feeling tense and miserable. It doesn't help that a day full of hiking has left her exhausted and hungry and dehydrated. She's almost about to call it for the night when the next memory shows up.

The two of them are walking down a hallway, and when they turn the corner, the walls are no longer the smooth stone of the ruin, but the green metal of the Fright Zone. They stop abruptly. The door to the black garnet chamber is right in front of them. Adora shrieks as Shadow Weaver enters her vision suddenly and  passes by, pulling a younger Catra along with her by the ear, berating her about something or other. She pulls the teenaged Catra into the chamber.

Present Catra and Adora linger outside the door. Adora glances over at Catra. Her demeanor is nothing like before. She doesn't look angry, she looks _miserable_. Her eyes are fixed on the floor, and her arms are crossed.

“I don't want you to see this.” She mumbles.

“I'm sorry Catra, I can't…” Adora tries to apologize, “I don't know how to...”

_Catra covers her face with her arms to shield it from the impact as Shadow Weaver throws her to the ground. She scrambles to her feet and tries to run out the door. The fear is overpowering, whiting out her logic, her pride, even her stubbornness._

_She barely makes it three steps towards the door when Shadow Weaver stops her._

_The sensation of her magic is unlike anything else Catra has ever felt. It courses painfully through her skin like electricity, and surrounds her with a cold bitter enough to burn. She wants to scream, to clench her eyes shut, to do anything at all to react to the pain, but every muscle in her body is locked._

_“Don't you dare run from me, child.” Shadow Weaver booms. “Do you not even have the spine to face the consequences of your own actions?” She circles around to Catra’s front, and grips her jaw painfully tight._

_“Where would you even run to?” She seethes in Catra's ear. “Who else would take you in? Who else could ever have the patience for you?” Tears drip from unmoving eyes down cheeks burning with shame. “We keep you around because it's useful. Adora seems to perform better when she has a pet to fawn over. But what else are you good for, hmm? Why would anyone else want you around?” She seems to wait for answer, even though Catra isn't able to speak. “That's right, they wouldn't. Nobody wants you. Not even your precious Adora.”_

_With that, Shadow Weaver stalks away to the other side of the room._

_“I'll give you some time to think over your mistakes.” She says icily, and begins to busy herself with paperwork. The coursing magic still burns through Catra's skin, but Shadow Weaver isn't paying any attention to her anymore. Minutes go by, and Catra quickly loses track of time, the pain stretching each second into an eternity._

_Despite everything that's happening to her, Catra decides that the worst part is that she can't even scream._

This time, when the memory ends, the simulation immediately drops away, leaving them in a short hallway, Adora sitting against the wall opposite Catra. Her hand is clamped over her mouth, and her eyes are wide.

The moment the memory releases Catra she slumps to the floor and pushes back against the wall, shuddering and hyperventilating. Adora rushes to her side, crouching in front of her and putting and hand on her shoulder to try to comfort her. Catra pulls away from the touch like it burns and shoves Adora's hand away.

“Don't touch me!” She gives a panicked, strangled cry and curls her knees to her chest, trembling violently. Adora pulls away, fretting and holding back tears. She has never seen Catra like this before. She steadies her breath. Now is not the time to fall apart, Catra needs her.

“I won't touch you, and I'll leave you alone if you need space, but I'm right here, okay? If you need me, I'm here.” She reassures Catra, as gently and quietly as she can. Catra doesn't say anything, but nods her head slightly, pressed against her knees. The two of them stay like that for a while, Catra shivering and rocking back and forth, and Adora sitting slightly away from her, ready to act if she's needed.

Eventually Catra’s shaking slows, and she seems to calm down a bit. Her breaths are ragged, but they are long, deliberate, and measured. She lifts her head slightly and glances over at Adora, who just shakes her head and speaks a desperate apology.

“Catra, I… I knew she was hard on you, but I didn’t know that… that she…”

“You have no idea.” Catra’s voice is weak and bitter.

“I’m so sorry.” Adora can’t fully hold back her tears, the edge of a sob creeping into her words.

“I don’t want your pity.”

“No, Catra, this isn’t about pity. I’m just… I’m so sorry. For everything. I’m sorry that I saw that even when you didn’t want me to. I’m sorry that I left you there with her. I’m sorry that I was so blind, that I didn’t see how bad it was. I promised that I would look out for you, and I didn’t, and I’m just, I’m so sorry Catra. Everything I’ve done has only ever ended up hurting you, and I never wanted that to happen.”

“I know.” Catra murmurs, with a softness that Adora rarely hears from her. “Of course you never meant to hurt me, Adora, you're… you're _you_ . I don't think you've ever _wanted_ to hurt anybody.”

Adora immediately understands the implication of Catra’s words, and it feels like something piercing her chest.

Catra sighs. “Let’s just get some sleep, I don’t want to think about this anymore.” Adora nods, and the two of them curl up on opposite sides of the hallway.

Of course she can’t sleep. She tries to quiet her mind, but her thoughts are racing, and she can’t help looking over at Catra every few minutes. Catra’s eyes aren’t even closed. She’s stock still, and her gaze is distant and unfocused, mind clearly lost in thought. Adora sighs. Catra always gets like this when she’s worried, or upset. She won’t be able to sleep. Those were the nights when she would come down to Adora’s bunk and curl up at her feet. Adora doubts that she would do that now. She has too much pride to admit to her enemy that she doesn’t want to sleep alone. After half an hour of this, Adora decides to swallow her own pride.

“Catra.” Adora whispers.

“Hmm?” This seems to shake Catra out of her thoughts, and she looks over at Adora.

“Could you… could you sleep over here with me tonight?” Adora asks hesitantly. “This place is getting to me a little bit, I don’t… I don’t want to be alone right now.”

Catra considers this for a moment.

“Yeah, alright.” She says casually, but the relief on her face is palpable. She slides in next to Adora, who pulls her close, Catra’s back against her chest, wrapping her arm around Catra’s waist. The warmth of having her friend curled up in her arms is relaxing, and Adora feels herself dozing off. Catra falls asleep first, and the gentle rumble of her purrs lulls Adora’s eyes shut.

 

**Day Three**

* * *

 

They're getting close to the exit, Adora can tell. It has been a while since they got another view of the main chasm to check their progress, but they've been walking long enough since then that there can't be much distance left.

She glances over at Catra. The other girl had disentangled herself from Adora basically the moment they woke up in the morning, immediately putting back on a flippant facade, but that was pretty much what Adora expected. Being close to her again was really nice, even if it was just one night. Plus, the ruins haven't interrupted them with another memory, although Adora is nervous that another one is going to show up soon.

She smiles softly. Even if her friend doesn't feel the same way about her, she's glad that they can be close, at least when life doesn't get in the way.

Her thought process is interrupted when Catra stops short. Adora looks around. She had been so caught up in her thoughts that she hadn't even noticed their surroundings change. They are in the Fright Zone again. Catra immediately becomes tense, eyes darting about, looking for a marker to help them figure out what memory this is.

A much younger Catra and Adora rush around the corner and run past them. Adora guesses that they can't be older than fourteen or fifteen.

“Here!” Young Catra giggles, before pulling Adora into a supply closet next to them and closing the door.

Two older cadets round the corner at top speed, sprinting past present-day Catra and Adora, not stopping to check the closet. One of them is buttoning her shirt back up as she runs. Adora's heart catches in her throat. She knows exactly what this memory is. The only question is who's eyes she'll be seeing it through, since she was part of this memory as well. Catra looks supremely uncomfortable.

“Let's, uh… let's just get this over with.” She stammers, and the two of them walk into the closet.

_Catra releases the breath she had been holding once she hears the older cadets’ footsteps get quieter in the distance. They were safe. And boy, those two had been mad. She wasn't totally sure why._

_Adora and her had stumbled across the two of them in a rarely used side room. They were closer together than Catra had ever seen two people be, arms entwined around each other. They were pressing their lips together. One of them took off her shirt, and put her hand in the other girl's pants. They were gasping, and making little soft noises of pleasure. When Adora had stumbled and made a noise, the two of them shot apart and stared at her and Adora. She decided that they should run away. The two older cadets had looked really mad._

_“I think we lost ‘em.” Adora says triumphantly._

_“No thanks to you. How can you be so slow?” Catra teases. Adora just sticks her tongue out at her, and Catra punches her shoulder. There is a brief, tense silence as both of them wait for the other to ask the question. Adora breaks first._

_“So, what do you think that was that they were doing?”_

_“I dunno, it looked weird.” Catra forces herself to sound nonchalant._

_“I thought it looked kind of fun…” Adora says shyly, looking away from Catra._

_“Yeah? You gonna try it?” Catra mocks. “Oooooh, let's get Lonnie up in here, you two can have so much fun together.” Adora's face goes beet red._

_“I don't wanna try it. Not with Lonnie anyway.” Adora grumbles. Catra's heart leaps into her throat when she realizes the implication of those words. She should end this line of conversation. She should definitely change the subject. Those aren't the words that end up coming out of her mouth._

_“Well then who do you want to try it with?” She says with a smug smile._

_Well that definitely isn't what she meant to say._

_Adora turns and looks right at her and she's so pretty Catra thinks she could die on the spot._

_“With you, dummy.”_

_Catra's lips are dry and her heart is pounding. She wants to say yes to Adora. She wants to say yes more than she's ever wanted anything else in her life. The intensity of her feelings scares her. The heat in her chest, the fluttering of her heart, it's all too much. This is too much. She shouldn't say yes. Her mind whirls. Adora is just experimenting and she doesn't feel the same way about you and if she finds out how much you want this she'll be weirded out, and besides, if Shadow Weaver finds out you'll get in trouble because you get in trouble for everything and…_

_“Well I think it's stupid.” Catra mumbles and looks away from Adora, crossing her arms over her chest. She doesn't notice the crestfallen look on Adora's face._

_Really, she doesn't._

The two of them are adults again and Adora stares intently at Catra in the dark closet. Catra averts her eyes, embarrassed.

“You _did_ want me.” Adora whispers. “I felt it, just now. I always thought…” She trails off. The two of them are so painfully close to each other. When Catra turns and meets her gaze, Adora is taken aback by the fire in her eyes. In real life, they had left that closet and awkwardly trooped off to do other things. A week or two later their age group was put into a sexual education class, and once they knew what they had been considering, the two never spoke about it again. But this time…

Catra moves even closer, until they are almost pressed up against each other. She starts to lean in, but pulls back hesitantly.

“Can I…” She asks, and Adora nods enthusiastically.

She closes the distance between the two of them.

Adora lets go, allows herself to melt into Catra's heated touch. The force of Catra pressing into her makes her take a step back, and Catra follows, pushing forward. For a brief moment Adora thinks she's about to trip over the scattered boxes and supplies that fill the closet, but her footsteps pass right through them, making them flicker and disappear. Catra keeps pushing her, and they pass through one of the shelves, which vanishes as Adora's back slams against the wall. The holographic details of the simulation are all gone now, leaving them in an empty supply closet, less cramped than before but still quite small.

Adora kisses back fervently, one hand resting on Catra's back, the other threading into her tangled hair, both instinctually pulling her closer. Catra's hands restlessly wander over Adora's body, unable to decide where to stop. They roam along her back, and then her hips, and then her bottom, and all Adora wants is for them to never stop touching her.

 _This is a terrible idea_ , her brain reminds her.

_I don't care._

Catra's claws trace lightly up her thigh, but she retracts them right before she runs her hand firmly between Adora's legs, dragging up the length of her pussy, over her clothes.

“Mmm” Adora whines, holding back a loud moan as she breaks away from Catra's lips and slams her eyes shut. Catra's other hand cradles her cheek and tilts her face back up to meet her gaze.

“Don't hold it in.” She instructs, and slips her fingers into Adora's pants. “I want to hear you.” Adora's face flushes. She can be very loud at times, and it always makes her self conscious. A soft whimper escapes her lips as Catra parts her and traces a finger from her base up to her clit. She screws her eyes shut again as Catra circles her clit. The grip on her chin gets more insistent.

“No. Look at me.” Catra orders, and Adora's eyes weakly flutter open. She is staring directly into Catra's eyes, and the intensity of her gaze makes the feeling of her fingers even more electric as they explore further. Keening moans accompany her heavy panting as she fights to stop herself from breaking away from Catra's stare. She wants so badly to obey.

Catra slides two fingers inside her, and it's _embarrassing_ how easy it is, how wet she is for her. She wants to look away, but the grip on her chin is insistent. Those fiery blue and gold eyes hold her in place, their gaze searching, yet deep with desire.

“Catra…” Adora whimpers, and bites her lip on reflex to hold back her noises.

“Say my name again.” Her voice is a low growl of desire.

“Catra…” She gasps, as Catra's fingers curl just so.

“Tell me how much you need it.” Catra almost moans. “I want to know _exactly_ how badly you wanted me.”

“I’ve wanted-” Adora begins, but is interrupted by her own whimper, “I've wanted you for so long. I wanted you before I even knew what that feeling meant.” The rhythm of Catra's fingers intensifies and Adora sobs with pleasure, and she can barely keep talking, but Catra's burning stare compels her to.

“When you teased me in Cloudgate…” She pants for a minute, unable to talk through the flurry of sensation. “For weeks after, the only thing I could think about was… was the feeling of your tail wrapped around my thigh.” As if on cue, Catra's tail slithers around her waist. The look in her eyes is hungry and desperate, and Adora wants nothing more than to let this feeling devour her.

“You… you…” Adora tries to continue, but she can't anymore. She's so close. Her eyes slam shut, and she's gasping and moaning and rocking her hips against Catra's hand as her fingers pump in and out and her thumb toys with her clit. Catra leans in until her lips are pressed against Adora's ear.

“Come for me, princess.” She whispers, and no matter how many times Adora has heard Catra call her princess, it has never felt anything like _that_ before. With an unrestrained cry of pleasure, she tips over the edge, bucking her hips and trembling.

When her body finally stops tensing, she slumps forward, arms on Catra's shoulders, head pressed against her chest, breathing deep, shuddering breaths. They stay like that for a moment, wordless in each other's arms.

“ _That's_ how badly I wanted you.” Adora murmurs weakly, and Catra genuinely laughs for the first time Adora has heard in so long.

“Good to know.” She presses a kiss to Adora's forehead.

“Your turn?” Adora asks, pulling back to see Catra's face, but Catra shakes her head.

“Another time.”

“Only if you promise there will be another time.”

“You know I can't promise that.” Catra reminds her, and Adora nods sadly. Adora sits down with her back against the wall, hoping to relieve the shaking in her legs. Catra sighs and drops down next to her. Adora is incredibly overheated, and she takes off her jacket, sword still strapped to it, and tosses it to the side. She leans on Catra's shoulder, and Catra rests her head on Adora's.

The two of them sit together quietly for a long time. Adora's eyes are closed, exhausted from the intense sensations. Catra puts her arm around her shoulder and pulls her in tight, prompting Adora to snuggle closer.

The simulation finally flickers and disappears. When it does, Adora opens her eyes again to get her bearings. They are no longer in a tiny closet, but rather a vast atrium. Both of them realize at the same time that the exit to the ruin is sitting thirty feet in front of them.

Time slows to an icy crawl.

Two pairs of eyes both widen in surprise.

The two of them turn to face each other. Adora isn't holding the sword, it's on the ground a few feet away, just out of reach. Their eyes meet, and Adora can see just how stricken Catra looks as the realization of what is about to happen reaches her brain.

“Catra, don't.” Adora pleads, but it's too late.

Catra's hand flies down to the stun gun tied to her belt. Adora scrambles for the sword, but the arm resting on her shoulder tightens and pulls her back in. Adora is stronger than Catra, and she manages to wrench away, but it delays her just long enough.

A sudden jolt of electricity surges through her body, and her vision begins to fade. The last thing she hears before she blacks out is Catra's voice, on the verge of tears.

“I'm sorry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna give a huge thanks to everyone who has been reading and commenting and leaving kudos so far. This is the first thing I've written that has really been shared with other people, and it has been so so encouraging to see all of your lovely comments. It turns out that writing is way more fun when people actually read what you wrote, who knew?


	4. Turning the Tables

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra has captured Adora, and plans to turn her over to Hordak. The two of them confront the reality of their situation, and Adora makes a bold gesture.

Adora wakes up to a splitting headache and a creaking soreness throughout her whole body. Her eyes flicker open and a pained groan escapes her dry, cracked lips. The world slowly comes into focus as she blinks the blurriness out of her vision.

She's not in the ruins anymore. The dark green of the whispering woods surrounds her. Cool metal is pressed against her skin, and her brain processes that she's lying prone on a Horde skiff. Catra is moving about a few feet in front of her, back turned. Adora tries to get to her feet, but her ankles are bound together by coarse rope, along with her wrists. The sudden realization that she's been tied up makes her squirm and pull against her restraints, but it's futile. She manages to pull herself up to a sitting position, but she can’t stand up.

Catra turns around and crouches down to meet her at eye level, holding out a bottle of water. Adora glares at her and purses her lips. Catra just rolls her eyes.

“You haven't had any water in two days, if you wanna be grumpy with me, then fine, it's your funeral.”

Adora reluctantly accepts the offer. Catra tilts the bottle to her lips so she can reach it, and as soon as the cool liquid reaches her mouth, she drinks it down greedily. She drinks the whole bottle this way, desperately slaking the dry thirst in her throat. As soon as she finishes Catra immediately stands up and turns around, putting the water bottle away and busying herself with prepping the skiff.

“What now?” Adora asks.

“Now I take you to Hordak as my prisoner.” Catra studiously avoids looking at her.

“Why? So Shadow Weaver can erase my memory and make me be on your side again? I thought you said you didn't want me to come back.”

“No. Shadow Weaver doesn't even have her powers anymore.” Her dispassionate tone is level, carefully maintained.

“What?”

“Long story. I'm second in command to Hordak now, Shadow Weaver is in prison.”

“Well it looks like you got everything you wanted.” Adora says, her rising anger bringing an edge of sarcasm into her words. “Shadow Weaver is gone, and you've beaten me. Are you happy now?”

Catra just shrugs.

“Dammit Catra, at least look me in the eye!” Adora shouts, voice hoarse and cracked. Catra stills. Her hands clench and unclench. She turns and looks over her shoulder, agonizingly slow, meeting Adora's gaze out of the corner of her eye. She looks tired.

“Really?” Adora demands, “Is this really it? After everything that happened in there? You're just going to turn me over to them?”

“You're an enemy of the Horde.” Catra almost whispers. “I'm doing my job.”

“Oh, so that was just doing your job?” Adora rants, “Fucking me was just doing your job? That’s all that was? Getting me to let my guard down? Taking advantage of me again?” Adora chokes back tears. She will not cry. Not now. Not in front of  _ her _ .

“What?” Catra's flat, disinterested facade falls away, and her voice is full of genuine surprise.

“Was all that just part of your plan? Get me to believe that you actually gave a shit about me so you could trick me yet again?”

“No! That's not what-” Catra stumbles over the words, and Adora cuts her off.

“Oh don't tell me that! Don't you dare  _ lie _ to me again!”

“I'm not lying to you!” Catra is agitated now too, and she walks over to where Adora is tied up, crouching down in front of her. Adora still has to look up at Catra, a full foot or two above her.

“Why should I believe you? Why should I believe anything you say to me?” Adora spits, and some part of her knows that Catra is telling the truth, but she doesn't care, she's just too angry and too hurt and too…

Catra cradles Adora's face with both hands and kisses her.

When they kissed before it was forceful, burning with desire. This was nothing like that. She kisses Adora softly, her movements slow and gentle. Adora relaxes into the kiss almost immediately, her anger dissipated. Those hands never move from her face, claws retracted, grip loose, thumbs brushing across her cheek.

Adora's doubts vanish.

Catra pulls away slowly, opening her eyes and revealing the regret that shines in them. She stands back up and looks down at the girl beneath her.

Adora can't hold it back anymore. Tears stream down her face. She is a mess, bruised and tired and filthy, but more than that, she feels messy on the inside, like something inside of her has cracked and every part of her is pouring out, running down her face, exposed for the whole world to see. But Catra is the only person around to see it.

Catra sighs heavily and looks away.

“I wasn't trying to trick you Adora. I just...” Catra murmurs. “This was always going to be a bad idea.” There is a long silence, broken only by soft sobs, before Adora manages to respond.

“Why? If that's how you feel then why are you still doing this to me?” Her voice is broken and halting.

“Because it doesn't change anything!” Catra exclaims. “It doesn't matter how we feel, we're still enemies. Our feelings aren't going to fix this, all they're going to do is make it hurt more when we do what we have to do. What we were  _ always _ going to have to do.”

“Why is that what we have to do? Why can't we choose something different? Why can't we be together?” Adora practically begs.

“Because I have a life in the Horde, and you're not in it! I'm Hordak's right hand. I have my own friends. I'm good at what I do, and for the first time in my life, people actually respect me. I'm not about to give all that up and live in your shadow again!”

Adora sighs and stares at the ground. She can't wipe her eyes, but she steadies her breathing, tries to calm down and keep the tears from flowing. It feels like her mind is moving faster than she can keep up with. She considers her options, considers what will happen if they take her prisoner. Her mind settles on an idea, mulls it over, makes a decision.

She has a plan.

Catra powers up the skiff, which gently floats up and off the ground. When Adora speaks again, she doesn't look at Catra.

“They're going to kill me, aren't they?”

“Probably, yeah.” Catra replies hesitantly. “They can't exactly get Shadow Weaver to mind-wipe you this time.”

“Then can I ask you for something?”

Catra shoots her an inquisitive glance, one eyebrow raised.

“A, uhh, a last request of sorts.” Adora clarifies, her hands fidgeting in their restraints. Catra doesn't say anything, but Adora can feel her eyes on her. “Could you kiss me like that again? I want… I want to know what it could have been like. If things had been different.” Her face is red, and she bites her lip nervously.

Catra wordlessly steps closer and lowers herself down beside her. She brushes a loose strand of hair out of Adora's face, pauses for just a moment, then fulfills her request. The kiss is short, but when she stops she is smiling against Adora's lips, their foreheads pressed together.

“You are  _ such _ a sap.” She teases.

“Shut up.” Adora brings their lips together again. Catra giggles against her mouth before returning the kiss. One hand reaches around and threads itself into Adora's hair, holding her close.

It starts off gentle, but quickly grows lingering, sensual. Adora's tongue swipes across Catra's lip, and Catra obliges, letting it in with a soft, pleasurable noise from the back of her throat. She pulls back for a brief moment to adjust her positioning, lifting her leg up and over to straddle Adora's lap before diving back in with renewed intensity.

Eventually Catra breaks away and starts to move downward, trailing kisses down Adora's jaw and along her neck. Heavy, panting breaths hitch in her throat each time Catra presses a little harder, or nibbles with her fangs.

“Catra, let me kiss your neck.” Adora half-whispers, half-gasps, and Catra looks up at her quizzically. “I can't exactly move closer to do it myself, can I?” She pulls against her restraints to illustrate her point. Catra tilts her head back and the hand on the back of Adora's head roughly tugs her closer.

Adora lavishes her neck with kisses and bites, and Catra's breathing gets heavy. She nibbles at her ear and runs her tongue along the outside of it, drawing out a soft mewl. Little purrs and soft, breathy noises fill Adora's ears, and Catra's grip on the back of her head tightens. Her other hand roams Adora's body, and her hips are rocking gently against Adora's lap.

The sensation sweeps both of them up. Catra's hand gropes her breast, and the smooth rhythm of those hips grinding against her is hypnotic.

“Catra…” Adora moans, pulling away from her neck, hands tugging against their restraints. “I want to touch you.” Catra looks into her eyes and pauses, but Adora doesn't let her hips stop, pushing back up against her and keeping the rhythm going.

“Please, please let me touch you, I want to touch you so badly.” Adora pleads. Catra's face is flushed, her eyes lidded, her chest heaving. She's so beautiful, Adora can barely stand it. The hand on Adora's chest slips down, circling around to drag down her lower back and come to rest on the rope binding her wrists. They hang there for a moment as she stares right into Adora's eyes, her gaze suspicious, but hazy with desire.

“You promise me you'll be a good girl?” She asks, demanding and reverent. Adora's hips thrust upward sharply when she hears those words, and she nods vigorously.

“I’ll be good, I swear, I will be, just  _ please _ .” The end of her sentence comes out as a strained whimper.

A sharp tug pulls at the rope around her wrists, and then it snaps as Catra's claws tear through it.

Her hands immediately fly up to Catra's face, cupping her jaw on each side and pulling her in for a searing kiss. She pushes off the metal of the skiff with her elbow, bringing herself up to her knees, and then keeps going, bowling Catra over so she's lying on her back with Adora on top of her. Catra lets out an undignified squeak of surprise, and Adora laughs. This makes her bristle a bit, and she growls against Adora's mouth.

“You said you wanted to touch me, so touch me. Make it worth my time princess.”

Adora eyes widen a little, and she nods.

“I will.” She promises, and moves her hands down from Catra's face to her neck, and then along her body. She's never touched Catra like this before, and she takes her time, admiring her lithe form, slender, but shockingly toned and muscular.

Her hands descend lower, tracing the little V where her legs meet her torso. Catra shivers. She toys with Catra's belt teasingly, tugging at it, and slipping a few fingers underneath. When they dip lower, Catra throws her head back and screws her eyes shut, her hips rocking forward, trying to create more friction. Adora tugs at her belt again, but then abruptly stops, removing her hand and leaning forward.

Catra opens her eyes and tries to bring her head back up, but the feeling of something cold against her neck stops her. Her pupils narrow to thin slits, and her breaths become more controlled, if no less heavy. She swallows against the stun gun Adora has pressed to her throat - the one that had been holstered on her belt just moments earlier. Adora's eyes are still lidded with desire, but there is a seriousness in them that gleams bright and clear through the haze.

“What happened to being a good girl for me?” Catra says. Despite her teasing words, her tone is grave. Adora doesn't respond. Instead, she pulls her knees closer to her body and reaches back with her free hand to pull at the rope that still binds her ankles together.

“I guess it's your turn this time,” Catra says, “I was always your weakness, I suppose it's only fair that you're mine too.” Adora shakes her head, and with one final tug, undoes the last of her bonds.

“No.” She says, standing up and backing a foot or two away from Catra. She flips the stun gun around so the handle is facing Catra, and offers it to her. “This doesn't make us weak.” Catra eyes her suspiciously, flicking her gaze back and forth between the gun and Adora's face.

“What are you doing?” She asks, rising to her feet and cautiously taking the weapon.

“Making a point.” Adora confidently replies, re-doing her ponytail to fix how messy her hair has gotten. Because of the way Adora offered it to her, the gun in Catra's hand is pointed directly at Adora's chest. “What's it gonna be, force captain?”

Catra is still for a long time.

Adora's heart is still beating hard, but it isn't from arousal anymore.

After a long silence, Catra holsters the stun gun. She turns her head away from Adora to hide her expression, but Adora can see the edge of her mouth curling up in a wide grin. Her heart leaps as she realizes what that means.

Catra understands perfectly.

Still not looking at Adora, Catra brushes past her and steps over to where the sword of protection is lying atop a small pile of supplies. She grabs it, and tosses it to Adora, who catches it by the hilt, fumbling a little bit and almost dropping it before she secures her grip.

“Get out of here, you punk.” Catra laughs, and Adora can't help but smile. “You're not getting that sphere-thingy from the ruins back though, I'm not  _ that _ nice.” Adora sheathes the sword, but rather than leaving, she walks up to Catra, who still isn't looking at her.

“Hey.” She puts a hand on Catra's cheek and turns her head to face her. She plants a long, soft kiss on her lips. When they break apart they're both smiling.

“You're on thin ice princess,” Catra warns, but there is no malice in her voice, “Go, before I change my mind.” After a short pause, Adora reluctantly pulls her hand away and turns to leave. She hops off the side of the skiff and lands on the ground. Her legs wobble a bit, still unsteady after her long ordeal.

The skiff rockets away almost immediately, and she watches it go. It quickly leaves her view, obscured by the undergrowth of the forest, and eventually the whirring sound of its engines fades into the distance, leaving Adora alone in the woods.

She adjusts her trusty Horde jacket and heads off towards Brightmoon with a soft smile on her face.


	5. One Stolen Moment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora, Bow, and Glimmer have all been invited to a celebratory dance back in the kingdom of Cloudgate. They know Catra will be there, and Adora wants to find out where their relationship stands. Catra gets to meet Bow and Perfuma, and things get tense as Adora tries to reconcile the two sides of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You might notice that the final number of chapters is now listed as 11, rather than a question mark, and yep, that means what you think. I have always had the general arc of this story planned out, but now that things are moving along I was able to nail down exactly what I wanted the chapter progression to be. Of course, that number could change depending on what I think the story needs as I keep writing, but I want to at least give you all an idea of what to expect. You also might notice that I added the "angst with a happy ending" tag, and yeah, as angsty as this story gets at times, I do want it to be positive in the end. Speaking of positivity, I decided I wanted to pace out a bit of the angst, so here's a light, fluffy chapter for ya. Enjoy!

Adora examines her reflection in the mirror. She turns to check out her profile, and fidgets with the straps of the dress she's trying on. An unsatisfied frown appears on her face. It doesn't quite look right.

She's shaken out of her thoughts when the door to her room bursts open, and Bow and Glimmer come through. Bow is practically vibrating with energy, not that that's particularly uncommon for him.

“I can't believe we get to go to another fancy dance, I'm so excited!” He exclaims.

“Hey!” Adora greets them with a forced smile.

“I mean, I know that last time you two were in Cloudgate you robbed them, but this time we get to go just to have fun!” Bow continues, her greeting having gone seemingly unnoticed.

“Ugh, I don't think I'll be able to have any fun, I'm so nervous.” Glimmer groans. “I mean, I love parties, but the whole time I'm going to feel like they know what we did, it's gonna be so weird.”

“I'm going to wear my fanciest crop top...”

“I'm a bit nervous too.” Adora chuckles.

“...and there's gonna be tons of food…”

“But according to my mom, it's important for like, diplomacy and stuff. We were  _ personally  _ invited, after all, it would be super rude to decline.”

“...and I'm gonna get to dance with Perfuma…” Glimmer goes a little stiff when she hears that, but quickly relaxes.

“I still don't really understand parties, honestly. What's the reason behind this one? I'm sure your mom told us, but I forgot.”

“...and it's gonna be so great!” Bow's breathless gushing comes to an end. “It's the winter solstice celebration, Adora.” He goes on to explain. “It marks the shortest day of the year, it means that we've made it through the worst of the winter. Not that the winter is that bad in Cloudgate, I’ve heard the climate there is super mild most of the time.”

“You don't remember?” Glimmer’s eyes narrow suspiciously. “Really? You're like, miss prepared, you always remember all the details for this stuff.”

“What, it's just a party, I didn't think it was that important.” Adora tries and fails to sound casual. She's pretty sure that she hasn't succeeded at acting casual once in her life, and she should probably stop trying that strategy.

“Last time we went to a dance you got so nervous that you built an obstacle course in your bedroom. You made a battle strategy and diagrams and everything.”

“Well, uh,” Adora stammers, “I was just worried about all the fancy etiquette stuff, and about convincing Frosta to join the rebellion. This time there's no mission or fancy protocol, soooooo I'm not nervous!” She finishes up with a big smile, hoping to end this line of inquiry.

“Riiiiiiight. You just happened to be super distracted during the meeting. You just happen to be trying on dresses on your own, and checking yourself out in the mirror to make sure you look good. Last time I had to argue with you for thirty minutes to convince you that you couldn't just wear your normal outfit, because the dresses were, and I quote, ‘extremely impractical.’” Bow seems to catch on to what Glimmer is implying, and his eyes go wide. He gasps dramatically.

“Adora, are you trying to impress someone?!”

“What? No no no no, definitely not.” Adora insists, unconvincingly. Glimmer smirks at her and raises an eyebrow.

“Well Bow,” She begins, pinning Adora with her knowing stare, “Cloudgate is neutral ground after all. There's bound to be some representatives from the Horde at the dance. Like, say, I don't know, Hordak's second in command?”

Adora fidgets uncomfortably. She's not quite sure how, but Bow's eyes get even wider.

“You have a crush on Catra?” His voice cracks with excitement.

“What? No! Glimmer, what are you talking about?”

“Are you two girlfriends?” Bow can't hold in his enthusiastic questioning.

“She kissed you outside the museum last time we were in Cloudgate, Adora. I can guess what happened in there, I'm not stupid.” Bow looks like he's about to explode. Adora begins to protest, but Glimmer cuts her off. “You had the map hidden under your skirt when I left, and when you came out,  _ somehow  _ Catra had gotten ahold of it, and your neck was covered in hickies.”

Adora is beet red at this point. She hides her head in her hands. Glimmer and Bow laugh, and wrap her in a big three person hug.

“Awww I'm sorry Adora, we shouldn't tease you too much.” Bow apologizes.

“Yeah, it's alright Adora, it's totally okay to have someone you like.” Glimmer reassures her. “I’m just worried about you. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Thanks guys.” Adora mumbles.

“I can’t really say that I get it Adora.” Glimmer tells her. “She’s our enemy now, even if you two used to be close. But… we’re your friends. We want to support you.” Adora smiles, hugging back tighter before they break apart.

“Now,” Glimmer begins, a teasing smirk on her face, “I saw you fiddling with your outfit before. I know you don’t know much about dresses and makeup and stuff, do you want us to help you look good for her?”

Adora’s face goes red again. She fights the urge to put her head back in her hands, and manages to give an embarrassed nod.

* * *

She really does look good. Glimmer and Bow had fussed over her, and despite how much she hates this stuff, she put up with it, as well as their low-level teasing. Glimmer wasn’t too bad, but she’s pretty sure that Bow does it by accident. He gets excited and asks her embarrassing questions. Adora capitulated to their relentless questioning eventually, telling them about what happened in the ruins, and how Catra had let her go afterward. She hadn’t wanted to tell them about it before, worried that they might get mad at her for having feelings for their enemy. Glimmer was clearly concerned about it, but she made sure that Adora knew it was okay, as long as she was careful.

She walks up the steps to the party, Glimmer at her side. She feels a little wobbly in her heels, but walks confidently. Glimmer convinced her to wear them, and she likes how they look. She settled for some fairly short ones, to make sure she wouldn’t fall on her face. She’s wearing an elegant maroon dress, far less plain than the one she wore to the princess prom, and her hair is down, tumbling over her shoulders in wavy curls.

Despite her friends’ teasing and how awkward she feels in these clothes, she is very happy with it. She looks gorgeous. She had thanked Glimmer and Bow profusely, letting them know that she appreciated it.

She walks through the doors to the ballroom with Glimmer, taking in the sight. Cloudgate is a  _ very _ wealthy kingdom, and it shows. The place is opulent, all white marble and gold trim, with a massive crystal chandelier hanging in the center of the room. There are two raised walkways along either side of the room, with doorways leading off to the various rooms and halls of the palace along it. A grand staircase leads from the door down to the central floor, where a huge crowd of people is already milling about and socializing. She and Glimmer look at each other and smile.

This is going to be fun.

They make their way into the crowd, and manage to find Bow and Perfuma, standing around a large fountain in the center of the room. Glimmer gets a little stiff and awkward, but the four of them manage to make some small talk.

Eventually, some Cloudgate dignitary comes over and greets them. Glimmer uses the distraction and pulls Perfuma aside while Bow is occupied. Adora sees the two princesses talking privately and worries for a moment, but they don't seem to be fighting, so she leaves them to it.

Bow seems to be engaged with the conversation, so Adora takes the opportunity to leave him and wander a bit. She doesn't see any of the other princesses yet, but she chats with a few strangers and tries to relax. Going over to a table by the side and helping herself to a few hors d'oeuvres helps distract her a bit. She feels tense, not just because of the unfamiliar social situation, but because she isn't sure what to expect from the night.

_ She might not even show up _ , she reminds herself.

“Hey Adora.” As if on cue, that familiar, low voice rings out from behind her. Adora turns to face her. She's wearing the same suit that she wore at princess prom, and Adora thinks that it really isn't fair for her to show up looking that good after their last encounter.

“Catra.” Adora tenses up a bit. “Good to see you.”

“Of course it is.” Catra drolls. Normally that would make Adora laugh, but she's still too anxious. There's an awkward silence before Adora finally decides to just say what's on her mind.

“Look Catra, I need to know - can I just enjoy your company tonight, or are you here on… business?”

“Relax, princess, I'm here for the same reason you are.”

“How do I know I can trust you?”

“You don't.” The two of them stare each other down. Adora tries to think it through. Catra can’t do anything too disruptive, or the Horde’s alliance with Cloudgate would be broken. There isn’t any rebellion mission going on that she could interfere with. Adora sighs, relaxing the tension in her shoulders, and smiles.

“I'm glad you're here.”

“Hmm, wish I could say the same to you.” Catra deadpans, plucking a piece of food from the table and popping it in her mouth. Adora rolls her eyes.

“And here I thought we were gonna have a sweet moment, how foolish of me.”

“Yeah, come on Adora, we both know I've never been sweet in my life.” They both laugh a little at that. Catra stiffens a little bit, but Adora knows that's a good thing. Catra always gets more languid and careless in her movements when she's uncomfortable, perhaps as an instinctual way of projecting that she doesn't care. She can be a difficult person to read sometimes, but Adora knows her too well.

“Hey Adora, have you seen Mermista or Frosta anywhere?” Glimmer walks up to her, Bow and Perfuma trailing behind, “I know they're supposed to…” She trails off when she notices Catra.

“Hey sparkles.” Catra smirks. Glimmer narrows her eyes, and there's a long tense silence as Catra wordlessly dares the three newcomers to say something. Glimmer stares. Bow fidgets uncomfortably. Perfuma gives her a hard glare before speaking up.

“What are you doing here?”

“I was invited, princess, I have just as much right to be here as you do. I've been catching up with my good friend Adora here.” She drawls, and the way she emphasizes ‘good friend’ makes Adora squirm a little. Perfuma smiles brightly and waves her hand, creating flower crowns on the heads of the other four. Bow gives an excited little gasp as he looks up at his.

“Well then you are most welcome, force captain Catra. I am always willing to set aside differences. Plumeria is a land of peace after all.” Perfuma's face betrays no signs of anything other than positivity as the stems of the flower crown on Catra's head begin to grow sharp thorns. “We fight only when we are  _ provoked _ .”

Catra freezes, her smug expression gone. The thorns are not long enough to cause damage, but there are tiny pinpricks of blood in a few spots on her head. Adora can see Perfuma's hands shaking slightly, clenched into fists. She puts a hand on the flower princess’ shoulder.

“That's enough.” She tells her in a soft murmur, and Perfuma's fists unclench. Catra takes off the flower crown and quickly tosses it aside. She puts back on her flippant, unbothered expression. There's a carefully maintained looseness to her posture, and Adora can tell that she's a bit shaken.

“Wow, you sure know how to make a girl feel welcome.” Catra puts on a sarcastic tone.

“Sorry Catra, but you need to understand, it’s not easy for us to trust you. We’ve all lost people to the Horde.” Bow tells her. His voice is apologetic, and Catra pauses, her typical flippant defensiveness thrown off-balance by how genuine he sounds. “One of our friends died because of you.” This seems to catch her completely by surprise. She looks at him with a raised eyebrow.

“What?”

“Entrapta.” Adora murmurs, and the moment her name is mentioned the air goes out of the room. Everyone except Catra gets somber and quiet. Perfuma is particular looks very upset, fidgeting with her sleeve and staring at the ground. The group is too caught up in their own recollection to notice a very curious expression on Catra's face. Her brows are slightly furrowed, and she looks deep in thought. She opens her mouth a few times as if to speak, but closes it each time. After a few of these failed attempts, she straightens up with a deep breath, and speaks in a slow, measured voice.

“I didn’t know that she was gone. What… what happened?”

Bow’s voice is soft as he explains, “When we escaped the Fright Zone, after you captured us at princess prom, we had to run through a series of purging chambers. The rest of us made it through, but she… didn't.” A swirl of emotions cross Catra's face, subtle enough that the only one who picks up on it is Adora, but even she can't tell exactly what they mean. Perfuma hasn’t moved at all. She looks  _ miserable _ .

“I’m not... “ Catra begins at length, slow and without malice. “This is a war. I’m not going to apologize to you, and I’m not asking you to trust me. You  _ shouldn’t _ trust me.”

“I never said I didn’t trust you. I just said it wasn’t easy to.” Bow tells her. Her eyebrows quirk upward in surprise.

“Why would you trust me?”

“Because Adora does, and I trust Adora.” His response prompts Catra to flick her eyes quickly over to Adora, and then back to him. When she responds, her tone is mocking, but she stumbles over her words a bit as she starts.

“Y-Yeah, well, uh, well she was always kind of dumb like that.”

“Hey, be fair, we’ve  _ both _ always been kind of dumb.” Adora smirks at her. “The difference is that I don’t pretend I’m not.”

“Well I’m  _ very _ intelligent, and I trust Adora’s judgement.” Bow states matter-of-factly. Adora gives him an amused smile.

“You thought it was a good idea to make an arrow whose sole function was to make a very loud noise.” She teases him.

“Hey, don’t you diss my sonic arrow, it saved us from those killer robots!”

“And I’m sure that’s exactly what you had in mind when you built it, right?” Adora laughs, and Catra cackles a little at Bow’s exaggerated pout. Perfuma seems to brighten, and she rests her arms on his shoulders from behind, hugging him loosely around the neck.

“Well  _ I _ think you’re very smart.” She reassures him affectionately. The somber mood from earlier is gone, and the only one who doesn’t seem more relaxed is Glimmer, who still looks stiff and awkward. Catra looks over at her.

“What's wrong, twinkle-toes, cat got your tongue?” Glimmer’s face blushes bright red, and she stammers for a moment.

“What, uh, no, I’m just-I'm just keeping an eye on you in case you try anything!”

“Well I promise not to try anything you won't like.” Catra teases, and Adora's eyes narrow with amused suspicion at the low, husky voice she slips into. Adora knows that voice well, she just hasn't seen Catra use it on anyone other than her. Glimmer clears her throat and looks away. Catra resumes chatting with Bow and Perfuma, and Glimmer moves over to Adora's side, facing away from the rest of the group. She speaks to Adora in a low murmur so the others don't hear.

“You’re, uh, you’re totally understood Adora. I get it now.” She looks away, embarrassed, and Adora just giggles and gives her a friendly nudge.

“Here they are!” A booming voice echoes from a little ways away from the group. “Here to set sail with me through this kingdom of clouds, it’s my crew!” Seahawk strides up to them, beaming brightly, Mermista trailing behind him with her head in her hands.

“Can you not embarrass me? Please, just once, that’s all I ask.” Mermista grumbles, and Seahawk wraps an arm around her waist to pull her in close to him.

“No promises!”

“Okay, whatever. Well, we’re here everybody. Don’t make a big deal out of it.” They join the group, and a few minutes are spent exchanging greetings and catching up on how things have been going for everybody. Adora glances over to look at Catra, but realizes that she’s gone. Panic swells through her for a brief moment before she sees her standing on one of the raised walkways on the side of the room, leaning against a pillar. She gestures for Adora to follow before slipping out a side door.

“Hey, I'm going to step out for a minute, I just need a breath of fresh air.” Adora excuses herself, and walks up the stairs to the walkway, and through the door. The door leads into a long hallway, and at first Adora isn't sure where Catra went, but she sees her slip through another doorway nearby. Adora follows her out onto a small, secluded, circular balcony, overlooking the city. The music from the ballroom is still clearly audible, but it is quieter, and somewhat muffled.

Catra is leaning against the railing, resting her weight on her forearms and looking out over the view. Adora joins her. She looks over at her old friend's face. Her gaze is distant and pensive. Adora smiles at her expression. Whenever she gets lost in thought like this her lips push out into something like a pout. It’s awfully cute, not that she would ever say that to her. Adora has butterflies in her stomach, but in a weirdly soft, calming way that she only gets around Catra. She's so beautiful.

“Did Sea Hawk drive you off? He can be a bit much, even for me.” Adora tries at friendly conversation. Her voice seems to shake Catra out of her thoughts.

“He does seem annoying.” Catra sounds distant, and unusually contemplative. “Your friends are alright. I don’t think they like me very much, but I can hardly blame them for that.”

“I think they’ll need to get to know you before they can get past being angry. They didn’t like me at first either. Well Glimmer didn’t anyway, I think Bow is just friends with everyone.”

“Hmm.” Catra hums absentmindedly. There's an awkward silence as Adora searches for something to say.

“Did you ever learn what that relic from the ruins is? The sphere-thingy?”

“I passed it along to En-, uh, to our engineers. They analyzed it and figured out what it does.”

“And?”

“You know I can't tell you that.” She murmurs, and Adora nods sadly. It is tactical information, after all. Catra looks over at her. “What are we doing, Adora?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean.” Catra answers sharply. Adora sighs and thinks through her response before saying anything.

“As much as I wish you would leave the Horde, I know that isn’t what you want. I just… I want to get to spend time with you again. Maybe for moments like this we can ignore everything else. We’ll still have to fight on the battlefield, but we can take moments like this for ourselves.”

“If we do this, it’s going to hurt so much worse when we have to fight, you know that right?”

“You’re worth it.” Adora responds instantly. “You’ve always been worth it to me.” A deep blush fills Catra’s cheeks, and she looks away. She doesn’t respond, and there’s a long, charged silence as they listen to the song from the ballroom end. A voice echoes from inside, announcing the start of the first dance of the evening. The music starts up again, something slow and pretty, and Adora steps away from the railing, moving to the center of the balcony before turning to face Catra. She extends a hand in invitation.

Catra takes her hand, and her heart flutters.

There are no words between them as they dance, just a knowing, affectionate quiet. They move in circles, and Adora giggles a little when Catra dramatically spins her. Their eyes are locked. Adora is sure that she's never seen anything as beautiful as those blue and gold eyes. They have had her caught ever since she was a little girl who didn't understand what her feelings meant.

She isn't quite sure how long the song has been going, but hopefully it will be a little longer. Catra is good at this. She's always been better at expressing herself through actions than through words, and the catlike grace of her movements makes her an excellent dancer. Adora leads, although she’s far more clumsy than Catra, who takes over sometimes when she stumbles. Eventually the rush of feelings in Adora’s chest becomes too much, and she pulls Catra into a sharp dip.

She hears Catra’s breath catch in her throat.

Catra hangs securely in her strong, sure embrace, and gazes up at her. There’s an expression on her face that Adora can’t quite place. They hang like that for far longer than the dance would call for. Adora swallows and tightens her grip on Catra, pulling her up and leaning down to meet her in a kiss.

Their arms are around one another, and Catra’s lips are pressed against hers, kissing her back softly. Adora feels giddy and light, and she’s certain that she’s never felt anything as gentle as this in her whole life.

The song ends, and the kiss with it. She helps Catra upright, but doesn’t break apart, staying wrapped in her arms, their faces only inches apart. Catra sighs and closes her eyes, a cute, persistent blush lighting up her cheeks.

“I never thought you’d be the romantic type.” Catra whispers with a smile.

“Trust me, neither did I.”

“Can we stay like this for a little while?”

“Of course.”

They spend their night there, away from the rest of the crowd, dancing and enjoying each other's company. They know that this can't last long, but for now they ignore the outside world and take one moment for themselves, one stolen moment to pretend that this is the only thing that matters.

And in that moment, it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UPDATE 1/18: The next chapter is gonna be delayed a bit. A whole bunch of stuff happened all at once in my personal life, so updates might slow down for a while, but don't worry, this fic isn't about to be abandoned. I'm having too much fun writing it for that :)


	6. Not Strong Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and Catra have forged an uneasy truce, but neither of them are sure how long it can hold. When Catra sneaks into Brightmoon to see Adora, they try to figure out if this relationship is even possible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody, it’s been a while, hasn’t it? Sorry that this fic went on hiatus for so long, a whole lot of stuff happened all at once in my personal life, and I had to put this on hold for a while. But now I’m back! Updates might be a little slower than before, I won’t promise an update every week, but I’m going to make sure that I don’t go longer than a week and a half-two weeks between updates. Thanks for being patient with me, the positive feedback everyone has been leaving has been so encouraging, and it means a lot to me. I’m going to finish this story strong, because you all deserve it!

It’s late evening, and the moon shines brightly over the kingdom that shares its name. A bitter winter breeze trickles through the open windows and archways that line the side of the palace. Adora pulls her jacket tighter as she trudges towards her room. She’s exhausted, the dance in Cloudgate having been immediately followed by a weeklong mission to Salineas, with little chance to rest. Her mind feels foggy, and she is dimly aware that she needs more than just physical rest. She needs space to process what happened at the dance, and what her feelings are.

She is shaken from her haze when she sees Queen Angella standing in the hall, gazing up at the carved image of Micah on the wall. The queen seems lost in thought, her eyes distant and unfocused. Her normally regal posture is uncharacteristically slouched, her wings folded tightly against her back and her shoulders drawn forward, as if to make herself smaller.

“Your majesty.” Adora makes her presence known. Angella’s unusual stance disappears faster than Adora can blink. She stands straighter, holds her head higher, and the nervous air that surrounded her is replaced by regal poise. It happens so quickly and smoothly that Adora is sure she would never have noticed if she hadn’t already been looking. Angella calmly turns and looks at her.

“Welcome back Adora. I hope your journey went well.”

“It did, your majesty. It was a lot easier to reinforce the Sea Gate without Horde troops firing at me the whole time.” Adora chuckles awkwardly. She still feels uncomfortable around Angella, although she knows that she has no reason to be.

“That’s good to hear. I’m sure we can discuss it in more detail another time. For now, it appears that you need some rest.” Adora nods at her and walks past, but before she goes around the corner, her curiosity gets the better of her. She turns to face the queen, and a surge of boldness helps her speak.

“You seem worried, your majesty.” Angella looks at her, calm face betraying no reaction. Adora continues, “Well, I’m sure you’re worried all the time, you’re a queen, and there’s lots of stuff for you to be worried about I guess, but I mean… more than usual.” Her discomfort around the queen makes her ramble, and she has to force herself to stop talking. Angella turns her head away, staring at the image of Micah, and sighs heavily. There is a long pause before she speaks, and when she does, her tone is slow and measured.

“I know about your… exploits during the winter solstice dance. You are far less subtle than you seem to think.” Adora’s face turns bright red, and she stammers, trying to get out a reply that will not come. Angella stares directly into her eyes, and the intensity of her glare does not help ease her embarrassment. “Are you aware of the danger in your actions Adora? You are taking a great risk, not just upon yourself, but upon the entire rebellion. I trust you. I know you will not betray any information that could harm us. But I do not trust _her_.” Adora takes a deep breath and attempts to calm herself. She composes herself the best she can before responding.

“ _I_ trust Catra.”

“She is our enemy.”

“I understand, and I’m not saying that she won’t keep fighting us, but there are some things that I know she would never do. She… she has her own code of honor, even if it’s an unusual one, and I trust her not to break it.” Angella sighs deeply.

“And if your differences cannot be reconciled?”

“I’m not sure I understand what you’re asking ma’am.”

“There may come a time where your conflict can no longer be avoided. Will you be able to do what is necessary?”

“Are you asking if I’ll be able to kill her?”

“Yes.” There is a long pause as Adora considers her answer.

“I don’t know.” she replies softly. The queen gives a small, thoughtful nod.

“I appreciate your honesty. Let’s hope it never comes to that.”

“What if… what if our differences can be reconciled? What if she wants to leave the Horde?” Angella smiles softly at her question.

“Should she show good faith, she will always be welcome in my kingdom. However, it is very late Adora, and I would suggest that you get some rest.”

* * *

Adora sighs as she finishes putting away her gear from the trip. After hanging up her now empty knapsack, she undoes the straps of the sheath for her sword, and carefully tucks it away. With a protracted groan, she flops onto her bed, lying on her back and staring unfocused at the ceiling. Her room is quiet and peaceful, with only the gentle murmuring of the decorative waterfall babbling in the background. It takes her a long moment of listening to the silence to realize what is out of place. She bolts upright.

“How long have you been here?” she asks, eyes darting around the room to find the source of the soft breathing that had almost been hidden by the noise of the waterfall. A self-satisfied laugh cuts through the air, and Catra drops down from the tall wardrobe she had been hiding on top of.

“You’re not very observant, you know that? I was here even before you came into the room.”

“Yeah, well, I’m tired.” she sighs, “Why are you here?” Catra strolls across the room, idly examining her claws.

“Didn’t you know? This is my big evil plot. I’m going to steal your sword and blow the whole place up.”

“Did I mention that I’m tired? Because I am. Just tell me why you’re here.”

“What, aren’t you happy to see me?” Catra gasps with mock offense. Adora groans and falls back to the bed.

“If you don’t tell me I’m going to go to sleep.”

“And leave a dangerous Horde soldier to move freely through the castle?” Adora doesn’t respond. Catra shifts back and forth uncomfortably, standing next to the bed. The continued silence eventually prompts her to turn her head and look away sheepishly, one hand scratching at the back of her neck. “I wanted to see you.” she murmurs.

 _That_ gets Adora’s attention.

She sits up and looks over at Catra. The sight of her looking so embarrassed, avoiding Adora’s gaze with a slight blush on her cheeks, gets Adora to smile.

“You look cute when you blush.” If her cheeks had been a little pink before, they’re bright red now.

“Shut up.” she huffs, and Adora can’t help but laugh. She beckons for Catra to come join her, and after a moment of hesitation, she does, dropping down heavily to sit next to her on the bed. Adora takes her hand and squeezes it gently.

“I’m glad you’re here.”

“I had to see what the big deal with this place was that you liked it so much. I guess it is pretty fancy. The waterfall is a little much.”

“I _didn’t_ like it when I first got here.” Adora admits, and Catra gives her a quizzical look, “The bed they gave me at first was way too soft, I couldn’t even use it. They only gave me this one after I totally wrecked the first one trying to get comfortable.” Catra laughs softly. “Even with this bed, I couldn’t sleep. I thought I would like having my own room, but I was so used to sharing a room with all the other cadets that I couldn’t sleep at all. Glimmer and Bow had to stay with me the first few weeks.” Catra is staring at her intently now. Adora swallows, and looks down. “I missed you so much early on. I wanted to have you here with me so badly.”

“Don’t talk about that,” Catra shakes her head, “I don’t want to talk about that stuff.”

“What? Why?”

“If we talk about it, we’re going to argue. I thought that was the whole point of this. What was it you said in Cloudgate? ‘For moments like this we can ignore everything else.’” Catra’s tone is unusually subdued. Adora wants to argue, but she bites back her words. She knows that Catra is right.

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“I don’t want to fight,” Adora concedes. Catra gives a small nod, but the serious look doesn’t leave her face. Adora gets an idea, and grins mischievously. “So you were hiding in my room the whole time I was putting my stuff away? What were you going to do if I changed into my nightclothes? Were you just going to peep on me like a creepy stalker?” Catra’s seriousness melts away, and she smirks.

“That’s your biggest concern? I’ve literally fucked you before.”

“Hey, I wasn’t naked when we did that,” Adora reminds her. Catra just sticks her tongue out at her in response, and she laughs. “Hmm, that would be an interesting test,” Adora continues, her voice sarcastic and smug, “Do you think you could stay all silent and stealthy? I mean, I’m pretty hot, you might get distracted.” Catra rolls her eyes.

“Oh please, you couldn’t throw me off my game _that_ easily.” Normally, Adora wouldn’t react to Catra’s cockiness. She’s used to it. But Adora wasn’t top of her class in the Fright Zone for no reason. There’s a competitive nature in her core, and Catra’s dismissiveness brings it bubbling up to the surface. A wicked gleam enters Adora’s eyes.

“You want to test that?” she asks, her voice Catra’s eyes go wide.

“Wh-What?”

“You heard me.” Adora shuffles closer to Catra so that they are pressed up next to each other, then puts her hand on Catra’s shoulder and swings her leg around and pivots to straddle Catra’s lap. Her grin is playful, but determined and confident.

“A-Adora, I wasn’t trying to say you don’t look good or anything, you don’t need to…”

“What? Are you scared?” She teases. That shuts Catra up immediately, like she knew it would. She’s not really sure how to follow through on her confidence, and decides to just do what she knows would be effective on herself. She starts by taking her jacket in her hands, taking one side of the unbuttoned center in each hand, running her hands slowly up it as she arches her chest forward. When her hands reach the collar she pushes her chest forward more to grip the collar and slide it off her shoulders. It gets tossed to the floor and she leans back, running her hands across her shoulder and up her neck, drifting them up into her ponytail. Her hair cascades down to her shoulders as her hair tie joins her jacket on the floor.

Catra’s stare is intense, concentrated, and despite how obviously she’s trying not to react, her breath subtly hitches as Adora’s hips gently roll forward against her lap. Adora notices. She smirks as she starts to grind slowly against the girl beneath her.

“That’s cheating.” Catra keeps her voice as even as possible.

She is about to continue when Adora reaches forward and places her index finger gently in the center of Catra's forehead. She shuts up immediately. Adora smirks. “No talking, just watch me.” Catra nods as Adora runs her hands under the hem of her own shirt, slowly lifting it up.

Adora knows that this is stupid. She shouldn't let Catra be in Brightmoon. She shouldn't act like nothing is wrong, like this is normal. But at the same time, she rarely feels this light and happy anymore. It feels like the way she and Catra always used to be. She loves this. Loves the teasing and the jokes and the cute face Catra makes when she's flustered. Loves that she's the only one who can pierce through Catra's guarded exterior. Loves how special that makes her feel.

She doesn't want this to stop.

With another roll of her hips, she reaches down and unbuckles her belt, slowly pulling it off and relishing in the increasingly flustered look on Catra's face. Her eyes close and she licks her lips as she undoes the button of her pants and unzips them. She runs her hands up her sides and continues grinding her hips, before looping her hands around to her back to undo the clasp of her bra. It joins the rest of her clothes on the floor.

She opens her eyes again to savor the look on Catra's face, but what she sees makes her pause. Catra is definitely turned on, that much is obvious, but there's something else.

She looks _extremely_ uncomfortable.

“Hey, are you alright? I was just teasing, we don't have to do any of this if you don't want to.” She backs away off Catra's lap a little and puts a hand on her shoulder, keeping her voice gentle. Catra shakes her head.

“No, I do, it's just…” She makes a small, frustrated noise, and reaches out to run her hands along Adora's hips. “Fuck it.”

She surges forward, tackling Adora onto her back. Fervent kisses are placed all over Adora's lips and her neck and her shoulder, hands wandering up her body and pinning her down by her shoulders.

“Catra-ah” Adora tries to talk, but trails off into a gasp when she feels a hard bite just above her collarbone. “Catra, I-ngh, Catra are you-” She can't get a word in edgewise through Catra's ministrations.

“Shut up,” Catra growls, “I want this, and so do you.”

Well, Adora can't argue with that.

She relaxes into Catra's grip once she knows that she's okay with it. After _thoroughly_ bruising Adora's neck, Catra sits up slightly on Adora's lap, and brings her hands down to run along her breasts. Her breath catches as she instinctually pushes up into the touch, seeking more contact, _needing_ more contact. And she is given what she needs.

Her mind is floating, hazy. Catra's touches are rough and fast and exactly where Adora wants them, touching her exactly how she wants to be touched. Kisses and bites running all along her breasts, claws dragging down her stomach and her hips and her thighs, hard enough to sting, but not hard enough to draw blood. She's gasping and whimpering and squirming under her, feeling overwhelmed in the best possible way.

“Are you enjoying yourself princess?” Catra whispers in her ear, voice pitched sultry and low. Adora manages a soft, breathless yes. Catra's fingers hook under the waistline of her pants and give a light, teasing tug downward. “Do you want more?” Adora bites her lip and gives an enthusiastic nod.

In moments Adora is completely naked beneath Catra, feeling exposed as Catra's touches work their way along her body. She shivers as Catra dips further and further down her body, leaving bites and licks along her breasts, then her stomach, then the top of her legs, trailing around to her inner thigh. She takes a deep breath in anticipation, and then Catra pushes forward sharply and her tongue is right where Adora wants it.

Brutal moans get muffled by her hand as she bites down on her knuckle to silence herself. Catra’s arms are wrapped around her thighs, claws digging hard into her hips, as she licks and sucks traces circles around Adora’s clit. It’s too much, and exactly what she wants.

She doesn’t last long.

The teeth on her knuckle bite down hard enough to leave angry red marks as she whines Catra’s name around it. She tries to buck her hips, but Catra’s hands hold her down firmly, and the inability to move intensifies the pulses of pleasure shooting through her. She releases her own knuckle and gasps as Catra draws her through the shuddering aftershocks with a far softer touch than before.

Catra coaxes her down from the high with a gentle hand carding through her hair. She's breathing deep, heavy breaths, but they grow calmer as she settles. There's adoration in her eyes as she stares up at Catra. Once she's fully recovered, she sits up and wraps her arms around Catra's waist, holding her close as she leans forward and gives her a long kiss.

“Your turn.” she whispers. Catra shakes her head.

“Next time.” She waves her off. Adora gives an exaggerated pout.

“That's what you said when we did this in the ruins. It's already next time.” Catra turns her head away and appears deep in consideration. “You don't have to if you don't want to, but I want to make you feel good.”

“I do want to…” Catra trails off. There's a long pause. “Just hurry up and do it.” There it is again, Adora notices, that peculiar sense of honor. Catra will lie and play tricks all the time, but when she says something in earnest, she holds to it. The hard part is knowing when she's being earnest.

Adora isn't quite sure how to do this. She doesn't know what Catra likes, so she decides to mimic the rough way that Catra pleasured her.

With a sweeping push forward, she topples from a sitting position with Catra on her lap to pinning her down beneath her. She trails hard kisses down Catra's neck as her hands fumble with Catra's belts, yanking them off and tossing them aside.

It takes a minute, but Adora realizes that Catra isn't responding the way she wants. There are little gasps and stifled moans, but she's stiff, as if fighting against Adora's touch. So she decides to take a different tactic.

She pulls back from the rough kisses and sits up, slowly running her hands down Catra's body. She traces along her chest, then her stomach, then over her hips, before sliding them back up her sides and along her neck, coming to rest cradled on either side of her head. She keeps the touches slow and soft, staring down at Catra's body appreciatively. Then she leans in again and kisses her on the lips, staying that way for a while before bringing her hands down. She doesn't break the kiss as she runs gentle touches along Catra's breasts, dragging circles around them over her bodysuit. She kneads them in her hands for a moment before lightly teasing her nipples, nibbling playfully at her lower lip.

Catra melts into her touch. Soft sighs and hums of pleasure escape as Adora kisses along her jaw. _Now_ she knows what Catra likes.

“You're so pretty like this, Catra.” Adora murmurs when she reaches her ear. Catra mewls and her hips buck ever so slightly, her back arching to bring her chest into closer contact with Adora's hands.

Adora has never seen her like this before, soft and pliant and wanting. She decides to push it further. With a drag of her thumbs across Catra's nipples, Adora whispers in her ear.

“You make such cute noises, kitten.”

Catra _whimpers_ , and her whole body becomes boneless. But it doesn't last long. She's only relaxed for the briefest of moments before she goes very stiff and tense, pushing back against Adora. She squirms, and her breathing becomes fast, and Adora can recognize panic when she sees it.

“Hey, Catra, are you okay?” she asks, voice full of concern. Catra makes a tiny, frantic noise, and pushes back hard against her. Adora takes the cue and leans back, letting Catra sit up with Adora in her lap.

“No-no, I can't-I can't-I can't…” She's starting to hyperventilate, and Adora cradles her head with her hands, trying to calm her.

“It's okay, Catra, you're okay, we can stop.” Catra shakes her head violently and pulls Adora's hands away.

“Stop, stop, I can't-this-I can't…” She's talking very fast, stumbling over the words. Adora backs up off her lap, giving her space, but keeping her hands clasped around Catra's right hand.

“Catra, breathe, it's okay, it's me, it's just me.”

“No, no, stop, stop saying that, don't, I can't…”

“What? Catra I don't understand, please, you need to calm down, it's okay, you're safe, it's just me. What's wrong? I just want to help.”

“Stop being so _nice_ to me!” Catra finally cries out. Adora goes silent and lets go of her hand, eyes wide. Catra breathing is still fast and panicked, but she fights to slow it down.

“I can't do this, I can't.” Catra clambers hurriedly off the bed and starts to walk away.

“Catra, stop! What's going on? I don't understand!” Adora pleads, getting to her feet and following her. Catra whirls around to face her.

“I can't _love_ you! I can't! I'm not strong enough. I'm going to have to hurt you. Sometime soon we're going to have to fight again, and I'm going to have to hurt you. I might even have to kill you. I can't do this, I can't be close to you, it hurts too much. I'm not strong enough…”

“Catra, please, we can figure this out!”

“Life isn’t some grand fairytale where everyone gets a happy ending, Adora.” Catra tries to throw her flippant exterior back on, but it’s cracked and ineffective, her voice far too shaky and fragile. “We can’t stop this.”

“We can! You could stay with me, you could join the rebellion! We don't have to fight, we can be together!”

“I’m not joining your stupid fucking princess party, so stop asking me.” She compensates for the raw emotion in her voice by putting on a mean, vicious tone.

“Please,” Adora sobs, tears flowing freely, “Don't do this. Don't make me lose you again.”

“No more games. The next time you see me, you’d better be prepared to kill me.” Catra turns around and leaps off the balcony, digging her claws into the side of the castle and starting to climb down. The noise of her claws scraping into the walls slowly diminishes, until it’s gone. The night is silent once again, pierced only by the gentle murmurs of the waterfall.

Adora is by herself, and suddenly very aware of the cold night air against her skin. Her mind feels slow, as if it can’t process what just happened. Catra’s belts are still lying on the floor, beside the pile of Adora’s clothes. She sits down, falling to the ground and cradling her head into her knees, feeling more alone than she has in a very long time.

* * *

Catra walks for almost an hour before she stops. She looks around. There's no way she could have been followed this far, no way that there's anyone nearby. She is stock still, the shaking of her clenched fists the only sign of movement.

An animalistic scream escapes her lips and she unleashes her fury on the side of a nearby tree, claws slashing and tearing at the bark. Her eyes are wide and rabid, her pupils razor sharp slits. She screams her voice raw, a guttural howl that pierces the still air. She hacks and rips and cuts until her claws crack and ache and her hands are bloody. When she is finally spent she collapses forward onto the marred tree trunk, leaning her head on her arm. She shakes violently. Her breath is ragged. Hot, angry tears drip from her face, falling silently onto the mossy forest floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not… sorry? But I still feel like I should apologize :P


	7. The Battle of Salineas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Horde launches a massive offensive on Salineas in an attempt to cut the rebellion off by sea. It can't be avoided anymore, Adora and Catra are going to have to face one another, and the stakes will be life or death. Catra has unlocked the power of the First One's relic she obtained in the ruin, and this time, Adora might not be able to stand against her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to ActuallyMe for beta-reading this one after my brain stopped being able to process words. You should check out her fics, she writes cool stuff!

Adora sits down to rest, sweating and panting heavily. She’s pushing too hard and she knows it. The training room is empty except for her. She hates this. Hates the anticipation, the nerves. Hates knowing that she can’t do anything about it. Everybody is out there preparing, and there’s nothing she can do to help, and it fills her with a buzzing tension that she can’t shake. Out in the rest of Brightmoon, the troops are being mustered, everything is set in motion. No one is in here to train. The time for training is over. This is what they’ve trained _for_.

The battle is coming.

The rebellion’s spies reported that the Horde was gearing up for a huge offensive that would be coming at the end of the week, but that Brightmoon was not the target this time. It was Salineas. The Horde didn’t appear to be aware of Adora’s mission to reinforce the gate, but even with that advantage, it will be a hard fight. If they take Salineas, they’ll have a forward base of operations to move from, and Brightmoon will have no defences left against a naval attack. The rebellion can’t afford to lose this.

It’s make or break time.

It’s do or die time.

And Adora will have to face her.

She shakes her head. It isn’t a good idea to dwell on it. Thoughts of Catra have been swirling in her mind since their encounter two weeks ago. The days after were spent in a numb haze, refusing to acknowledge her own distress, lest it consume her. There was no one she could talk to. How could she? How could she tell them that she had willingly let the second in command of the Horde into Brightmoon, that she hadn’t called the guards or tried to capture her? She is weak. Selfish. She is letting them all down.

She stands up and goes back to practicing her swordwork with the training dummies. After the first battle for Brightmoon, the rebellion’s armorers had kindly crafted her a personal training sword shaped like the sword of protection, with added weighting to match its swing. She moves in a flurry, practicing different strikes, feeling the rhythm of her movements, the pace of the sword, memorizing every tiny detail. She’s exhausted and breathing heavy, the short rest not enough to ease the lead in her limbs or the burn in her lungs. Her brow is furrowed in concentration and frustration.

The battle strategy has already been planned. The troops are busy at work, organizing themselves, getting ready to move out. Queen Angella is out among them, talking to them. Offering guidance and leadership. Adora is not a leader. She is a soldier.

So she trains.

She moves to the agility training course and she’s so tired she can’t think. Can’t breathe. Her mind is a blur of movements and exercises.

“Adora, stop!” A voice cuts through the haze. She knows that voice.

Glimmer grabs her and teleports them over to a bench on the side of the room, sitting her down. Another flash of sparkles, then another, and she’s carrying a canteen of water, which she rather forcefully offers to Adora. The water can barely make it down her throat with how hard she’s breathing, how difficult it is to stop for even a second.

“Adora, what were you thinking?” she scolds, her voice torn with worry. Adora takes a minute to slow her breathing before she answers.

“I have to be ready. This is too important.”

“Well you won’t be ready if you _kill_ yourself training beforehand!” Glimmer insists, placing her hands firmly on Adora’s shoulders. “Promise me Adora. No more training before the battle. You’re ready, I know you are, and you need to take care of yourself.” Adora starts to protest, but it cut off by a piercing stare from Glimmer. She inherited her mother’s intense stare; a razor sharp glare that brooks no argument. Adora sighs, and gives a quiet nod, dropping her eyes to the floor.

“Yeah, okay.”

“You promise?” Adora flinches internally at Glimmer’s words.

“I promise.”

* * *

Catra prowls the halls of the Fright Zone. The tension leading up to a battle always makes her like this. She doesn’t move comfortably. She _stalks_ , like the fight is already here and she needs to be on alert for any sound. Her tail swishes impatiently, and the fur on it bristles and stands on end as if charged with static. She makes her way towards Entrapta’s lab, which has become something of a command center for the three of them.

“Catra!” A warm, booming voice echoes through her ears the moment the door slides open and she finds herself wrapped in a tight, crushing hug that lifts her off the floor.

“Scorpia…” she chokes out, but doesn’t fight against her.

“Oh!” Scorpia drops her to the ground and backs away a few paces, grinning sheepishly, “Right, personal space, sorry.”

“One of these days you’ll remember that _before_ you hug me.” she muses wryly.

“Based on the data I’ve collected so far, that outcome seem highly unlikely.” Entrapta’s shrill voice calls out from where she’s presiding over a huge monitor on the wall, typing furiously. “Oh, right, hi Catra.” She distractedly waves at her with a segment of her hair.

“Well, it’s progress at least.” Catra chuckles.

“So how are things coming along boss?” Scorpia asks with cheerful enthusiasm.

“They’ve been having me do unit inspections for the entire day, it sucks,” she groans, “And why are you even asking me? You _know_ that, I did unit inspections for your squad earlier Scorpia, you were there.”

“I know, I thought I’d just ask you how it went.” Scorpia responds, apparently unfazed by Catra’s abrasive demeanor. Catra shakes her head and walks over to where Entrapta is standing, completely absorbed in the screens in front of her as her fingers and hair skitter across the keyboard at frightening speeds. The screen is divided into sections, some showing scrolling code, some showing data and charts. A few feet away there’s a clutter of different machines and sensors surrounding a small, spherical object that glows with blue light.

“Tell me you’ve figured out what this thing is by now.” Catra inquires, twirling a lock of purple hair in her fingers. Entrapta doesn’t look at her, doesn’t even stop typing as she responds.

“Yes! Maybe? Kind of.”

“Okay, now give me an actual answer to my question.”

“I’ve determined the function of the sphere you recovered from the First One’s ruin, but the sphere itself isn’t what’s important.” Entrapta explains, a massive grin across her face, her eyes practically sparkling. “The sphere doesn’t have any functionality we can use.”

“What?” Catra exclaims, “Are you telling me I went through all that for nothing?”

“That’s not what I’m telling you.”

“Then what _are_ you telling me?” Catra pinches the bridge of her nose as she mumbles her question.

“The sphere has magical properties, but they’re not what I expected. It isn’t some kind of weapon, it’s a safe. A safe, with many different layers of magical defences and protections.”

“Ooh, can it hold my expensive earrings?” Scorpia pipes in excitedly. “My cousin keeps trying to steal them, but they look way better on me.”

“I suppose it could, Scorpia, but that’s not the exciting part.” Entrapta finally breaks away from the keyboard to look at Catra, rubbing her hands together with glee. “There’s something inside, and from what my scans are telling me, it’s extremely powerful.” Catra’s eyes alight with a glint of possibility. She leans in closer, pulling the loop of hair twirled around her finger tight.

“Open it.”

“It won’t be that simple Catra, it’s a _safe_. I have accessed its code, but there’s layers and layers of reactive thaumaturgical safeguards and auto-lock protocols, in addition to antimagic suppressors and advanced magical wards that render it nearly impervious to physical assault-”

“Summarize.” Catra demands. Entrapta huffs and twitches her lips impatiently.

“If we try to open it, and we do it wrong, it will lock down and become completely impossible to open for an indeterminate period of time. Oh and also we would die.”

“What?”

“When the safeguards are tripped, it activates a pulse of energy, and if my calculations are correct, it would vaporize every single living thing in a ten foot radius around it.” She’s breathless and practically vibrating with manic energy. Catra sighs.

“How long will it take?”

“I’m not sure! Not long, I think. The less time I take, the more likely it is that our entire bodies get disassembled into their component parts.” Catra places her hands down and forcefully grips Entrapta’s shoulders, holding down her bouncy fidgeting.

“Can you get it done before the battle?”

“Piece of cake, boss! Or maybe not cake, cake’s too large, a cupcake would be better. Do you have cupcakes in the Fright Zone?”

“Just keep working until it’s done, understood?” Catra demands, and Entrapta nods.

“Ohhhh no you don’t,” Scorpia frowns, folding her arms over her chest, “She hasn’t slept in three days, she needs rest first.”

“No no, I’m completely fine, I do this all the time! In fact, the longest continuous period of time I’ve been awake was 116 hours, I can even show you, I recorded the experience in my logs.” Entrapta keeps babbling, and Catra tunes it out, taking a closer look at her. There are dark circles under her eyes, and her eyelids are half-closed. She’s not just fidgeting, she’s twitching and shivering. Her clothes are a complete mess, and the incessant energy of her talking doesn’t seem to reach her limbs, which move slowly and imprecisely. Catra frowns deeply.

“Shut up Entrapta,” she cuts off her rambling, “You’re going to go to bed, and you can resume work in the morning.”

“But I’m so close, if I had a little more-”

“That’s an order.” Catra growls. With an indignant pout, Entrapta shuts off the terminal she had been working at, and walks over to clear some jumbled tools and scrap off the cot she had insisted on having moved to the lab. Scorpia gives Catra a pleased look.

“Well I need to head out boss, I’ve got some more stuff on the checklist for my squad that I need to take care of, and I’m pretty sure you’re the one who’s gotta yell at me if I don’t do it.” she jokes. Catra doesn’t respond with with her typical eyeroll or snippy insult that she uses for Scorpia’s humor. She hums, glancing off to the side, a distant look on her face. Scorpia turns to leave right before Catra finally responds.

“Scorpia.” Catra gets her attention, grabbing her arm at the top of the claw and pulling her to turn and meet her eyes. She speaks in a low tone that doesn’t carry far enough for Entrapta to hear. “I don’t pay attention to stuff like that a lot of the time, and she’s too stubborn to talk about it when it’s happening. Just… keep an eye on her alright? Tell me if something like that is going on.” A beaming smile takes over Scorpia’s face.

“Aww, kitty!” She goes in for a hug, but Catra aggressively pushes her back before she can initiate it.

“Personal space, Scorpia.” Catra reminds her, “You did something useful, so I’ll let the kitty comment go, just this once. Now get out of here, or I actually _will_ yell at you when you don’t finish that checklist.” Scorpia gives her a salute, friendly grin still plastered across her face, and leaves. Catra moves towards the exit as well, but stops herself. She glances over at Entrapta, who seems just about ready to jump into bed. A particular conversation from the winter solstice dance is replaying in her head.

 _They didn’t leave you,_ she thinks, staring at the eccentric princess. _They left me, but they didn’t leave you_.

Thoughts of when she first met Entrapta pop into her mind. ‘ _They’re not coming back for me.’_ Entrapta cares about her friends. She was destroyed when they left.

“Hey, Entrapta.” Catra calls out, voice soft and a touch unsure. Entrapta tears her attention away from arranging her pillows in the specific pattern that she likes.

“Yes?”

“I…” Catra hesitates.

 _They didn’t leave you, but they did leave me. Adora left me._ Adora. The one who left her behind, the one that she hurt. She remembers the first battle for Brightmoon, when Adora was utterly defeated. When she told her new friends that she had failed them, that she couldn’t save them. Catra had been gleefully excited for her to see how false those new friends were, how they were using her, how they only wanted her because of She-Ra. But that wasn’t what happened. They told her it was okay. Her new friends were there for her, when her old friend was not. Her new friends refused to hurt her like old friend had. She stares at Entrapta.

“Nothing. Go to sleep.” she sighs, turning away and walking out the door. She thinks of Entrapta, and Scorpia, her friends in the new life she’s built for herself.

_I hurt her, and I’m going to do it again. But I don’t have to hurt them._

* * *

Adora walks along the winding outer walkway of one of the seashell spires of Salineas. The soldiers from Brightmoon are below, working with the Salinean troops to get all of the defences ready. She walks slowly but purposefully, as she has been all day. Exploring Mermista’s kingdom, getting a feel for it, so she can know it properly when the time to fight for it comes.

She reaches the top of the spire, where a small, open-air room has been built into the structure where the walkway ends, creating a flat balcony. Mermista is standing there, staring down at the restless activity below. Adora pauses, and then approaches her.

“Hey Mermista.” She makes her presence known, and Mermista glances over at her for a moment before looking back down at the troops.

“Hey Adora. I guess like, thanks for being here, or whatever.” Her disinterested demeanor seems even more deliberate than usual. As much as she tries to look casual, the worry is clearly written on her face. Adora steps forward to stand beside her, and follows her gaze down to the courtyard below. There are a lot of people streaming through it, all moving purposefully, intent on their preparations, but Mermista’s eyes seem fixed on one spot in particular. Sea Hawk is standing on the edge of the courtyard, talking about something with Bow, his usual bombast clearly visible in his exaggerated gestures. Adora looks back at Mermista.

“You care about him a lot, don’t you?” She’s not sure why she asks. She knows Mermista would never admit that, as obvious as it is to literally everyone around her. There will be a flippant dismissal, possibly even a scoff, with a deep blush that makes the actual answer clear. There isn’t really a reason to ask, but it just seems like the thing to do in this situation, so she does. But Mermista’s answer surprises her.

“He shouldn’t even be here.” Mermista grumbles, “It’s not like he’s a soldier or anything. Yeah, maybe he’s fought with us a few times or whatever, but nothing like this.” Her eyes are distant and glassy. Adora pauses, and thinks carefully about what to say next. How to avoid pushing too hard and making Mermista close up.

“He’s a brave man, Mermista. Even if he’s not a soldier, he has the strength to face this.”

“He’s not brave, he’s stupid.” Mermista snaps. Adora doesn’t anything, just lets the words hang there in the space between them. There is a long moment of silence. Mermista’s eyes never move from him. “We’re gonna lose a lot of people tomorrow, and he won’t allow himself to be anywhere but the frontline, right in the middle of it. Says that anything else would make him a coward.”

“And if he asked you to stay back and not join the fight, would you? Would you ever be okay with letting your friends go out there to fight without you?” Mermista doesn’t respond. Her lips are drawn into a thin line, her brows furrowed and eyes harder than steel. “He’s scared, hell, they all are. I am too. But he’s going to go out there and fight, because he cares about his friends, because he cares about _you_.”

“I’m a real asshole to him, aren’t I?” she says flatly. Adora raises an eyebrow, surprised.

“I don’t think so. He knows that none of that stuff is true. Everybody does, to be honest.”

“It doesn’t matter if I mean it or not, they’re still shitty things to say. I was always a huge jerk to him. And he never stopped caring about me.” Mermista’s voice is suddenly shaky, and Adora can see her eyes growing wet. “No matter how anxious or insecure I got, he stayed. No one _ever_ stays. But he did.” She’s blinking heavily to clear the tears from her eyes, her entire body stiff and tense, her hands clenched tightly at her sides. Adora puts a hand on her shoulder and squeezes gently. Mermista flinches at the touch, but then relaxes, lessening some of the tension in her posture.

“I’m worried too.” Adora says softly.

* * *

Catra gazes at the horizon, trying to ignore the queasy feeling in her stomach. The other members of Scorpia’s squad rush to and fro, doing… boat things. She doesn’t know much about boats, and doesn’t particularly care to learn. The rest of the fleet sails alongside them in perfect formation. She steps away from the prow, walking back towards her quarters. The sight of so much water puts her on edge, and it mixes with the electric anticipation of an impending battle.

It’s almost time.

She sits down on the cot in her quarters and adjusts the new headpiece Entrapta built for her. It’s similar to her old one, but the shape and weight of it is different, and it makes her _aware_ of it in a way she hadn’t been with her old headpiece. Her hands drift over to the small table by her cot and pick up the object sitting on it. The spherical relic from the First One’s ruin. The steady blue glow it had emitted before is gone, leaving it dark and dull-looking. She thinks about the explanation Entrapta had given when the sphere was finally opened and they saw what was inside. She twists it open. Two small, oval crystals sit inside, each of them a rather beautiful sky blue color.

A wicked grin spreads across her face.

* * *

Adora sprints full tilt up the spiral walkway, the stinging pain of her burning lungs suppressed by the adrenaline coursing through her veins. The clamor of battle rings through the air, clashing steel and crackling blaster fire and jumbled shouts and screams. This is exactly what they had tried to avoid - an up close and personal assault, enemy soldiers swarming through the streets, infantry trading fire from between buildings.

The plan was mostly successful, but Catra is a clever tactician as well, and they’re losing ground. The reinforced Sea Gate had taken them by surprise, holding strong through the intense barrage of cannonfire. Frosta froze the entire surface of the water leading up to the gate, but Catra had anticipated this, and the hulls of their ships were modified and reinforced to act as icebreakers, and they plowed through, slowed, but not stopped. Mermista tried to drown a few ships with her magic, but with the water frozen over, her powers were hampered. Twin harpoons with heavy cables were fired from the ships into the stone walls, unfolding to form rope ladders for the soldiers to clamber up and over the walls. Perfuma ripped them down with her vines, but the ships and the soldiers on them focused all of their fire at the top of the wall, blasting apart the stone and forcing her to retreat, leaving a clear path. The Horde suffered heavy losses getting past the gate, but here they are, and they have far more troops to expend than the rebellion.

Adora reaches the end of the walkway at the top of the spire, and charges the Horde snipers using it as a vantage point. They scramble to pull out their stun batons and energy shield, but Adora manages to kick one of them full-force, sending him flying into the air and careening to the ground below. Before she can take out the three remaining soldiers, a hail of blaster fire from the ground forces her to transform the sword into its shield form and protect herself.

The assault abates when Netossa throws a net around the ground troops, containing their fire, but the damage is done. The three soldiers beside her slam into her, and she can’t force them back with the threat of her sword. She manages to bash one of them away before a surge of electricity courses through her body. With a cry of pain she pushes her attacker away before collapsing to her knees. She braces herself for another shock that she knows is coming.

“Ha haa!” A distinctive voice calls out, and Adora looks up to see Sea Hawk rushing past with a rapier in hand. He places himself between her and her attackers, forcing them back with a series of quick jabs. He is a surprisingly competent fighter, even if he seems to exaggerate his attacks to be more dramatic and elegant. “Fight me with Adora, and let us show these scoundrels what for!”

The three of them bunch up and advance forward again, trying to overwhelm him, but it’s too late. Adora’s muscles have stopped seizing up and she flings herself directly into them, the mass of her body slamming into their raised shields and bowling them over. Adora and Sea Hawk dispatch them quickly. Dealing with the sniper fire frees up a squad of rebellion soldiers from where they had been pinned, and they rush forward in a counterattack.

“Thanks Sea Hawk.” She claps him on the shoulder, trying to catch her breath while she surveys the scene below to discern where she’s needed next.

“Think nothing of it, my dear friend. It is as honor to fight by your side.”

The thunderous boom of cannonfire echoes through the air, and Adora’s gaze whips around. An energy bolt from one of the Horde ships in front of the gate is flying towards them, the top of the spire they’re on tall enough to have direct line of sight over the wall. The explosive shot is enough to pulverise the entire platform they’re standing on. Mermista’s words echo in her head.

She acts on instinct.

  
The hand clasped on Sea Hawk’s shoulder tenses and heaves him backward, away from her, and she leaps directly at the bolt, holding her shield in front of her. There is a brief moment where she hangs in the air, perception heightened, noticing every crackle of energy that surrounds the ball of green fire. She holds her shield out, arms extended as far as they’ll go.

A deafening roar of sound, a pulse of force shuddering through her arms and her shoulders, a blinding flash of green light, and she’s flying backwards through the air, the force of the explosion blasting her backwards like a rocket. She’s flying up through the air, past the top of the spire, over the outer wall that separates the crashing waves of the ocean from the battlefield.

She’s falling.

Her brain barely has time to process what’s happening before she plunges into the cold waters, the force of it slamming into her body like a tank. She spins around under the water, only inches from a sharp rock that would have killed her had she landed on it. The swirling waters are dark, and she fights to get her bearings, her lungs already burning after the impact knocked the wind out of her. Her legs kick desperately as she swims. The water breaks and she gasps in deep lungfuls of air, sputtering and choking as the waves partially submerge her again, carrying salt water into her mouth.

The force of the waves pushes her back towards the huge rock wall behind her, and she swims against the tide in a panic, trying to get away from the roaring crash of where the water breaks against stone. Her head whips around as she attempts to get her bearings, attempts to find a way out of the water without having to circle around to the other side, where the Horde ships lie in wait. She spots a wide ledge above the water not far away, one side of it sloping into the water in a jumble of rocks. She straps her shield to her back so she can use both arms and swims over, using the surge of the waves to pull herself up the rocks and crawl onto the flat ledge.

Wet, hacking coughs echo from her throat as she lies on her hands and knees, getting out the seawater that she swallowed. She turns herself around and sits, taking deep, heaving breath. The adrenaline can’t suppress the wracking pains in every part of her body anymore, nor the chill that seeps into her bones from the icy water.

The rush of pain and relief and adrenaline flooding through her body is overwhelming, and it passes through her in shuddering sobs, her head placed in her hands. The glow of She-Ra flickers and dims around her. _No_ , she berates herself, _Stand up soldier, you still have a job to do_. The power trickles through her fingers like sand. She grits her teeth and forces down the exhaustion and the fear inside her. Clutches onto the power with a grip of iron will. Holds it there as it fights against her, tries to retreat.

“No.” She growls, and pounds her fist onto the ground hard enough to splinter the stone. “Get back here, She-Ra. I’m not done with you yet.”

Wavering legs slowly regain their strength as she rises to stand. The glow returns, not as bright as before, but still there. She stands tall and surveys the scene. The broad ledge she’s standing on sits five or six feet above the crashing waves. The massive cliff wall rises up beside her on the other side, far too tall to get past. She can’t swim around, that’s where all the Horde ships are, and not even She-Ra can take on that many enemies at once. Maybe there’s some way she can signal to Glimmer?

Her thoughts are interrupted by a shape that circles around the side of the cliff into view, hurtling through the air a few feet above the surface of the ocean. A Horde skimmer. It flies towards her at breakneck speed, the force of its propulsion casting a broad wake through the water behind it. Adora takes her shield off of her back and transforms it back into sword form, settling back into a battle stance. The Horde must have seen her get tossed over the wall and sent a skimmer to make sure she was dealt with. It cuts through the waves as it draws closer, and Adora’s heart clutches in her throat when she sees the pilot.

_‘The next time you see me, you’d better be prepared to kill me.’_

“She-Ra.” Catra’s voice is cold and serious as she brings the skimmer to a stop and jumps down onto the ledge, standing opposite Adora.

“You don’t have to do this.” Adora pleads, keeping her stance as steady as her insides aren’t. Being She-Ra heightens her perception, and even through her concentration she notices that Catra’s headpiece is different. It is fitted on her face just like her old one, but there’s an extra piece of it that is folded upward on a hinge, keeping it out of her face. She can’t tell exactly what it is from this angle.

“Gods, when did you become so boring?” Catra taunts as the two of them begin to circle each other, “It’s like that’s all you know how to say. We’ve had this conversation before, you really need to find new things to talk about.”

“What are you even trying to do Catra?” Adora asks, “We’ve done this whole dance before. You can’t beat me in a one-on-one fight like this and you know it.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, She-Ra.” Catra spits the name out of her throat like bile, a bitter contrast to the mocking laughter of her tone. “You know, they gave me some whole science-ey technobabble explanation for how it works, but I don’t remember most of it. Something about ‘amplifying internal magical power.’” Catra makes airquotes with her fingers. Adora’s brows furrow with confusion.

“What? Are you trying to tell me that that’s how the sword works?” Adora asks. Catra cackles at her confusion and reaches a hand up to the headpiece. A feral grin crosses her face, eyes gleaming and teeth bared.

“Oh, no no no, my sweet, dumb princess. I’m trying to tell you that you’re not the only one here who’s magic.” Catra’s voice is vicious with glee. She moves the hand on her headpiece, and flicks the hinged piece down in front of her face. It reveals itself to be some sort of visor, slotting down over her eyes. Where the eyeholes would be are two sky blue gemstones, and when they fall into place in front of her eyes, they erupt with blinding light.

Catra screams.

When she transforms, it isn’t anything like when Adora becomes She-Ra. It isn’t a beautiful lightshow, an ethereal shift from one form to another. No, her transformation is horrifyingly physical. Her muscles writhe and shift, bones pulling and cracking and popping, thin fur growing thick and coarse. Her whole form stretches, proportions warping and changing. The headpiece moves with her, staying over her face as fangs elongate and jaw muscles grow powerful and fierce. As her body changes, Catra’s howl of pain transforms into a bestial roar.

“Catra!” Adora cries out in horror at her friend’s pain. There’s nothing she can do but stare, wide-eyed and terrified, as the transformation completes. In front of her is a massive tiger-like creature, tall enough for its shoulder to reach her chest.

And then it’s on top of her.

Catra moves faster than she can blink, muscles rippling and coursing, throwing the gigantic mass of her body at her. Adora throws herself to the side, diving out of the way and just barely managing to roll to her feet before the next assault. She transforms her sword into a shield and places itself between her and Catra’s powerful jaws, sliding backwards with the force of the body slamming against her.

Catra has been brutal in the past. Vicious. But this is something else. She fights like something rabid, all claws and teeth and guttural snarls. Adora knows in an instant that she can’t stand against this for long. Catra’s movements are too fast, her strength too overpowering, her attacks relentless.

“Catra, please, stop!” Adora cries out to her in desperation, but the only reply she gets is a vicious growl as claws slam into her shield yet again. She has no idea if Catra can even hear her like this, if there’s any of her left in there at all.

Catra leaps at her, and their bodies collide. Adora gasps as the breath is knocked out of her and she’s completely bowled over, shield flying out of her hands and clattering to the ground behind her. She has only a moment to respond as Catra is on top of her, jaws bearing down towards her head. Her hands fly up and grab onto Catra’s face, arms straining with effort to hold her back. Catra snaps her teeth at her and snarls, pushing down against her.

Adora desperately tries to keep the strength in her arms. Desperately tries to keep herself alive. She can’t hold for much longer. Can’t think of a way out of this. Closes her eyes and fights to stay strong for just another moment, just a little longer, just another breath. This isn’t how it’s supposed to end. She can’t die like this, torn apart by the girl she loves, leaving behind all of her friends to falter and die without her. It isn’t fair. It isn’t right. Her desperation changes to anger, and she feels She-Ra course through her.

“Enough!”

She-Ra doesn’t just glow. She is the sun, blinding and awe-inspiring and dangerous. Her light is golden, and everywhere, and it is strength. The muscles in her arms ripple with strength as she flings Catra’s entire body off of her, sending her flying ten feet back through the air before she crashes back to the ground.

She is fire. She is glory. She is the archon of Etheria, and she will not die today.

Catra is back on her feet and charging at her full-speed. She-Ra widens her stance and braces for impact, calm and ready. This time, when Catra bashes into her, she does not get knocked back. She puts her arms out in front of her and intercepts her, completely stopping her forward momentum in midair. Then she tugs downward and slams her roughly into the ground on her back.

She positions herself above Catra, straddling her throat, and punches full force. Her fist slams into the headpiece, and she can feel Catra’s head crack back against the rock. Another punch. Another. Another. She keeps going until Catra’s writhing and flailing against her slows, and her head lies in a small crater in the ground. She pulls her arm back one more time and pours all of her strength into the blow. When it lands, Catra’s headpiece cracks in half, and the two gems over her eyes shatter apart.

An explosion of brilliant blue light blinds them. It does not make a sound. Instead, it seems to absorb the sound from the world around it, a resounding peal of pure silence. She-Ra can’t see, can’t hear, all she can feel is the nauseous sense of tumbling through the air.

And then it’s gone.

The light disappears, and the very first sound that reaches She-Ra’s ears is the noise of her body slamming into the ground. Rough stone scrapes and tears against her skin as she skids across the ground, but she barely notices it. In an instant she’s on her feet again, whirling about to face her enemy.

In the center of the ledge stands not a monster, but a person once again. Catra stumbles to her feet on unsteady legs, trembling, but arranging herself into a fighting stance nonetheless. She-Ra strides purposefully towards her, scooping the shield off the ground along the way and transforming it back into a sword. Catra’s legs are no longer shaking, and she bares her teeth, claws extended to their full length.

They meet in the middle, and Catra immediately swipes with her claws. Her movements are slow and heavy, propelled only through anger and desperation. She-Ra easily avoids them, countering with a punch to the chest that sends Catra careening backward. She tumbles over and tucks into a roll, getting back to her feet and stumbling back away from the imposing warrior before her. The sword swings, and she just barely manages to leap out of reach before it hits her.

“The Horde is a darkness that spreads across all of Etheria, and you are part of it.” She-Ra declares in a voice that Catra does not recognize. It is alien, and cold, and it is not Adora.

“Adora.” Catra calls out to her, but is interrupted by a forward thrust aimed directly at her chest. She tries to dodge to the side, but She-Ra’s foot juts out and catches her own, sending her spinning around. She just barely manages to keep her feet, stumbling forward to avoid falling, but now she’s facing away from She-Ra, and she doesn’t get a chance to dodge before a vertical slice rips a bloody gash directly up her back.

Catra has experienced a lot of pain in her life. Scars and burns and crackling magic. In some ways it gets easier to bear. You become accustomed to it. But there are some kinds of pain that no one can be ready for.

She doesn’t scream. She doesn’t cry out. Her eyes go wide and her muscles go slack and her mouth hangs open with a silent ‘oh’.

And then she’s on the ground.

“The shadows cannot remain. They will be burned away by the brilliance of my light.” She-Ra speaks as if nothing happened in between her last sentence and this one. One hand takes Catra’s shoulder in a rough grip and pulls her around to lie on her back, facing up. She’s panting, eyes blurry and watering, staring up at the golden warrior above her. She-Ra bends down, planting a knee on Catra’s chest. She takes the hilt of the sword in both hands and holds it tight, the tip of it hovering an inch above Catra’s throat.

“Speak your last words. Make peace with your gods before you meet them.” Catra stares up at She-Ra. Her eyes are icy and unfamiliar. They are not the beautiful sky blue eyes that Catra has known her whole life. There is no warmth in them, no compassion. Adora is not there.

“Adora.” Catra chokes out. She’s not sure why she says it. Perhaps it is a plea, but that doesn’t sit right with her. She doesn’t beg, has never begged anyone in her life. No. It is a remembrance, but for which one of them, she cannot say. She closes her eyes.

This was always how it was going to have to end.

There is a long, pregnant pause, as Catra waits for the blade to pierce her throat. But the pain doesn’t come. She-Ra’s glow is visible even when her eyes are closed, but all of a sudden it’s gone. Metal clatters against stone a few feet to her side, and the weight on her chest disappears. She opens her eyes.

Adora is sitting at her feet.

Not She-Ra.

Adora.

Her hands are clutched together over her mouth, and her eyes are wide with horror. Catra swallows and slowly pulls herself up to rest on her elbows, meeting Adora’s gaze. Adora is trembling violently, knees pulled in tight, elbows clamped close to her sides. She slowly lowers her hands from her face, choosing instead to wrap her arms around her knees and pull them to her chest.

“I…” She begins, voice shaky. “I almost…”

“Yeah, you almost did.” Catra forces out, the words scratchy and painful in her throat.

“I’m so sorry, I couldn’t-I couldn’t control her, I couldn’t make her stop.”

“Why would you want to make her stop?” Catra growls, “You should’ve just gone ahead and done it.” She brings herself up to sit, and then to stand, shaking with pain, limbs weak and leaden. Adora just shakes her head. Catra sighs. There’s no way she can fight back now. She takes a few steps back towards her skiff, eyes locked with Adora’s the entire time.

“Adora!” A familiar voice cuts through the air as Glimmer appears between them, rushing to Adora without even noticing Catra’s presence. “We saw the flash of light, what happened? Are you oka-” She cuts herself off, noticing the terrified stare in Adora’s eyes. She turns around, and when she sees Catra, her hands ball into fists.

“You!” Glimmer snarls, stomping towards Catra, hands lighting up with magical energy. “What did you do to her?” Catra tries to back up faster, eyes darting back and forth, looking for any other way to escape. She can barely walk, there’s no way she can fight, especially not against a princess, _especially_ not against a princess who can _teleport_. But before Glimmer can land a blow on her, Adora’s voice calls out.

“Glimmer stop!”

“What? Adora, we can’t just-”

“I said stop!” Adora roars, and Glimmer shuts up immediately. “Let her go.” Glimmer turns back to Catra, and sees her properly for the first time. Sees how utterly battered she is. Sees the limp and the bruises and _oh gods so much blood_. She whips her head back to look at Adora. Sees the look in Adora’s eyes. Her tense posture relaxes and she lets out a deep sigh.

“Okay.” She nods, and gently takes Catra’s arm, who doesn’t even have the energy to flinch away. “Come on.” A sickening sensation floods Catra’s stomach as she finds herself standing on her skiff.

_So that’s what teleportation feels like._

She takes one last look at Adora. Sitting there in the middle of the ledge, she doesn’t see a mighty warrior. Just a girl, more scared than she ever thought she could be.

“Glimmer.” Catra murmurs.

“Yeah?”

“Just…” Catra hesitates for a long time. She sighs. “Look after her for me, alright?”

Glimmer nods slowly, and then teleports back over to Adora. Catra watches the two of them. Glimmer pulls Adora into a tight hug, and Adora looks like she might be crying, with the way her body is shaking in Glimmer’s embrace. Catra takes a deep breath. In. Out. Then she turns away, powering on the skiff and piloting it back towards the Horde ships, away from the ledge by the sea where she almost lost her life.

* * *

Adora sits on a cot in a hastily constructed open-air medical tent. Rebellion soldiers rush back and forth through the streets. Losses are being counted, and those who can still be saved are being saved.

A hard fought victory. A hard earned one. But a victory.

Adora pulls the blanket tight around her body. She doesn’t really need to be here, given how sturdy She-Ra is, but Glimmer had insisted that she get her minor injuries treated. The rest of the tent is full of people who truly need the help. Broken bones, bleeding wounds, blaster burns. Yet despite the many wounded, they had lost fewer people than expected. Adora stares across the courtyard.

Sea Hawk is walking along with an injured soldier leaning on him for support, arm slung over his shoulder. He passes the man off to two of his friends walking by, who bring him over to be treated. Sea Hawk definitely looks a little worse for wear. His clothes are torn, he’s limping slightly, and it looks like the end of his moustache got burned off at some point. But he’s alive.

She sees Mermista sprint over to him and pull him into a tight, desperate embrace. She holds him like that for a while, unwilling to let go, and he rests his head on hers. They pull apart, and Adora can tell that they’re talking to each other, but they’re too far away for her to make out the words. Besides, she reasons, those words are for them, not anyone else.

“Your majesty.” a few voices in the tent say. Adora turns to see Queen Angella walk in. She is less than pristine after the battle, but her regal demeanor is not lessened one bit. The two of them lock eyes, and Angella nods at her before speaking with each of the wounded in turn. Gentle, reassuring words, commending them for their courage, comforting them. She speaks to each and every one of them before she reaches Adora.

“Your majesty.” Adora nods respectfully.

“You fought bravely today Adora.” The queen smiles at her with genuine kindness. She sits down on the end of the bed beside her, and folds her hands in her lap. Adora hums in acknowledgment, but doesn’t say anything. A bubbling, guilt feeling pervades her chest, and she doesn’t meet the queen’s gaze. “Are you alright?”

“I think I have an answer to your question now.” Adora decides on her words after a long moment of thought.

“I’m not sure what you mean.”

“When we spoke back in Brightmoon, you asked me if I would be able to kill Catra, and I told you that I wasn’t sure. Well I’m sure now.”

“And?”

“I can’t do it.” Adora shakes her head, and tears start to stream down her face. “I can’t-I can’t do it. I’m sorry, I had the chance to during the battle, but I just, I couldn’t-” Angella shushes her and pulls her head into her chest, running a hand through her hair.

“It’s alright dear, it’s alright.” Adora sobs and presses her face against Angella.

“I’m sorry, I let you all down, I-”

“Adora, you didn’t let anyone down. It was never a question you should have had to answer. It was never fair for all of this to be on your shoulders.” The two of them remain like that for some time, the queen gently holding Adora, whose tears seep into the queen’s clothes as she cries. Eventually she manages to calm herself down, and pulls away to look Angella in the eye. Angella keeps her hands clasped around Adora’s, absently brushing her thumb across the back of it.

“The last time I saw her, she said that one of us was going to have to kill the other. That we don’t have a choice. But I just, I couldn’t-”

“Nonsense.” Queen Angella shakes her head. “There is always a choice Adora, never forget that. There is _always_ a choice. Do you want to know why I’m not angry with you?”

“Why?”

“Because today you told the world who you are. You were given every possible reason, every possible excuse, and you held firm. You said no, I refuse to hurt the people I love, no matter what. You made a choice about what kind of person you are, and you stood by it. And the person you are is someone you should be proud of. Is someone that _I_ am proud of. So no, Adora, I am not angry with you. I could never be angry about that.”

“Thank you.” Adora smiles, and Angella squeezes her hand gently.

“You’re very welcome Adora. I apologize, but I do need to leave you now, there is much that needs to be done. You remain here and rest, I can tell that you need it.” Adora nods, and the queen rises to her feet and leaves the tent.

Thoughts drift through Adora’s tired mind. The queen’s words. What Catra told her back in Brightmoon.

_There is always a choice._

That’s the crux of things, isn’t it? Catra keeps saying that they have to do this, that they don’t have a choice. But they do.

_I’ve made my choice Catra. And you need to make yours._


	8. Who We Are

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora's fight with Catra at the battle of Salineas has left her questioning herself and what she stands for. When Catra shows up again after months of absence, the two of them have to make a choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody, I'm back! I am absolutely determined to get this fic finished before season 2 comes out, so expect updates every week for the next few weeks.

Adora paces along the dirt trail, lost in thought. The path was a pleasant little discovery, a walking trail that winds and twists its way through the edge of the whispering wood near Brightmoon, far enough away to provide solitude, but close enough to avoid the dangers of the deep woods. She took a liking to walking or jogging the length of it every day, as a way to collect her thoughts in private. Today she is ambling slowly, barely paying any attention to the lushness of the forest around her.

There is an image lodged in her brain. An image that has taken up residence and refuses to leave her, no matter how much she tries to distract herself.

Catra, flat on the ground, the sword of protection right at her throat, blood pooling around her from the gaping wound in her back. Adora shakes her head and clenches her eyes shut as the image invades her mind once again.

Two months since the battle of Salineas. Two months since she lost control and almost killed her. Two months since she last transformed. If She-Ra cannot be controlled, she cannot be allowed to exist. No matter how much the rebellion might need her.

But they  _ haven't _ needed her. Both sides suffered tremendous losses at Salineas, but the horde lost far more than the rebellion. They decided to fall back and regroup. Glimmer correctly decided that this was the rebellion’s chance to take back some ground, and led a few missions to reclaim territory. This brief respite from the Horde’s aggression has provided Adora with some time to reflect. Two months away from the frontlines, away from the war. Two months to wonder whether or not Catra is still alive.

There's that image again, crawling through her brain like a parasite. Catra's eyes in that moment,  _ gods _ , her  _ eyes _ . Not fear or desperation in them. Just… resignation. Acceptance. Like this was all she deserved.

Adora lets out a shaky sigh.

Quickly, think about something else, think about something positive. Glimmer and Perfuma have been getting along nicely, despite the weirdness between them after princess prom. Apparently Glimmer spoke to her at the winter solstice dance and apologized, and Adora is really glad that she's working on her insecurities, and now her thoughts are circling back to the dance, and kissing Catra on the balcony, and how she'll probably never get to do that again, and  _ dammit _ there's that image again.

She stops walking and practices the mindfulness exercise that Perfuma taught her. Deep breaths, in and out, counting the seconds for each inhale and exhale. Let the thoughts drift by. Listen to the sounds of the woods. A bird chirping in a nearby tree. The light rustling of the leaves in the gentle mid-afternoon breeze. Just enjoy the stillness of the day. She stands there for a few minutes, letting her mind calm down. It's so quiet. Quiet enough for her to hear it.

It all happens in a moment.

The faint noise of dry leaves crunching underfoot, then the telltale crackle of energy, and in an instant she throws herself to the ground as three different stun-gun bolts rip through the air over her head, each coming from a different direction. She scrambles to her feet, sprints forward to get out of the middle where she's surrounded. Two more bolts barely miss her, close enough to feel the electric crackling in the air as they pass by. Dammit, she could really use her shield right now, but the sword of protection lies uselessly in her room in Brightmoon.

She runs, sparing a fleeting glance back over her shoulder as she dodges to the side to avoid another bolt. Two Horde soldiers with face-covering helmets and full combat gear, and behind them… Well, at least she knows Catra is alive.

Not exactly a happy reunion.

She weaves her way through the foliage at a full sprint, cutting back and forth between trees to break the line of sight and make a clean shot impossible. She doesn't look back, but she can hear the sound of their footsteps following close behind. Her mind whirls. There's no way she can outrun them, Catra is faster than her. Quick, think, think, think. How do you get out of this Adora, what's the plan?

She cuts hard to the right, hoping beyond hope that her memory is correct and she's as close as she thinks she is. Pours everything she has into keeping up this pace just a little longer, just a little farther. She bursts through a tangle of foliage and finds herself right at the edge of a deep ravine with a small river running through it. Sometimes, hope is rewarded.

She takes a flying leap off the edge and plummets down the precipitous drop into the ravine, plunging into the freezing water.

The current isn't that strong here, but still it tumbles and spins her under the water, leaving her dizzy and breathless. It slams her against a rock, and bubbles fly out of her mouth as she cries out in pain. Hands scramble to gain purchase on the mossy stone and she pulls herself above water, clinging to the rock to hold herself steady. Air enters her lungs in sputters and gasps.

Once Adora catches her breath she tilts her gaze upward to the top of the cliff. Catra stands tall, flanked by even more Horde soldiers than before, six in total. They lock eyes. Catra's lips curl up into a sneer, and she mutters something to the soldiers behind her. They split up, three moving upstream along the clifftop, three moving downstream. Catra holds Adora's gaze for another moment before turning around and melting back into the foliage of the woods, out of sight.

Adora takes a deep breath and lets go of the rock, letting the current carry her downstream.

She lets the river carry her for as long as she can bear before the frigid water becomes too much and she drags herself onto a mossy bank. The sun warms her, and she stays long enough to help dispel her shivering before disappearing into the woods. Every sense is on high alert, hunting for the sound of footsteps, the sound of a blaster charging, paranoid and on edge.

She racks her brain, trying to think of a plan. There's too many of them to fight without a sword. She needs to get back to Brightmoon, but she had to run in the opposite direction, and there's seven enemies between her and her destination. Is there any way forward? No, Madame Razz is out here somewhere but that won't be enough, and she doesn't want to endanger the old lady anyway. There's the Crystal Castle, but without the sword there's no way to get in.

_ Dammit. _

How did they even know she would be out here? Have they been spying on her? Have they been spying on Brightmoon? Glimmer and Angella need to know, she needs to get to them so they know they're not secure. She has to go back. She has to get past them.

Her footsteps are careful and quiet as she creeps nervously through the forest, trying to make her way back. This area of the woods is not familiar, but she knows if she heads east she'll reach the edge of the woods eventually, so she goes by the sun, caught in brief glimpses through the canopy. Progress is torturously slow, stopping often to listen for her pursuers. Time seems to stretch and distort around her, each moment charged with nervous energy. She has no idea how much time is passing, it all seems too surreal. She creeps along the underbrush beside a wide, open clearing with a few jumbled boulders in the center.

Without even the slightest sound to warn her of its coming, a jolt of energy surges through her body as a stun baton is pressed into her back, and she collapses to the ground with a cry of pain. Before she can unlock her spasming limbs, a clawed hand grabs her by the ponytail and pulls her up to her feet, another hand grabbing her arm and twisting it around until it is pinned against her back. The hands shove her forward, planting her face directly into a nearby tree and holding her against the bark.

“You humans have such awful hearing, it’s pathetic” Catra hisses in her ear. It takes a moment for Adora’s jaw muscles to free themselves from the stun and begin to move again.

“How the hell did you know where I was Catra?” Adora demands, “Have you been spying on me? Why?” 

“Well, the mighty She-Ra has been suspiciously absent from the rebellion’s forces for the last two months. You’re obviously planning something, and I intend to find out what it is.” The grip on her arm tightens and she winces in pain.

“There’s no plan.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Catra growls, shoving her face harder into the bark of the tree, “I know you, you wouldn’t drop your self-important hero act for no reason.”

“There’s. No. Plan.”

Catra snarls, and her grip tightens until her claws are digging into Adora’s skin before relenting. “It doesn’t matter,” she declares, “either you tell me what you’re up to now, or I drag you back to Hordak and his interrogators force it out of you. I’m getting what I want no matter what, you can’t stop me.” Adora doesn’t respond for a moment. Then, a low chuckle escapes her throat, before growing into a full-on laugh. It turns strained as Catra twists her arm harder. “What’s so funny, princess?”

“You really have no idea. You really, actually, have no idea, do you?”

“Enlighten me.” Catra hisses.

“Gods, I’m so happy you’re alive.” The words flow freely out of Adora’s throat, still in a half-chuckle. She can’t see Catra’s face, but immediately the grip on her arm loosens. “I was pretty sure you were, you’re the toughest person I know, but there was so much blood, I didn’t know if you would make it.” The grip comes back harder than ever, and her face scrunches up from the pain.

“Yeah, and that’s  _ my _ excuse for being out of commission for months, now please, enlighten me, what’s  _ yours _ ?” 

“Because I wounded you so badly that it took you two months to recover, that’s why.” Adora states plainly.

“What?”

“You saw what happened, I lost control of She-Ra. I almost  _ killed _ you. I’m not letting that happen ever again. If I can’t control her, she doesn’t get to stick around.” There’s a long, pregnant pause. Catra doesn’t say anything, but her hands leave Adora’s arm and head, and she takes a step back. Adora turns to face Catra, rolling her shoulder to help ease the soreness. Catra’s gaze is searching, piercing, as she stares directly into Adora’s eyes.

“Why didn’t you do it?”

“You know exactly why I didn’t kill you, Catra.”

“Dammit Adora, I told you to cut that out!” Catra snaps, “You still haven’t accepted it, have you? If you don’t kill me, I’m going to end up killing you. We don’t have a choice.”

“Yes we do.”

“No, we don’t!”   


“Yes, we do. I’m making it right now. I chose not to kill you at Salineas. I’ve chosen not to turn into She-Ra, because I know she might kill you. You’re not pinning me against that tree anymore, I could rush you right now and try to fight back, but I’m choosing not to.” Adora folds her arms in front of her, holds her head high, and meets Catra’s eyes with steel in her gaze. “We do have a choice, and this is mine: I’m not going to fight you anymore. That’s what I choose.”

Catra stares at her intently, face twisted into an annoyed frown. She starts to walk slowly, stalking around Adora in a lazy circle. Adora turns with her, keeping their eyes locked the entire time. Eventually, Catra seems to make some sort of decision, because she takes two quick, decisive steps forward towards Adora and puts her hand around her throat, not squeezing tight enough to choke, but digging her claws in enough to draw pinpricks of blood from Adora’s neck.

“And what if I choose something different, hmm?” Her voice is a deadly whisper. “What if my decision is to tear out your throat, right here and now?”

“Then this is where I die.” 

“You’re putting your life in my hands, princess. Do you really think that’s a good idea?”

Adora meets Catra’s intensity with steadfast resolve. Her eyes are hardened, but her voice is soft and open as she speaks.

“I trust you.”

Catra’s eyes go wide and she pushes Adora away from her with a rough shove towards the center of the clearing. “Don’t you dare say that to me.” Catra hisses at her. She steps forward and shoves Adora back again, harder this time. “Fight back.” She demands as Adora stumbles back a few steps.

“No.” Adora’s voice is low and determined. Catra’s face  _ twists _ , and she pushes forward even harder this time, enough to send Adora careening to the ground.

“Fight back!” She shouts. Adora slowly gets back to her feet, her calm, steady gaze locked with Catra’s furious one.

“ _ No. _ ”

“Dammit, Adora, stop being an idiot and fight back!” Catra slashes at Adora with her claws. Adora raises an arm to protect her face, grunting in pain as Catra slices parallel lines of blood into her upper arm. When she speaks again, her voice is less steady, her voice wavering from the burning sting of the wound, but no less determined.

“I made my choice Catra. Make yours.”

Something in Catra snaps. With a guttural howl she flings herself at Adora, assaulting her with a flurry of claws. Adora shields herself the best she can with her arms, but it isn’t enough to protect her. Catra cuts long gashes in both of her arms, across her shoulders, along her sides. She punches Adora soundly in the gut three times, forcing her to double over before grabbing her by the ponytail and flinging her to the ground, her upper body slamming into a low boulder in the center of the clearing. Catra leaps on top of her and keeps slashing and cutting and Adora is insensate with pain and blood and claws.

“This isn't how it’s supposed to be!” Catra screams as she keeps hacking and ripping at Adora, “You can’t just  _ give up _ !” Her eyes are wild and her voice is a bestial howl. “You can’t just lie down and let me beat you! It isn’t fair!” Adora struggles to keep protecting her face, but Catra grabs both of her wrists and wrenches her arms out of the way. “You were supposed to be the one who  _ wins _ !”

The confession cuts through the haze of pain, and that image is in her brain again. Catra’s eyes as she awaited her death at Adora’s blade, resigned, welcoming, no fear, only acceptance. And then Catra’s claws come down on Adora’s face and the vision in her right eye goes completely black. Blood pours down the side of her face, and she screams in agony.

The moment is suddenly quiet, Catra’s labored panting and Adora’s broken sobs the only sounds that can be heard. Catra places her hand directly Adora’s throat, angled up so that her palm faces Adora’s chin, claws digging lightly into the skin, ready to rip out her throat at a moment’s notice.

“Why didn’t you just kill me when you had the chance?” Catra asks. All of the anger in her voice is gone, and all of a sudden she sounds impossibly small.

“I won’t… I won’t hurt... the people I love.” Adora chokes out haltingly, her voice weak and ragged. “That’s not… who I am.”

There is a long moment where Catra says nothing. She remains still as a statue, the sharp prick of her talons pressing insistently at Adora’s neck. Adora can tell that Catra is staring into her eyes, but her vision is blurry, and she can’t make out her expression.

The hand at her throat tenses ever so slightly, and Adora’s breath hitches.

She tries desperately to make out Catra’s face through the haze in her vision, but she does not succeed. Catra takes a long slow breath, in, out, and the hand retreats from Adora’s throat.

“Me neither.” 

Adora smiles - a small smile, but a victorious one. She closes her eyes, and lets out a shuddering breath before she speaks.

“I know.”

The words shatter Catra’s introspection, and she scrambles forward, taking Adora’s head in her hands, touching the blood on her face with her fingers. She pulls Adora up towards her and cradles her upper body in her arms.

“Oh gods.” She exclaims, sounding panicky and scared, “Oh gods what did I do, I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

“I’ll live.” Adora chuckles, but it comes out more like a cough. Catra hugs her tightly, hands shaking. Wet tears seep into Adora’s shirt from where Catra has buried her face in the crook of her neck, rocking her slowly back and forth.

“I’m so sorry Adora, I’m so sorry.” She sobs, voice cracking and hitching and breaking, and Adora is pretty sure that there are tears of her own mixing with the blood on her face. They stay like that for a long moment, Catra rocking Adora back and forth and repeating those words over and over, almost desperately, as if Adora will stop believing her if she stops saying it. Adora tries to hug her back, but her arms are weak and bloody, so she just relaxes in the warmth of Catra’s embrace. Eventually Catra pulls away, and Adora’s vision has cleared enough to see the heartstopping look in her eyes, face wet with tears. She reaches out and wipes some of the wetness away with her thumb before cradling Catra’s face in her hand.

“You don’t have to come with me if you don’t want. You don’t have to join the rebellion if that’s not-”

“Shut up Adora.” Catra chokes out, and they both let out a noise that’s half-laugh and half-sob. “We’ll figure it out. We’ll figure something out.” Adora nods, and Catra brushes back a strand of wet blonde hair that was stuck to her face, leaning in to plant a kiss in the center of her forehead. “We’ll figure it out.” She mutters again, pulling Adora’s head in to rest in the crook of her neck. Her warm, familiar scent eases Adora’s frazzled nerves, and she sighs deeply.

Catra tenses up suddenly.

“Did you hear that?” She whispers, and Adora shakes her head against Catra’s shoulder. “I think I heard…  _ shit _ , the rest of my squad is still out there, I think I hear them coming.” She pulls away, setting Adora down gently before rising to her feet and standing very still, ears twitching as she strains to hear. “They’re coming.” Her voice is all business now, sharp and focused, and Adora stares up at her, her pain-addled mind taking longer than normal to grasp the situation. Catra paces back and forth, tail swishing.

“We need a plan.”

“What do you think I’m doing, genius?” Catra reflexively responds, and Adora almost laughs. No matter what happens, Catra is always the same.

“We need to get back to Brightmoon.” Adora says, but Catra waves her off with a dismissive gesture.

“There’s no way you’re making it past them in your state, and I can’t be fast enough or quiet enough if I have to carry you.”

“It’s the only option we have, there’s no-”

“Just shut up and let me think, Adora!” Catra snaps. Adora can hear it now, the sound of a Horde skiff making its way through the woods. They don’t have long. Catra’s pacing intensifies, and then she suddenly stops, and becomes completely still. Her ears twitch. The sound of the skiff grows closer. She grimaces, and turns to Adora with an apologetic expression on her face.

“Catra, I don’t like that look.” Adora says. Catra walks back up to her, leans over, takes her face in her hands, and kisses her hard on the lips. Adora sighs into the kiss, her eyelids fluttering. When Catra pulls away, her brow is knotted with concern.

“I have a plan.”

“Catra, why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because if this plan doesn’t work, you’re going to be very angry with me.” The sound of the skiff is louder, it is almost upon them now. Catra gives Adora one more passionate kiss, then grabs her by the scruff of her neck and pulls her roughly to her feet. She walks forward, dragging Adora along with her on shaking, unsteady legs, as the skiff pierces through the trees and enters the clearing. Catra pulls her along as she approaches the soldiers. Adora can hear them murmuring to each other at the sight of the rebellion’s greatest warrior bloody and defeated.

“Turn that skiff around, we’re heading back,” Catra commands triumphantly, “and send a message along to Lord Hordak, I need to see him as soon as possible.” She glances briefly at Adora, and a wicked smile crosses her face. “Tell him I’ve captured She-Ra.”


	9. Rescue Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora has been taken prisoner in the Fright Zone, and Catra goes to the princess alliance to enlist their help in rescuing her. They are short on time, short on options, and something about Catra’s story isn’t quite adding up.

It is Spring in Brightmoon, and the air is thick with the smell of freshly-blooming flowers and petrichor. Two guards patrol lazily around the perimeter of the woods, making idle chit-chat as they keep an eye out. One of them nudges the other, cutting her off, and points to a shape emerging from the woods. They stare at it, trying to make out what it is from a distance. A humanoid figure, dressed in all red. They share a quick glance, before both drawing their swords and turning to face the figure as it approaches. As it gets closer, more detail becomes visible. It’s a magicat, and  _ definitely _ a Horde soldier. A bright green pin is visible on their lapel. Their gait is made lopsided by a slight limp.

“Halt!” One of the guards calls out, raising his sword higher. The magicat stops, and holds their hands up in the air. “If you are armed, drop your weapons now, Horde soldier!” He takes a few steps closer, and is able to make out that the magicat is a woman, and apparently an injured one at that. Her uniform is singed on the side, and she is sporting a nasty-looking black eye. She slowly brings a hand down to her belt, removes a standard-issue Horde stun baton from its holster, and lightly tosses it to the ground at the guard’s feet. Her hand returns to where it was held above her head earlier. When she speaks, her voice is proud and her head is held high.

“My name is Catra. Force captain of the Horde. Second in command to Lord Hordak. And I’m going to need to talk to your queen.”

* * *

 

Adora groans in pain as she slams into the ground face-first. Her cheek is pressed against the cold metal of the Fright Zone, a familiar and unwelcome sensation. A clawed hand grabs her by the ponytail and yanks her up to her knees. She stares straight ahead at the figure in front of her.

“I’ve brought back a prisoner, Lord Hordak.” Catra’s smug voice echoes from behind her.

He’s shorter than Adora expected, but the icy look in his eyes is inescapable, and it leaves her feeling more intimidated than she thought she would be. She pants ragged breaths and meets his gaze with unwavering resolve. Those cold eyes skim over her, appraising, calculating, considering her like a piece on a chessboard. Then, they flick up above her.

“Well done captain,” he praises with a flat, uninterested voice, “but since she is here alive, I assume you were unable to obtain the information I asked for.” The grip in Adora’s hair tightens, and she winces.

“No, she told me what I need to know. There was no plan. Our little princess here lost control of She-Ra during the battle of Salineas, and was too afraid to transform into her again.”

Hordak hums in consideration. “And you believe her?”

“Please, I’ve known her my whole life, she can’t lie to me. Besides, I saw her lose control at Salineas, and letting her friends down because of a petty little crisis of conscience is just like her, isn’t it Adora?” She pulls Adora’s head back so that her neck is craned back and she can see Catra’s face smirking down at her. Adora can barely breathe from this position, and she closes her eyes and grits her teeth until Catra loosens her grip and her head cants forward again. Adora sucks in deep, labored breaths, and stares at Hordak with furrowed brows. Hordak doesn’t react to her glare, just stares at her, emotionless and unimpressed.

“If that’s the case, why did you bring her here captain? You were instructed to kill her as soon as you obtained the information I asked for.”

“Because I have an idea, and I think you’re going to like it.”

* * *

 

Silence falls over the war room as the guards bring Catra in, hands bound together behind her back. Queen Angella stands there, leaning over the table, along with Bow, Glimmer, Perfuma, and Frosta. Their conversation falls silent, as they look up from the holographic map projection on the table they had been poring over. They stare at her, wide-eyed.

“Your majesty, we found her at the edge of the-”

“I can speak for myself.” Catra growls at him. He opens his mouth to raise an objection, but the queen stills his protest with a raised hand.

“Thank you, but your presence won’t be necessary. We will speak with her.”

After the guards leave the room, somewhat hesitantly, there is a long, awkward silence, as the princesses and the queen wait for her to speak. Their eyes pin her like a specimen put on display.

“I need your help.” Catra finally breaks the silence.

“That’s quite bold of you to ask, given your past behavior.” Frosta glares at her. 

“We can’t trust her!” Perfuma pipes in.

“I agree, just because Adora trusts her doesn’t mean that  _ I _ do.” Glimmer glares.

“Guys, maybe we should just hear her out.” Bow timidly pipes in.

“What has she ever done to earn that, Bow?” Glimmer snaps at him.

“Your majesty, she has proven herself to be a liar and a sneak in the past, we shouldn’t even allow her back here where she can see the details of our defences.” Frosta says.

“Exactly!” Glimmer agrees, getting increasingly agitated. The princesses descend into heated bickering, their voices rising louder and louder. Catra just watches with a raised brow, taking in the chaos.

“Quiet!” Angella’s voice booms out over them all, and immediately the room falls silent. Catra fights the urge to laugh at them, but the sight of the queen shuts her up. Her wings are outstretched, and seeing her in person for the first time, Catra realizes that she is much taller and more imposing than she expected. Her wings fold back into place behind her, and she regards Catra warily. “Explain yourself.”

“Adora has been captured, she’s been taken back to the Fright Zone as a prisoner.”

“What! What happened?” Glimmer cries out. “Mom, we have to get her back, we can’t just leave her there.”

“Glimmer.” Angella’s tone is stern, chastising, and Glimmer falls silent. The queen returns her gaze to Catra, and motions for her to proceed.

“I’m here because I need your help getting her back. I… I changed my mind. They were going to kill her, and I realized that I don’t… I don’t want that.” She stares at the floor, suddenly bashful. “I tried to save her, I tried to stop them, but…” She gestures down at her body, at her numerous injuries. “There were too many of them, I had to run. This was the only place I could think to go.”

“We have to help her mom!”

“How do we know that you’re telling the truth?” Frosta demands.

“When did this happen? How long ago did they take her back?” Angella asks.

“Just a few hours ago.” Catra responds. “She was out walking in the woods and we ambushed her.” Angella hums in consideration.

“Adora did tell me that she was planning to go for a walk earlier today.” Perfuma offers, “She’s been doing that a lot lately, she said it helps her use the mindfulness exercises I taught her. Oh, I hope she’s alright.”

“Oh yeah, she’s doing just peachy. She only got beaten and captured and dragged back behind enemy lines, I’m sure she’ll be right as rain.” Catra’s voice is venomous, and it makes Perfuma flinch away from her.

“And who’s responsible for that?” Frosta accuses her with a stony glare.

“Hey, who decided to let the toddler sit at the grown-up’s table?” Catra asks the rest of them with mocking sincerity. Frosta balls her hands into fists, and tiny spiderwebs of ice criss-cross the floor around her feet.

“You’re not very good at this whole diplomacy thing, are you?” Bow asks.

“We don’t have time for this!” Glimmer exclaims, “Adora needs our help!”

“How long do we have?” Angella asks quietly.

“Not long. A day, at most. They’ll interrogate her to try and figure out what your plans are, and once they get what they want, they’ll kill her on the spot. They’re not going to mess around with ransom like they did for sparkles here, she’s too important for that.” Glimmer bristles, but Angella cuts her off with a glare before she can snipe back.

“I say we listen to her,” Perfuma begins, sounding hopeful, “Our friend needs help. The universe has brought Catra to us in our hour of need, it would be foolish to throw that aside.”

“The universe didn’t bring me here, I brought  _ myself _ here.” Catra snaps at her, “There’s no such thing as fate, princess. We all have to make our own choices. This was my choice.” Angella’s eyes go wide.

“Why should we trust anything that you say?” Frosta demands. “You have proven yourself a liar in the past, and you’ve taken advantage of our trust before.”

“You’re telling the truth, aren’t you?” Angella says in a soft voice - not even really a question, but a statement of fact. “I used those same words when I spoke to Adora after the battle of Salineas. I do not believe it to be coincidence that you used them now. Adora said that to you when you saw her, didn’t she?” Catra averts her eyes, looking suddenly self-conscious.

“Yeah, pretty much. She… she refused to defend herself against me. Said that she didn’t want to hurt me. That was her choice.”

“And this is yours…” Angella murmurs. Catra nods softly.

“She means a lot to you, doesn’t she Catra?” Bow asks. Catra goes stiff, and her hands clench into fists in their bindings.

“We’re wasting time. Just hurry up and make your decision before your friend ends up getting offed in some dark, crappy cell because you were too busy being sentimental.”

“We can’t just leave her there mom, please, I know it’s dangerous, but we have to do this.” Glimmer pleads. Angella sighs.

“I trust Adora’s judgment, and Adora trusts Catra. I will sanction this mission if you wish.” Glimmer immediately grabs her in a tight hug.

“Thank you mom!”

“I would prefer if the rest of the alliance could be here, but they’re all in Salineas helping with repairs. There’s no way they’ll get here in time.”

“We can handle this your majesty,” Bow confidently states, “they got our friend, and we’re not gonna let anything stop us from bringing her back!”

“I’m… I’m still not as sure about this as you all are, but I trust your judgment. You can count on me.” Frosta says. Perfuma nods. When she speaks, her voice is solemn, and more grave than the others have ever heard her.

“No princess left behind.”

* * *

 

“Let me hear this idea of yours.” Hordak gestures for Catra to continue.

“Killing She-Ra will stop her from interfering with our plans anymore, but at this point I think the damage is already done. She hasn’t been around in two months, and the rebellion is gaining ground even without her. If we get rid of her and stay the course, I don’t think we’re winning. Playing it safe only works when you’re already ahead, this is the time for taking risks.” Catra explains, releasing her hold on Adora’s ponytail to gesture animatedly and pace back and forth. Hordak doesn’t say anything, so she continues.

“We have her captured, and what happened last time we had one of the princesses captured? They broke into the Fright Zone to rescue her.” Adora’s eyes go wide when she realizes where this is going.

“Keep them out of this Catra!” Adora demands, but Catra just laughs and takes Adora’s chin in her hand, tilting her head up to meet her eyes.

“I don’t really think you’re in a position to be making demands, do you?”   


“If you’ll recall, captain,” Hordak interrupts her taunting, “the last time we captured one of them, their rescue attempt was  _ successful _ . I’m not interested in letting our most powerful enemy go free.”

“That’s where I come in,” Catra explains, “we need them to come to the Fright Zone, but we need to control their approach. I go to Brightmoon, and I tell them that Adora has been captured, and that I’m defecting, and I want to help them rescue her. They already know about my old… attachments. They would buy my motive, that I couldn’t bear to watch my old friend die.”

“And you lead the doomed rescue mission directly into a trap.” Hordak completes her train of thought for her. 

“Don’t you dare Catra! You can’t do this to them!” Adora surges with anger and tries to struggle to her feet, but Catra pushes her back down with a hand squeezed around her throat. Catra brings herself down to Adora’s eye level and brings her face right up close, choking Adora as she stares into her eyes with a look of pure intensity.

“I can and I will, princess.” She hisses, “I’m going to lead your precious friends directly into my trap. I’m going to make you watch as your puny little rebellion crumbles to dust, and there is  _ nothing _ you can do to stop me.”

“Remember your place, captain. This is my decision to make, not yours.” Hordak warns. Catra releases Adora’s throat and springs back to her feet, turning to face him.

“With your permission of course, Lord Hordak.”

Hordak gives the faintest of smiles, but there’s no friendliness in it, only cold, bitter amusement. “You have always shown great initiative, captain. Perhaps one day I’ll decide whether I think that’s a good thing or not.”

“Catra, please, don’t do this,” Adora begs, “I can’t lose them, this isn’t worth it, please, I’m not worth-” Catra shuts her up with a hand clamped painfully tight over her mouth.

“Shut up Adora. Quit trying to play out your little hero fantasy, the grown-ups are talking now.” Her tone brooks no argument. Tears well up in Adora’s eyes, and a single, choked sob comes out, muffled by Catra’s hand.

“Attachments, hmm?” Hordak muses. “You’ll need to put up a kinder facade around the princesses if you want them to actually believe you still have feelings for this girl.”

Catra just chuckles. “I’m a good liar when I want to be.”

“We’ll try your plan, captain. There are a few preparations that we’ll need to take care of beforehand, but first… guards!” He calls out, and a soldier steps in from outside the door. “Escort the princess to the black garnet chamber and keep her restrained.” The guard nods and grabs Adora, pulling her along with him. With her mouth no longer covered, she cries out in desperation.

“Catra, please, don’t do this, please, stop!” The guard drags her along, unaffected by her weak attempts to struggle against his grasp.

“See you later princess.” Catra laughs, and Adora can do nothing as the guard drags her through the door, and it slides shut behind them.

* * *

 

Catra crouches behind the low wall next to Bow, Perfuma, and Glimmer, peeking her eyes ever so slightly around the side to catch a glimpse of what’s going on. They’re about twenty feet from the entrance to the building, and there are several guards in front. She watches Frosta, who creeps unnoticed over to a sewer manhole in front of the next building over. After lifting the cover up, she reaches her hands out into it, and wisps of ice magic travel from her fingers into the sewer below. Catra can’t see the result, but she knows what it is - the sewer is completely blocked off with ice. Frosta replaces the manhole cover and sneaks over to rejoin the rest of them.

They don’t have to wait long. Water flow in those sewers is fast and constant, and before long disgusting sewer water is gushing out through the cracks of the door of the next building over, the water unable to escape and instead rising and pooling in the building itself. The guards all look over and shout to each other. They turn back and open the door, calling out to yet more guards inside, who run outside and join them as they all sprint over towards the source of the commotion. The door closes behind them, unguarded, but still locked.

“Chumps.” Catra snickers under her breath.

“Let’s just focus.” Glimmer mutters, waiting for all the guards to get clear before she vanishes in a puff of pink light. Seconds later the door opens again, unlocked from the inside, as Glimmer gestures for the rest of them to hurry up. They all take one look over to make sure the guards are thoroughly distracted before sprinting across the open ground in between their cover and the door. They close it behind them and make their way quickly through the halls.

“I must say, this entire process is much less complicated when you have someone who can teleport.” Perfuma muses.

“Yeah, well hopefully this time you won’t leave someone behind.” Catra snipes at her, and Perfuma’s face falls.

“Catra’s just being mean because she’s stressed, don’t listen to her.” Bow reassures her.

“I’m being mean because I’m a mean person, Bow, I thought you’d figured that out by now.”

“I don’t think you’re mean.” Bow pouts.

“Then clearly you don’t know me very well.”

“I dunno, from what Adora told me, it sounds like you can be  _ very _ sweet when you want to be.” Glimmer cuts in with a smirk. Catra’s face flushes, and she opens her mouth to give a defensive retort when Frosta cuts them all off.

“Be quiet. Now isn’t the time for chatting, we have a job to do.” They continue through the halls, moving as fast as they dare, until Catra stops them, pointing towards a vent grate on the ground. Perfuma summons some vines to stretch around the grate a tug it off, and they all crawl into the tiny space one at a time, Catra going in front to lead the way.

Catra follows the route that she memorized, leading them through the twisting maze of the Fright Zone’s ventilation system. They crawl through for almost ten minutes before they find the spot they’re looking for. Catra peers through a grate leading out to a hallway. At the end of the hallway lies an open door, and through it, the pulsating red glow of the black garnet is visible. Two guards stand watch, one on each side of the door.

Catra carefully takes off the grate and slips out into the hall, ducking behind a pillar. She looks at Perfuma’s head poking out of the vent, and gestures towards the guards. Perfuma nods. She extends her hand, and vines whip out of nowhere, ripping off the guards’ helmets, gagging them, and tying them up, before dragging them over into a small nook behind a big piece of machinery where they won’t be seen.

“C’mon ladies… and Bow. We have a princess to save.” Catra smirks, and sprints down the hall and into the black garnet chamber, the others following a little ways behind.

And there she is. Adora. Strapped down to the same interrogation table that Shadow Weaver has used the last time she was here, tilted upright into its ‘standing’ position. She hangs limp in her restraints. The rise and fall of her chest shows that she is still alive, but everything else about her shows that she might not be for much longer. Barely anything was done to treat her wounds, and she looks pale and sickly from blood loss. She’s covered in countless cuts and gashes from Catra’s assault in the forest, and her breathing is weak and shaky. The others gasp when they see her condition, coming to a stop inside the chamber.

“Those are clawmarks! What did you do to her?” Glimmer cries out furiously, hands balled into fists.

“Can it, sparkles” Catra growls. She ambles over to a small wooden workbench in the corner of the room and hops up onto it, sitting down with her legs swinging freely over the side. “By the way, you might want to watch your step.” And then, Catra presses a small, red button on the table. The black garnet glows, and the machines around it hum with power.

A powerful surge of magical energy pulses through the floor, and Bow and the princesses scream in pain. It happens so suddenly, and the power of the stun-pulse is so strong, that Glimmer doesn’t even have a chance to respond or teleport away before she’s collapsed on the floor with all of the others. The energy courses through her body relentlessly, and she can’t focus her mind enough to use her powers, to do  _ anything _ . Catra just stares down at them, safe on her perch, a sinister grin on her face.

“Catra…” Glimmer strains out through gritted teeth, fighting to gain control of herself, but it’s useless. Her vision blurs and starts to fade. The last thing she hears before she goes unconscious is Catra’s smug laugh.

* * *

 

Entrapta’s lab is not a mess. It just appears that way. Entrapta knows where everything is in the jumble, stored away in the convoluted maze of her own memory. Despite the piles of metal and circuits and junk piled all around the room, she is able to pick out exactly what she needs, soldering it in place on the small, electronic chip she’s hunched over at her main workbench. She’s so absorbed in her work that she doesn’t even notice when Catra walks into the room.

“I know that we needed to make it look like I got in a fight, but this was just unnecessary.” Catra grumbles, mostly to herself. Entrapta turns to look at her, and sees her right eye purple and swollen, and her uniform singed on the side, as if from a blaster shot.

“Catra! I’ve just finished the device that Hordak asked me to build!” Entrapta chirps, ignoring Catra’s deliberately-obtained injuries. “It’s simple, really, a primitive version of the sound-activated tech I use for my robots.” She holds up her project for Catra to examine. The small chip she was working on is completed, and fixed in place discreetly inside the ear of Catra’s usual headpiece. Catra takes it from her and looks it over, brushing her finger over it.

“So anything that we say, Hordak will be able to hear it?” Catra asks quietly.

“Precisely. Its effective range is somewhat smaller than your hearing, but it should be superior to human ears. Anything that you say or that the people around you say will be transmitted directly back to Lord Hordak’s personal computer.”

  
“So he can ‘glean additional tactical information’, he claims,” Catra grumbles, “What a diplomatic way to say he doesn’t trust me enough to do this without being watched.”

“Technically he won’t be watching you. Just listening.” Entrapta provides, her chipper tone completely at odds with Catra’s complaining. Catra’s eyes dart back and forth for a moment, scanning the room.

“And is he listening now?”

“Oh, no, no, I haven’t activated the device yet, I’ll do that before you leave.” Entrapta explains. Catra opens her mouth to say something, but closes it before any words come out. She closes her eyes and sighs deeply. She fixes the headpiece in place, sweeping her hair back behind it.

“Entrapta, do you trust me?”

“Of course I do, you’re my friend!”

“I… I need your help.”

Entrapta cocks her head to the side quizzically. “You’re having difficulty meeting my gaze, you’re fidgeting more than usual, and your voice is unusually quiet. All of the signs in your body language and posture suggest that you’re nervous. Why are you nervous?”

“Because the thing that I need your help with is going to be dangerous. And also… and also because I lied to you.”

“But… why would you lie to me? You’re my friend, aren’t you?” Entrapta’s voice is soft, her typical excited cheerfulness gone.

“I am your friend, I just, shit…” Catra closes her eyes and pinches the bridge of her nose. “I’m not good at this Entrapta. You are my friend, I… I promise. But I lied to you, and now I’ve messed everything up, and gods, I hope you aren’t too mad at me after this, because I need your help.”

“Catra, you’re scaring me. What is happening?”

“I’ll get to that, Entrapta. But first, I need to tell you the truth.”

* * *

 

When Glimmer comes to, vision hazy, ears ringing, the only thing she can see at first is red. She blinks the blurriness out of her eyes, and takes stock. She’s lined up next to Bow and the rest of the princesses. A field of bright red magical energy surrounds them, and her heart sinks with a dreadful feeling of familiarity.

Her body surges with magical power, trying to teleport out of the magical field, but all it brings is a burning, electric pain that sears through her entire body until she screams. She pants with exertion and stares up at Catra with unbridled fury. Catra just smirks at her, arms folded across her chest. Behind her, the monitors on the wall light up, and Lord Hordak stares down at them from behind the screens.

“Lord Hordak,” Catra turns to him, and then gives an exaggerated bow and a sweeping gesture towards the princesses, “I deliver to you: the princess rebellion, as promised.” Hordak’s lips curl into the slightest of smiles.

“Well done, captain.” He turns his attention to the princesses themselves. “You may think of yourselves as heroes, but all you have ever been is a nuisance to me. With this defeat, your pathetic rebellion will be crushed, and I will take my rightful place as ruler of all Etheria.”

“You will never win, Hordak.” Glimmer grunts through the pain, “Now give me back my friend!” Hordak simply laughs. An empty, mirthless laugh, crueler and colder than any sound Glimmer has heard in her life.

“Your optimism would be almost admirable, were it not so foolish. Catra, dispose of them. I want to watch the rebellion die.” Catra’s face splits into a wicked grin, and she takes a blaster from a table on the side of the room before walking right up in front of Glimmer and pointing it at her face.

“You know, I’ve been waiting for this moment for a long time.” She says. Glimmer meets Catra’s eyes with a furious glare, and swallows heavily, waiting for death to arrive.

It does not arrive.

The screens that Hordak’s face was on shut off. The magical containment field shuts off. The door behind them slides closed and locks. The monitoring devices around the black garnet all go dark. The overhead lights turn off, leaving only the crimson glow of the runestone to light the room.

Catra puts a finger over her lips in a shushing gesture, and winks.

“What! What’s going on!” Catra shouts, “Hey! Get back, what are you-agh!” She flings herself against the wall with a loud crash, then bangs her fist against it a few times, making exaggerated grunting noises. Glimmer stares at her, open-mouthed, in abject confusion. Catra pulls her headpiece off and throws it to the floor, and then promptly dives down to the floor herself. “Agh, get off of me you sparkly nightmare!”

Her theatrics continue as she scrambles and claws her way over to the headpiece, making sure to be as loud as possible. The rest of the princesses just stare, too baffled to actually take action. Catra grabs the headpiece and reaches into the ear of it, pulling out a small, gray computer chip.

“What, no! Put that down!” She shouts as she scrambles upright and hovers one of her feet directly above it. “Lord Hordak, the princesses are free! They have She-Ra, they’re heading towards the west exit!” She stomps down with all of her might and crushes the chip beneath her foot, then stomps on it again, and then once more for good measure. Then she sighs, rubs her shoulder, and turns towards the princesses.

“You know, I should have been an actress.” She deadpans, and walks over to where Glimmer is kneeling. “Hordak had a listening device planted on me, I couldn’t exactly tell you the whole plan. Now come on sparkles, we’ve got a princess to save.” She holds her hand out towards Glimmer. Glimmer stares at it for a moment, before looking up into Catra’s eyes. She hesitates, but only briefly, before grabbing the offered hand and letting Catra help her to her feet.

“So what’s the plan?” Glimmer gathers herself enough to ask.

“Duh, we head for the east exit. Now gimme a sec, I gotta get Adora down from this thing. We don’t have long.” Almost on cue, the blaring sound of alarms rings out from outside the room. Catra walks over to where Adora is strapped down, and starts fiddling with the mechanism. “The stupid thing is automatic, it’s a bit hard to open when it’s powered down.” The other princesses all get to their feet, looking back and forth at each other, trying to process everything that’s going on.

“How did you manage to power everything off like that right on time?” Frosta asks. “You didn’t even have access to a control panel when it happened.”

Catra stops for a moment, and opens her mouth to speak, but before she can say anything, her ears perk up, and she just chuckles instead. A heavy metal grate that had been covering one of the vents on the ceiling suddenly falls and slams into the ground with a deafening crash. All of the princesses scream and jump back away from it, but Catra stays totally still, and laughs at them. “Let’s just say I had some help on the inside.”

A blur of purple exits the vent and drops down to the ground, and Entrapta is standing there in front of them, shoulders hunched, hands fidgeting awkwardly.

“H-Hi.” She stammers out with a nervous giggle.

For a long moment, everyone just stares, completely silent.

“Entraptaaaaaaa!” Bow cries and sprints over to her, scooping her up in a crushing bear hug.

“Ah!” She yelps, arms rigid, as the others run over to join in on the hug. Catra just grins and continues her work as they bombard Entrapta with rapidfire questions, one after the other, leaving her almost too overwhelmed to respond. “I-I had thought that you guys had left me behind.” She offers lamely, and they just hug her tighter in response, reassuring her that they would never, ever leave her behind. Eventually they let her go, and Catra glances back to see that there is one person who hasn’t said anything, or even hugged Entrapta at all.

Perfuma stares at Entrapta, who finally notices her gaze, and turns to meet it. Perfuma steps closer to her, eyes wide, as if she can’t believe that what she’s seeing is real. She gets right in front of Entrapta, who fidgets and darts her eyes back and forth under her intense gaze. After a long moment of silence, Perfuma slaps her in the face.

“You were supposed to stay close to me!” She sobs, breaking down into tears and scooping Entrapta up into a tight hug, “Don’t you ever run off on me like that again!” She buries her face into the crook of Entrapta’s neck, holding her as close as she can. Entrapta’s stiff posture loosens, and while she never brings her arms up to return the hug, she wraps her hair around the two of them in an unusual embrace.

“We’ll have time for the touchy-feely crap later, get ready to move!” Catra barks, and the two separate. “Entrapta, where’s Scorpia?” Entrapta’s face falls. She taps the tips of her fingers together.

“She’s not coming.” She mutters. Catra pauses her effort to unlatch the restraints holding Adora down. The others can’t see her face, but they see her go very still. She stays like that for only a few seconds before giving a brusque, clipped response.

“Well she never was very smart, was she? Doesn’t know a good thing when she sees it.” she says as she resumes working on the mechanism in front of her, her motions choppier and more aggressive than before. She gives one more grunt of exertion and the straps holding Adora down pop open.

Adora collapses into her arms, and Catra holds her there, kneeling. She shakes her a little and brushes her hair back behind her ear. “Hey, c’mon princess, wake up.” Catra whispers. Adora stirs to life with a soft groan, blinking heavily. She turns to look at the girl holding her.

“Catra?” Her voice is hoarse and ragged. Catra grins, and brushes her hair back again. She wipes away some of the blood on Adora’s cheek with her thumb.

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“Hey.” Adora murmurs, giving her a tired smile. Catra pauses for a moment, eyes flicking back to where the other princesses are huddled behind her, looking at Adora with concern. Then, she takes Adora’s face in her hands, and presses a gentle, tender kiss directly on her lips, daring the others to say something about it.

They don’t interrupt.

When she pulls away, Adora’s eyelids flutter back open, and they lock eyes.

“C’mon, princess. Let’s get you home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oof, this was a really difficult chapter to write, sorry it’s a few days late. Turns out that writing multiple scenes of action and dialog between 3-6 different characters is, like, hard or something? Wild. Right now my plan is to release chapter 10 on Saturday, and then release the final chapter on Thursday, the day before season 2 comes out. Also, I know it can be a little nerve-wracking when the conflict seems mostly resolved with a few chapters still to go, but I promise I’m not gonna pull the rug out on you - Catra is officially on the side of the good guys. Also, I know y’all have been very patient through these past few chapters of angst and drama, and I promise you’ll get another smut scene by the time the story is over :P


	10. Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and the princesses make it back to Brightmoon, but Adora is badly injured, and they’re unsure if she will survive the night. Glimmer confronts Catra about hurting Adora, and Catra must face the possibility that she might be beyond forgiveness.

“Get out of the way!” Catra barks at the guards to the entrance to Brightmoon, rushing past them as fast as she's able with Adora's limp form cradled in her arms. Adora's breath is shallow and quiet, her skin deathly pale.

“Go down the hallway on the right.” Glimmer instructs from just a few feet behind her, the rest of the squad in tow. The group rushes through the halls of Brightmoon, battered and exhausted from their escape, but not able to rest yet. Not while Adora's life hangs in the balance. At Glimmer's direction, Catra runs down the path to the infirmary, bursting through the doors with a loud bang. The healer jumps back, startled, looking up from his task to see the sudden intruders.

“Time to do your job.” Catra calls out to him as he rushes over and direct Catra to a cot, where she lays Adora down gingerly.

“Her wounds are many, and she’s lost a lot of blood, please, we need to act quickly.” Perfuma says, joining the healer by the side of the cot. “I'm trained as a healer as well, I can assist you.” The two of them immediately get to work, assessing Adora's many cuts and gashes, cleaning off the blood, figuring out what needs to be treated first.

“She's going to need a blood transfusion, as quickly as we can get it to her. Someone get up on the cot, we need a donor, right now.” the healer says as he grabs supplies from a cabinet on the side of the room. Catra immediately hops up on the cot adjacent to Adora's and starts to roll up her sleeves, but he shakes his head as he comes back over. “Not you. Magicat blood isn't the same as human blood, her body would reject it.”

Catra nods and gets back down, allowing Bow to climb up there in her place.

“Is she going to be okay?” Bow asks nervously.

“It's going to be close.” the healer responds bluntly, finding the vein in Bow's arm and inserting the needle. “She's taken a lot of damage. If we can get her stable she should recover, but it's going to be a fight. And no matter what, I'm guessing her eye is completely unrecoverable at this point.”

“What?” Glimmer exclaims.

“Her right eye is  _ gone _ ,” the healer says, “the slash went right through it. She's going to be half-blind, there's nothing I can do about that.”

“Gods…” Glimmer murmurs.

“What  _ happened _ to her? She's completely torn up.” the healer asks. Everyone else immediately turns and stares directly at Catra.

“You still owe us an explanation for this Catra, this is your fault.” Glimmer demands.

“I don't owe you _ anything _ , princess.” Catra hisses back at her, hands clenched into fists.

“We're the only reason she's still alive!” Glimmer stomps over and gets right in Catra's face. “You're the one who got her into this mess in the first place, so if her staying alive is what you wanted, then yes, I'd say you owe us a lot!”

“What do you want, an apology? Because you're not getting one.” Catra snarls. Glimmer shoves her, hard, and Catra stumbles a few steps back before getting in a fighting stance, claws outstretched.

“What are you going to do, claw me half to death too? Adora is my best friend, and you've hurt her more than anyone else in her life, so yes, maybe I would like an apology! Maybe I'd like you to own up to all the awful things you've done to her!”

“Glimmer, calm down!” Bow pleads, shifting from where he lies on the cot, but Perfuma pushes him back down, holding him in place to keep him from moving too much with the needle in his arm.

“No Bow, I will not calm down!” Glimmer roars. She walks up close to Catra again, pushing her index finger hard into her sternum and bringing her face right up close to Catra's, until they're only inches apart.

“You left her behind when she needed you most! You were her best friend, and she had just left everything she'd ever known behind. She needed you then, and you attacked her! You've fought against her over and over again, hurt her over and over again. When she opened up to you and told you how she felt, you led her on. You kissed her on that balcony in Cloudgate and let her hope, just so you could go and break her heart again! You've been nothing but cruel to her,  _ and _ to me! You kidnapped me and Bow! You clawed her eye out! You hurt her so badly that she might die, and you think that that's okay just because you didn't strike the killing blow? That that means everything is forgiven? Well it's not!”

The infirmary sounds deathly quiet after Glimmer’s outburst, the noise of Perfuma and the healer continuing their work seeming to fade into the background. Catra’s eyes flick back and forth. Glimmer, Bow, Entrapta, and Frosta are all staring at her. Perfuma and the healer keep glancing at her over their shoulders as they work. She swallows heavily.

“I don’t need your forgiveness, sparkles.” Catra tries to sound dismissive, but it comes out sounding shaky and pathetic. With one last look into Glimmer’s furious eyes, she turns and storms out of the room, slamming the door closed behind her with a bang.

She stalks through the halls of Brightmoon, hands balled into fists. It’s late enough at night that there isn’t anyone else around, a fact she finds to be both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, there is no one there to interrupt her stewing thoughts. On the other, there is no target for anger, no one to direct this painful swirl of emotions in her chest at. Couldn’t one of the guards bump into her and try to accost her or something like that? At least then she’d have someone to yell at, something to draw the practiced, bitter fury that has always been her specialty. But no. It is just her, just this swollen, painful feeling in her heart.

She has enough self-awareness to know that she’s never been good with emotions. In the Horde, it was a necessity. The world can’t truly hurt you if you never show it who you are. And if you end up being completely emotionally stunted as a result, well then who cares? It’s not like the Horde has ever asked you to be a person. Just a machine. Just a soldier. And machines don’t cry. Soldiers don’t cry. Catra does not cry.

Really, she doesn’t.

She shoves the uncomfortable swirl somewhere deeper in her chest, reinforces the dam, don’t let it through, don’t let it through, gods, don’t let it through. She’s walking faster now, the pace of her footsteps matching the pounding of her heart.

And then she stops. She looks around the unfamiliar hallway, struck by a sudden realization - she has  _ no _ idea where she’s going. The thought almost makes her laugh. It’s not like she has a room of her own, no cadet bunks or force captain quarters to retreat to. Maybe she could go to Adora’s room? No, no way, she doesn’t know where that is, and there’s no force on Etheria that could make her go ask  _ Glimmer _ that question right now.

She has nowhere to go.

A clipped, choked noise, halfway between a laugh and a sob, escapes her lips. It evolves into full on tears, and she clamps her hand tight over her mouth to muffle the noise - a habit from the days of living in crowded cadet bunkrooms that she can’t quite shake. Her back hits the wall of the hallway, and she slides down to the floor, curling her knees up to her chest and burying her face in them. That knot of swirling energy in her chest is escaping in harsh, choking sobs, in the frantic rocking of her body back and forth, in the grip of her hand closing tighter and more painful over her mouth until the claws draw pinpricks of blood from her skin. The same thought repeats in her head, over and over.

She is not forgiven.

She is not forgiven.

She is not forgiven.

Gods, she almost  _ killed _ Adora, they’re not even sure that she’s going to survive the night. This is all her fault, this is her fault, this is her fault. What if Adora dies? What if Adora lives, but still blames her for this? What if Adora forgives her but the others don’t? What if they won’t let her stay? Where will she go? This is not her home, this is not where she belongs, this is not where she’s wanted, and now the Horde doesn’t want her either. Stupid, stupid, stupid, how could she be so damn stupid? She almost killed Adora, and then she left Scorpia behind, and now Entrapta is back with her  _ real _ friends, and she won’t need her anymore, and what the fuck was she  _ thinking _ ?

Catra’s breathing evolves into hyperventilating, her crying evolves into painful hiccupy sobs, and her thoughts are too far afield to even be grateful that there’s no one around to see her like this.

It is the thought of Adora that eventually pulls her out of her spiral. Her mind returns to Adora, hurt, barely alive, sitting there in the infirmary. Adora might need her. She needs to know if Adora’s okay, needs to keep an eye on her, at least until she’s stable. The sense of purpose grounds her, gives her something present and tangible to focus on. It takes a tremendous force of effort to force her breathing back under control, to force away the sobs, but she manages. She’s had practice.

After all, soldiers don’t cry.

* * *

 

“Glimmer, I’m so glad you’re alright!” Queen Angella scoops her daughter up into a tight, protective hug.

“Mom, I’m fine!” Glimmer protests, squirming her way out of the vice grip around her torso. Angella plants her hands onto Glimmer’s shoulders and holds on tight, looking at her face with concern.

“The guards told me you had arrived, and that Adora was hurt, and that  _ Entrapta _ is here, what happened? Is anyone else injured?”

“We’re all okay your majesty,” Bow pipes in, “we’re just worried about Adora, she really took a beating.” Angella moves over towards the cot where Adora is resting, Perfuma and the healer still hard at work stitching up and bandaging her many wounds.

“The universe will not take our friend from us today,” Perfuma declares, with a fierce determination, “we’ve been able to keep her stable. She’s pretty worse for wear, but she’s going to survive.” Angella nods, and breathes a sigh of relief.

“The mission was a success, then. I’m glad. And Entrapta, I was so glad to hear the news that you’re alright, I was devastated when we thought we had lost you.” Entrapta stammers an awkward thank you. Angella looks around the room, meeting the eyes of the princesses with pride. But then, she stops, a confused expression crossing her face. “Where is Catra?” The others look away and shuffle awkwardly, with the exception of Glimmer, who crosses her arms across her chest and huffs loudly.

“The two of us had an argument, and she decided to throw a tantrum and storm off.”

“Glimmer!” Angella accuses.

“What? Look at Adora’s wounds mom, they’re all clawmarks. Catra did this to her! And now she’s getting all pissy at us because we’re maybe a teensy bit upset that she almost killed our friend! Just, agh, she’s infuriating!”

“Glimmer.” Angella reprimands, “I will not allow you to treat her this way while she is a guest in our kingdom. She helped us, at great personal cost to herself, and you will be respectful.”

“Why should I be respectful to her when she refuses to be respectful to us? She refuses to apologize for anything she’s done. It’s like she thinks that helping us rescue Adora fixes everything, forgives her for every awful thing she’s done to us, when she’s the reason Adora needed rescuing in the first place! She hasn’t done  _ anything _ to make up for what she’s done.”

“She’s  _ trying _ , Glimmer!” Angella exclaims, “This is going to be tremendously difficult for her, she’s had to make extraordinary sacrifices to do this! She left behind her entire life to do the right thing, and it is not our place to accuse her of not making that decision quickly enough. No, that doesn’t absolve her of her past actions, but she’s taking the first step, and that requires great courage. She needs our encouragement right now, more than anything. The next time you see her, you are going to apologize to her, do you hear me?”

“Alright, I’ll back off, but I am  _ not _ apologizing to her.”

“ _ Glimmer _ .” Angella warns.

“Whatever, mom, I need to go recharge.” Glimmer huffs and stomps out of the room.

* * *

 

By the time Glimmer returns, Angella has left, and the others are piled in various chairs and cots around the room, in various states of wakefulness. Despite the burst of energy that recharging always gives her, Glimmer is exhausted. The healer is wiping his forehead and putting away supplies, with Perfuma completely passed out on a chair in the corner of the room. When he sees her enter, he gives a tired wave.

“How is she?”

“She’s stable. It’s going to be a difficult recovery, but she’s going to live. We’ve done everything we can for now, so I’m going to get some rest.”

“Of course,” Glimmer nods, “thank you so much.” He smiles.

“Just doing my job.” And with that, he walks out of the room, leaving her surrounded only by her dozing friends. She sighs, and walks over to the huge window along the side of the room, looking out across the cliff beside the castle to the Whispering Woods. The night looks so peaceful from this vantage. She glances over, and something catches her eye. Along the side of Brightmoon itself, there are a number of open-air balconies, and there is a figure standing on one of them. It’s the closest one, a little higher up than the window she’s standing at, providing an excellent view of the infirmary below. The silhouette of a tail is just barely visible behind the figure. Glimmer smiles. Catra’s keeping watch over Adora, in any way she can.

Glimmer nods to herself, as though answering some internal question, and walks away from the window. She plops down onto one of the unoccupied cots, and shuts her eyes, trying to drift off and finally get some rest after a nightmare of a day.

Her mind is halfway towards dreaming when she hears the door to the infirmary open. She blinks the encroaching sleep from her eyes, unsure of how much time has passed since she rested her head. Without moving, she watches as Catra walks into the room, glancing about nervously. Glimmer keeps her breath even and her eyes mostly closed, not wanting to scare her off.

Catra creeps through the room to the side of Adora’s cot. She dips her head down and rests an ear on Adora’s chest, listening to her heartbeat. She listens for a while, head rising up and down with each breath Adora takes. After some time, she appears to be satisfied, and lifts her head up with a deep, relieved sigh. Glimmer watches as she looks around the room, glancing at each of the sleeping figures in turn. Glimmer’s heart leaps in to her chest as she sees how puffy and red her eyes are. If she noticed Glimmer was awake, she gives no indication of it.

Catra turns back to Adora’s sleeping form, gently brushing her hair back with one hand. Glimmer can see the soft, sad smile on her face. She leans down, and places a gentle kiss to Adora’s lips, then presses their foreheads together, hand cradling Adora’s jaw. She stays like that for a few seconds, hand stroking along Adora’s jaw, before pressing one more soft kiss to Adora’s forehead.

“Goodbye princess.” She whispers, so quiet that Glimmer barely hears it at all. And then she stands up straight, takes one last lingering look around the room, and walks out.

* * *

 

Catra walks quickly down the winding staircase that leads away from castle Brightmoon. It is dark out, but her night vision is good enough that she can see the stairs clearly, the sight of them underneath her a blur in her mind. It is a long walk down, but eventually she exits the stairs at the base of the Moonstone tower, walking along the narrow pathway above the water that leads away, towards the Whispering Woods. Towards anything else. Her mind feels empty and numb, and she moves mechanically, automatically, not really paying attention to what’s under her feet. Her reverie is interrupted by a flash of pink directly in front of her. She jumps back and hisses in surprise as Glimmer stands before her, arms crossed, looking unimpressed.

“Going somewhere?” Glimmer asks. Catra scowls at her.

“I’m not about to run back to the Horde, if that’s what you’re worried about. Now get out of my way.” Glimmer’s face softens when she hears that.

“I didn’t… I didn’t think that. I know you wouldn’t do that.”

“Yeah, well, good for you, now move.” She pushes past Glimmer, bumping into her a little more harshly than necessary with her shoulder. She’s stopped when Glimmer teleports directly in front of her again. “Ugh, gods, what do you  _ want _ from me?”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m leaving, alright? I’ll figure out where I’m going once I’m there.”

“Why?”

“I know when I’m not welcome, twinkle-toes. Adora may like me, but that doesn’t mean I belong here.” Catra growls. She tries to push past Glimmer again, but Glimmer plants her hands on her shoulders and holds her back.

“Look, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that stuff, alright?”

“Don’t apologize, you were right.”

“No, I wasn’t! Yeah, I’m mad at you for a lot of the stuff you’ve done, but you’re trying to make it better, and I shouldn’t have yelled at you for that.” Glimmer insists. Catra pauses, no longer pushing against Glimmer, and looks curiously into her eyes.

“That’s not what you were right about sparkles. I don’t care if you forgive me or not, I couldn’t give less of a shit what you think about me.”

“Well then what was I right about?”

“I don’t owe you an explanation, now let me through already.”

“Maybe you don’t owe me an explanation, but you certainly owe Adora one! How do you think she’s going to feel when she wakes up and finds out that the woman she loves just left in the middle of the night?” Glimmer says, and Catra makes an exasperated noise.

“You were right that this was my fault!” Catra shouts, and the words ring through the night air, which seems suddenly far too quiet. Glimmer takes her hands off of Catra’s shoulders. “I hurt her, all I’ve ever done is hurt her! That’s all I do!”

“That isn’t true-” Glimmer protests, but Catra cuts her off.

“Yes it is! It’s not just her, it’s everyone. Things turned out okay with Entrapta, but I lied to her, I told her that you all left her behind, she was heartbroken. And Scorpia, gods, Scorpia, did you hear Entrapta say what happened to her? Entrapta told her we were planning to leave, and she got upset. She didn’t want to leave the Horde, she was going to turn us in. Do you know what Entrapta had to do to her? She had to inject her with a sedative and tie her up! Her best friends in the world, and we drugged her, abandoned her, and left her tied up in a storage closet for hours and hours! This is what happens when I’m friends with people - I hurt them!”

“That wasn’t your fault, she could have chosen to go with you…”

“It’s harder than you think! I’ve been in that position before, and I know  _ exactly _ how betrayed she feels.”

“ _ Catra _ .” Glimmer emphasizes, placing her hands on either side of Catra’s head and holding her steady, looking directly into her eyes. Catra’s eyes flick away nervously, trying to avert her gaze. “You are  _ not _ a bad person. You did something amazing today. And I know you hurt Scorpia, but it isn’t your fault. What was it you said, just before the mission?  We all have to make our own choices. You aren’t responsible for her choice, just like Adora wasn’t responsible for yours when you decided not to come with her in Thaymor. And yeah, you’ve made a lot of stupid choices and hurt a lot of people, but guess what? You can  _ stop _ .”

“That’s what I’m trying to do.” Catra protests weakly.

“And you think that leaving  _ won’t _ hurt Adora? Catra, she doesn’t blame you for all this! She doesn’t want you to earn her forgiveness or to save her from yourself, she just wants  _ you _ ! That’s all she’s ever wanted!”

“Why do you even care?” Catra whispers, scrunching her eyes closed tightly.

“I don’t care about you Catra,” Glimmer says bluntly, “to be honest I think you’re a huge jerk, and I don’t like you very much. But Adora is my best friend, and you mean the world to her. I’ve seen how torn up she’s been, how much she beat herself up after she hurt you at Salineas. I’ve seen how badly she wants to have you back, how much she worried and fretted about you, wondering whether you were okay. Gods, I saw her after the dance in Cloudgate, she was  _ giddy _ with excitement, you made her so happy that night. Please Catra, don’t go. She just wants to be with you.”

Glimmer lets go of Catra’s face, and Catra looks up into the sky. The many moons of Etheria hang full and bright overhead, with only each other for company in the starless night. It’s a beautiful spring evening, the air cool and damp, the slightest of breezes dancing across the water, rippling the reflection of the sky above. Catra breathes deep of the fragrant air, eyes closed. And then she looks ahead, determined, and brushes past Glimmer, walking further down the path. Glimmer nods sadly and fights the urge to shout at her.

“Tell her…” Catra speaks hesitantly, coming to a stop with her back turned to Glimmer. “Tell her I’ll come back.”

“When?”

“I-I don’t know. I think you’re right, but… I still have a lot of things to figure out. I need time to think. But tell her that I promise I’ll come back.” Catra’s voice is shaky, but not uncertain. Glimmer smiles.

“Thank you Catra.”

“Yeah, yeah, just make sure to let her know.” Catra grumbles.

“Where will you go?”

“I’m not sure. I’m going to wander a bit, I think. I’ll figure it out as I go, I just… I think I need to be by myself for a while. You said that I can… that I can stop. Stop hurting people. Well maybe I need to take some time and figure out how to do that. Cuz I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m pretty fucked up right now.”

“I’ll let her know what you said,” Glimmer says, “and  you better stick to that promise, kitty-cat, or I’ll come drag you back myself.”

“I don’t break my promises.” Catra replies. “And don’t you  _ ever _ call me kitty-cat again or I swear to the gods Adora won’t be the only one missing an eye around here.” Glimmer laughs, and walks up to Catra, putting a hand on her shoulder.

“Before you go, let me grab you a few things. You shouldn’t head out into the unknown without some supplies, I’ll grab you a pack. And maybe a change of clothes.” Catra turns and gives her a confused look at that last sentence. “Adora might get away with wearing Horde gear, but that’s because everyone around here knows who she is, and when she travels, she’s always with us, so people know it’s okay. You’re not so lucky. Here, just wait for a minute, I’ll be right back.” Catra nods at her, and she vanishes.

Only a few minutes later Glimmer reappears holding a medium-sized knapsack that appears completely stuffed.

“Alright, I grabbed some food from the kitchen pantry, and I nicked some clothes, I think they’re roughly your size.” Catra grabs the pack from Glimmer and slings it over her shoulder. Glimmer grins and then pulls her close into a hug. Catra goes stiff at first, but reluctantly relaxes, and hugs Glimmer back. She figures the whole personal space issue can wait for another day. “Take care of yourself, okay?” Catra nods, and gives a soft smile.

“I will. And, uh… thanks, Glimmer.” The words sound stiff and awkward out of Catra’s mouth, but no less sincere. With that, she turns around, adjusts the straps of the pack on her shoulders, and walks away from Brightmoon, into the unknown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter will be up on Thursday!


	11. Fading Scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra returns to Brightmoon during the summer solstice dance. After months apart, she and Adora are finally reunited.

The door to Adora’s room opens, and then slams shut behind the two figures that entered. Catra pins Adora against the door, bringing their lips together in a fierce kiss. They kiss each other fervently, movements passionate, if somewhat uncoordinated - the alcohol that was served at the dance leaving them both just the slightest bit tipsy. Adora sighs and arches her body against Catra as she melts into the kiss, all tongue and teeth and ungraceful wanting.

Hands wander aimlessly over warm, flushed skin, seeking no destination other than _more_. More touch, more passion, more of each other. Catra’s tail wraps around Adora’s wrist as her hands drag down Catra’s back, nails digging in to find purchase.

Eventually Catra pulls away, and they stare into one another’s eyes, breathing heavy, eyes full of need. Adora closes her eyes and lets out a joyous, unrestrained laugh, tilting her head back until it rests against the door.

“Gods, I missed you so much.”

* * *

 

Adora lets out a deep sigh and looks in the mirror. _At least this time it isn’t a dress_ , she rationalizes. She feels so much more comfortable than she did the last time she went to a dance, wearing a sharply-fitted white jacket with gold trim, high-waisted black dress pants, and a loose-fitting red undershirt. And an eyepatch. Right. That little detail. A black and gold eyepatch, covering her right eye, but not the parallel scars that cut across her face starting on her cheek, and ending just a tad higher than her eyebrow, right above her nose.

“Adora, it’s time! A whole bunch of guests have already arrived, we need to be out there.” Bow calls out, stepping through the door to Adora’s room.

“Oh, uh, yeah, I think I’m ready.” Adora stammers.

“Hey, you alright?” Bow notices her hesitance. He walks over to her by the mirror as she gives him an obviously fake smile.

“What, yeah, I’m fine! I’m great. Party. Summer solstice. Dancing! I’m fine.” Adora stumbles awkwardly over her words, and Bow just raises an eyebrow at her.

“You don’t… _sound_ fine.”

“Ughhh,” Adora groans and flops down into a chair, planting her head into her hands, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Bow asks gently, sitting down cross-legged on the floor in front of her.

“No. But make me do it anyway.”

“Adora, princess of the rebellion, I hereby demand you tell me what’s going on.” Bow says in a goofy, exaggerated voice. Adora giggles, and puts her hands down, resting them in her lap. Her face falls and goes pensive again before she speaks.

“You know, the scars don’t really bother me, but… when the first few guests were coming in and I was still getting things ready, I could just _feel_ them staring at me. I hate being the center of attention, I don’t want people looking at me and talking about it all night.”

“Well I guess I’m just gonna have to be extra loud and goofy tonight so people will be distracted and look at me instead.” Bow gives a sagely nod and Adora smiles at him.

“I guess… I guess it’s not just that. Thinking about the scars got me thinking about _her_ , and I guess it just got me down.” Adora says. Bow places his hand on top of hers.

“You miss her a lot, don’t you?” Bow asks gently, and she nods.

“Well, it’s the summer solstice dance, and all of this is just reminding me of, y’know, the winter solstice dance, and being with her there. I don’t know, it’s stupid.”

“It’s _not_ stupid,” Bow insists, “and yeah, I get how tonight might be a bit of a sad reminder. Do you want me to stick with you tonight and keep you company?”

“Y-yeah, I think I’d like that, thanks Bow.” Adora smiles.

“You can hang out with me and Perfuma!” Bow exclaims cheerily, standing up and offering his hand to help her to her feet. “And if Perfuma’s there, that probably means Entrapta will be there too. You know how those two are.” Adora gives an undignified snort of laughter.

“I think you mean I know how _Perfuma_ is. Entrapta mostly does her own thing, I’m pretty sure Perfuma is just along for the ride most of the time.” Adora takes Bow’s hand, and the two of them walk out of the room, heading down towards the halls towards the dance. “Does it annoy you? I know you’ve had your eye on Perfuma for a while now.”

Bow blushes and scratches the back of his head with embarrassment. “Aaaaactually I’ve sort of had my eye on… both of them?” Adora gives him a look of surprise. “What?” He exclaims defensively, “They’re both really cool!” Adora just laughs.

“Well good luck. I think the first challenge will be getting Entrapta to realize what’s going on, she’s so off in her own world, I don’t think she’s even noticed Perfuma’s incredibly obvious flirting.”

“Yeah, it’s… a work in progress.” Bow admits. The two of them round the corner into the grand hall to join the throng of guests. It isn’t quite as massive a gathering as the winter solstice or the all-princess ball, but it’s still a lot of people, and Adora takes a deep breath to steel herself for the evening to come. Guests from many different kingdoms mill about, chatting with one another, as Angella sits on her throne at the end of the room, greeting each new guest as they arrive. Adora and Bow join the crowd, looking for familiar faces.

“Bow!” Entrapta’s shrill voice calls out. She pops up next to them, still in her standard, grease-stained overalls. “I’m glad you’re here, tonight is shaping up to be a very fascinating social experiment.”

“Looking delightful as always, princess Entrapta.” Bow says, taking Entrapta’s hand and kissing the back of it. She blushes and stammers something unintelligible in response, before looking over and seeing Adora.

“Oh, and Adora is here too! Hello, former tall one.” She waves at Adora, despite being directly in front of her, and Adora gives an awkward hi in response.

“Hello Bow, Adora, I’m so happy to see you tonight.” Perfuma greets them warmly. Adora scans the crowd, looking to see if Glimmer is around anywhere. It takes a moment, but she spots her standing a little off to the side, near the throne, speaking to each guest as they come in and greet the queen. Adora guesses that Angella probably told her she had to do it, given that she’s the princess of Brightmoon, and they are the hosts. She can see the bored, frustrated look on Glimmer’s face from afar, and winces sympathetically.

She looks around some more and sees Mermista, Sea Hawk, and Frosta gathered around a small table by the side of the room with some food on it. Adora excuses herself from the current conversation to go say hi. They see her as she approaches, and she waves.

“I say Adora, you are looking quite dashing this evening.” Sea Hawk compliments her. She is about to thank him when he continues, “And I must say, the eyepatch works very well for you, you’d look right at home in one of my crews!” Adora stammers awkwardly, searching for a response, when Mermista elbows Sea Hawk in the side.

“Don’t make a big deal out of it! You’re embarrassing my friend.” Adora gives her a grateful look.

“I wasn’t sure if you were going to come, with all the repairs going on in Salineas. Are you two here together?” Adora asks. Mermista’s face immediately flushes, and she looks away from Adora, but still manages to respond.

“Uh, yeah. He’s… he’s my plus one.” She’s mumbling with embarrassment, but the comment makes Sea Hawk smile, and he hooks his arm around hers.

“Well I’m glad things have been improving over there. I know you guys took a lot of damage, but it really seems like Salineas has bounced back…” Adora tapers off as she notices the three of them go wide eyed, staring at something going on behind her. It makes her notice just how quiet the room has gone, the boisterous conversation that filled the air before replaced by hushed whispers. Adora turns to see what they’re all looking at, and her breath catches in her throat.

Catra strides confidently through the center of the room, head held high. She ignores the murmuring of everyone around her, locking eyes with Queen Angella and walking directly towards the throne where she sits. She looks _different_. Her usual headpiece is gone, and her hair is cropped much shorter than before. She’s wearing simple traveler’s clothes - a loose rust-red tunic with brown pants that are ripped in that exact same way that her clothes have always seemed to end up, as she accidentally cuts them with her claws in her sleep or when she’s stressed out. A worn, tan cloak swishes behind her as she steps confidently through the crowd. She looks so beautiful, Adora’s heart feels like it’s about to burst.

The room falls deathly quiet as she approaches the throne.

“Greetings, your majesty,” she speaks with a slow, deliberate cadence, “Sorry for showing up to your big party uninvited, but, uh, I’m hoping that you might welcome me anyway. I’m… not really good at this kind of thing, but here goes.” She pauses, taking a deep, shaky breath to compose herself. “I’ve been fighting pretty much my whole life. That’s the only thing the Horde ever teaches you how to be - a soldier. And I fought, but… I never really knew what I was fighting for, other than staying alive. I did a lot of stupid, horrible things, and I know I can’t undo that, but gods, I’d like to at least try. I’d like to fight _for_ something for once. To try and keep the people I care about safe. So, umm…”

Catra swallows deeply, and drops to one knee, bowing her head in reverence.

“I am Catra, former force captain of the Horde. And I have come to pledge myself to the rebellion.”

For the longest moment, time seems to stand still. Not a sound disturbs the tension in the air. Then Queen Angella stands and walks down the steps that lead to the throne, stopping right in front of Catra. She crouches down, and takes Catra’s chin in her hand, tilting Catra’s face up to meet her eyes. A fond smile crosses her face.

“I’ve heard news about your exploits these past few months.” Her voice is warm and gentle as she speaks. “I heard of the brave warrior who defended the village of Kinsbaine from an entire squadron of Horde soldiers. I heard of the unknown traveler who fought back against Hordak’s new second in command, Scorpia, in the border towns of the Whispering woods, and saved over a dozen lives. You’ve made your mark these past months, and proven yourself time and time again.”

“It takes a great deal of courage to leave behind the life one has always known, and to venture into the unknown. But you have. You will always be welcome in my kingdom.” She pulls herself up to her full height, and declares in a commanding voice, “I accept your allegiance, Catra, warrior of the rebellion!”

* * *

 

Adora’s back hits the bed and in a flash Catra is on top of her, lips against her neck, drawing out soft moans. It makes her head feel so foggy, the warmth of Catra pressed up against her, the feeling of her teeth scraping against her pulse. Catra’s claws are retracted as she runs them along Adora’s side and pulls her up a little, sliding the jacket off of her shoulders and tossing it onto the floor.

“Hey, that’s a nice jacket.” Adora says in between kisses, “It’s gonna get dirty.”

“Do you actually care?”

“No, I just want to annoy you.” Adora giggles, and then cuts off into a choked gasp when Catra bites her neck, hard. Her hands scrabble for purchase on Catra’s body, digging in painfully. Catra slides her tongue over the bite mark, which is almost certainly going to leave a dark bruise.

“I think that’s my new favorite way of shutting you up, princess.” Catra whispers into Adora’s skin, and _gods_ , the breathy note in her voice when she calls her princess sends a burst of arousal through Adora’s whole body. Adora smiles hazily.

“Mm, I’m _your_ princess now, aren’t I?” She murmurs as Catra nips along her collarbone.

“You’ve always been mine.” Catra says, and it makes Adora’s face flush even more. A long, drawn out moan drags out of her lips. Catra chuckles softly. “You really like it when I’m possessive, don’t you?”

“Maybe a little.” Adora admits. Catra’s hands slip under the hem of her shirt, and she shimmies up a bit to help her pull it off. In an instant Catra is upon her again, kissing her, hands brushing over her breasts, leg lodged firmly between her thighs. She wants nothing more than to let this happen, let Catra take her, but she stops herself, pushing Catra back off her a little bit. “Wait.”

“Something wrong?” Catra asks, and Adora shakes her head.

“No, it’s just… even after all this time I’ve still never done anything for you. I want to touch you.” Catra looks to the side, and bites her lip. “Do you not want to?”

“No, I do!” Catra rushes to clarify, “I just, I can’t… rrrrgh.” She lets out a frustrated noise and rubs the heel of her hands over her eyes.

“You know, when you took me those first times, you were really rough, and aggressive. I loved it, but when I tried to do the same thing to you, I could tell you didn’t like it at all. You didn’t seem to get into it until I was a lot slower and… softer. But when I did that… that’s when you freaked out. Is that what’s going on? Does it freak you out?” Adora asks, and Catra sighs.

“I guess? I don’t really know.”

“You kept trying to tell me that you didn’t need anything, and that you were fine just taking care of me. Why didn’t… why _don’t_ you want me to take care of you?” Adora asks, sitting up and taking Catra’s hands in hers. Catra keeps averting her eyes, but Adora just gives her time, stroking her thumb over the back of her hand.

“It’s… it’s hard to let yourself be weak around your enemy, and you were my enemy.” Catra mumbles. Adora cups Catra’s jaw with one hand and tilts her head so that she can look in her eyes.

“I’m not your enemy anymore Catra, I never really was. It’s okay.” Adora smiles.

“I know.” Catra sighs. Adora pulls forward, pressing her body closer to Catra’s. She keeps going until she’s pinning Catra down on the bed, straddling her hips. Her hands come up to cradle Catra’s face, and she plants a kiss on Catra’s lips. The kiss is far softer than the ones they had before, but no less passionate. When Adora pulls back, she whispers softly against Catra’s lips.

“Tonight is for you. Let me take care of you.”

Catra bites her lower lip nervously, and then gives an enthusiastic nod.

* * *

 

When Catra turns to face the crowd, she is met by thunderous applause. The entire grand hall is clapping, their eyes firmly on her and the queen, and it’s so overwhelming it almost makes her nauseous.

“Catraaaaaaaaaa!” A shrill, male voice calls out and Bow sweeps her up into a bone-crushing hug. “I’m so glad you’re back!”

“You and I are gonna need to have a conversation about personal space.” Catra grumbles, wriggling out of his grasp. She looks over, and sees that Glimmer has joined in by Bow’s side. Catra grins at her, and gives a quick nod of acknowledgement.

“Glimmer.”

“Catra.” Glimmer nods back, with a slight smile on her face. She’s pushed aside as Entrapta rushes through, with Perfuma trailing close behind.

“Catra, you’re back!” Entrapta chirps. “Have you met my friends? This is Perfuma, and Bow.” Her hair whips out to either side and wraps around their waists, pulling them in close to her. Perfuma blushes and looks away bashfully.

“Yes, Entrapta, I know who they are.”

“Catra…” Adora’s voice comes from behind them. The others clear out of the way to let her through. She stares at Catra, eyes wide and unbelieving.

“Hey Adora.” Adora chokes back a sob, and bursts out in a teary laugh.

“You idiot, that’s really the best you could come up with right now?” She punches Catra hard in the shoulder, and then pulls her into a tight hug. Catra returns her embrace, crying and laughing along with her.

* * *

 

Adora unravels her slowly.

The air is filled with Catra's sighs and quiet moans, backed by the constant trickle of the waterfall on the other side of Adora's room. Adora keeps her pinned down to the bed, pressing soft kisses along her neck and her jaw, fingers carding through her hair. She brings her lips up to meet Catra's, and Catra melts into the kiss. When Adora pulls back, she stares right into Catra's eyes, fingers pulling forward to brush along her jaw. Adora smiles, her eyes full of fondness and wonder.

“Gods you're so beautiful Catra.” She murmurs. Catra's face goes bright red as she averts her eyes, and Adora doesn't miss the subtle way that her body pushes upward, seeking more contact.

“Shut up.” Catra grumbles, but Adora just giggles and kisses along her neck, slipping her hands underneath the hem of Catra's shirt and brushing along her toned stomach.

“But it's true,” Adora coos, “You look so pretty like this. My pretty kitty.” Adora punctuates her words with a hard bite on Catra's pulse, and Catra whines softly, her hips canting up to grind against Adora. “Oh, do you like it when I call you that?” She teases.

“Shut. Up.” Catra repeats with a growl, but when Adora brings her hands up to squeeze her breasts under her shirt, she gasps out a desperate, frustrated “ _Yes_.”

Adora pulls Catra's shirt off and tosses it aside, bringing her hands to stroke up and down along Catra's body, savoring the soft feeling of Catra's soft fur atop her hard, lean muscle. She brushes her thumbs across Catra's abs, and they twitch under her exploring fingers.

Catra has become a complete puddle under Adora's gentle touch, and Adora just stares at her in awe. Seeing Catra this soft and vulnerable feels so alien, and Adora's heart swells, knowing how much trust it must take for Catra to be okay with this.

“I love seeing you like this kitty. So pretty under me,” she drags two fingers along Catra's pussy over her clothes, and Catra lets out a keening moan, “and so sweet when I get you to sing.” Catra whimpers as Adora teases her fingers beneath the hem of her pants, before bringing them back up to unbuckle her belt.

Adora undoes the button of Catra's pants, and then looks up to catch her eye, asking a silent question. Catra catches her own lip in between her teeth and gives Adora a soft nod. Adora beams, and in a moment Catra's pants and boxers join the rest of the clothes on the floor, along with her boots.

A shower of kisses trails slowly up Catra's leg, Adora lifting it up and kissing all along her ankle, and her calf, the back of her knee, the inside of her thigh. Catra is panting with desire now. Adora takes her sweet time, kissing and nipping between Catra's thighs, circling around where Catra wants her, but not hitting it. Not yet.

“Adora, _please_.” Catra mewls. Adora's eyes go wide, and she flushes with desire. She's never heard that voice from Catra before, that soft, pleading tone, quiet and submissive. The look in Catra's eyes is hazy and unfocused, as if she's lost in some distant, floaty place. Adora places her lips on the small strip of white fur that leads from Catra's belly to her aching center.

“How could I say no, when you ask so nicely like that?” Adora says in between kisses, and then dips below, licking a long, slow path from the bottom of Catra's pussy all the way up to her clit.

Catra falls apart.

She dissolves into a chorus of moans and babbled utterances of Adora's name as Adora brings her tongue to bear against her. Adora's tongue. Adora's lips, sucking on her clit. Adora's fingers, circling and teasing her entrance before pushing inside. Adora. Adora. Adora.

“You make the prettiest noises, kitty, I love hearing your perfect voice while I taste you.” Adora lifts her lips for just a moment to speak, and Catra lets out a feverish whine in response, her hips bucking off the bed involuntarily.

It doesn't take long for her to get there.

Adora lifts up, switching to using just her fingers so she can kiss along Catra's neck. Catra's babbling has intensified, becoming almost frantic, and Adora can tell that she's close.

“Shhh, kitty, you're doing so well, you're almost there aren't you?” Adora whispers into Catra's ear.

“Mmhmm.” Catra whimpers, nodding vigorously.

“It's alright, I've got you. I've got you. You're doing so well, I want you to come for me. Be a good kitty and come for me.” Adora punctuates her words with a rough nip on Catra's earlobe, and it only takes seconds more before Catra does as she’s told, coming with a cry of Adora's name, hips whirling, hands scrabbling for purchase on Adora's back.

Adora slows her fingers, coaxing Catra gently through the aftershock, murmuring sweet words of encouragement into her ear. Once the sensation dies down, Catra cuts off Adora's words by sealing their lips with a kiss.

Catra's arms pull Adora down closer, and Adora scoots off of Catra's lap, cuddling up to her side, and drawing her head in against her chest, brushing her hands through her hair. Catra's chest rumbles with gentle purring.

“Thank you.” Catra murmurs after her breathing calms down to normal levels. Adora plants a kiss on the top of her head.

“Of course.” That stay like that, curled up together, listening to the noise of the waterfall and crickets chirping from the woods. They are silent for a very long time before Catra speaks again, voice so quiet that Adora barely hears it.

“I love you.”

Adora smiles, a sleepy, joyous smile, more content than she can ever remember being.

“I love you too.”

* * *

 

The entire princess alliance has formed a group on the side of the room in the grand hall. Everyone's chatting animatedly, and asking Catra lots of questions about her time away. She looks a little overwhelmed by all the attention, but Adora has her hand in hers, and squeezes it reassuringly when Catra starts to get a little irritated.

She gets along with the rest of the group much better than Adora expected, with the exception of Perfuma, who stays mostly quiet, still a little put off by Catra's abrasiveness. Perfuma focuses mostly on Entrapta, who is even more excitable than usual, prattling almost nonstop now that her friend is back.

Glimmer and Catra poke insults at each other, but it's lighthearted, with none of the bitterness of their previous bickering. Adora stays mostly quiet, still taking everything in, until the music changes. Angella announces the first dance of the evening, and the others pair off, moving more towards the center of the room to find space.

“What do you say?” Catra smirks, offering her hand.

“Let's see if you can keep up.” Adora teases, letting Catra lead her to a more open spot. They join together, hands clasped together on one side, Catra's other hand on Adora's waist, and Adora's other hand on Catra's shoulder.

“I don't have a fancy outfit like you, but I bet I'll still make the other ladies jealous. What do you think Adora?” Catra winks at her, and Adora lets out a goofy snort of laughter.

“You think you're so smooth, don't you?”

“Yeah, I do.” Catra responds instantly, and Adora just pulls her closer as they follow the slow steps of the dance. They dance together in comfortable silence, listening to the music, taking in one another's presence.

Adora looks around at the rest of the room as they continue. Spinnerella and Netossa move together, practiced and comfortable, looking at each other adoringly. Sea Hawk tries to lead Mermista in a much more dramatic, flamboyant dance than the music calls for, until Mermista punches him in the shoulder and makes him tone it down. Bow, Perfuma, and Entrapta awkwardly try to dance as a trio, hampered by Entrapta’s clumsy movements and not being sure how to retrofit the dance for three, but clearly having a good time anyway. Frosta stands by herself off to the side, thoroughly uninterested in the whole affair, but not unhappy.

Glimmer also stands by herself, fidgeting awkwardly, looking a little self-conscious, until Angella comes up and offers her hand. Glimmer looks at her for a moment, a little surprised, before giving a warm smile and joining her. Adora returns her gaze to Catra and gives a happy sigh.

“I missed you, you know?”

“I figured you would.” Catra says, and Adora rolls her eyes.

“Gods, you are _such_ an ass.”

“Yeah, but you love it.” Comes Catra's smug reply, as she brings her face closer to Adora's, and nuzzles the tips of their noses together.

“Keep telling yourself that kitty cat.” Adora retorts, and then giggles at Catra's expression of mock offense. Catra brushes her nose along Adora's cheek, but freezes when it bumps against the edge of her eyepatch. She pulls away and brings her hand up to run her thumb along the scar below it.

"I left a hell of a mark." She says, keeping her tone as neutral as possible.

"Yeah, well, I've been told that the eyepatch look works for me." Adora sheepishly tries to play it off, but Catra just purses her lips and runs her hand along Adora's arm, tracing the scars she left there too.

"I've given you a lot of scars, haven't I?" Catra asks, averting her eyes. Adora butts her forehead against Catra's gently to get her to look back at her.

"Hey, it's okay. The scars, they just... they remind us that we made it through, okay? They mean that we've healed. All that's left behind is a few marks, and who cares about that?"

"Okay..." Catra closes her eyes and presses her forehead closer against Adora's.

They fall back into silence for a little while before Adora speaks again, a little unsure this time. “I've been meaning to ask you. What… what changed your mind? Back when we were in the whispering woods. What made you not want to do it?” Catra tenses up a little bit in Adora's arms, but any nervousness she might be feeling doesn't show in her voice when she replies.

“I've thought about it a lot these past few months. I dunno, it's kinda hard to explain.” She pauses for a moment to consider her response before continuing. “It's like… our whole life Shadow Weaver told us who we were. You were the selfish golden child, the perfect soldier who didn't care about anyone else. And I… I was the fuck-up. The monster.”

“Catra, you're not-” Adora starts to protest, but Catra cuts her off.

“Let me finish, princess,” she frowns, “ That's what she always said we were. But then… you didn't fight back. It was-I don't know, I could just tell how much you cared. You weren't the golden child or the soldier, you were just some girl, doing something really damn stupid because you cared about me too much. And I guess… I guess I realized, Shadow Weaver was _wrong_. You weren't who she said you were. And maybe… maybe that meant I didn't have to be either. I could choose who I wanted to be.”

Adora smiles at her. “Is that why you had to go away? To figure out who you wanted to be?”

“I guess? Look, I really don't know what I'm talking about here Adora.” Catra mumbles, and Adora laughs at her self-consciousness, not unkindly.

“And what's the verdict?”

“What?”

“Did you learn who you want to be?”

“I learned that I don't really know yet.” Catra hums thoughtfully. “That's a problem for future Catra. I'll figure it out as I go.”

“Well I like this version of you.” Adora says softly, pressing her forehead against Catra's as they sway in time with the music.

“I think you're a little biased,” Catra grins, “given that this is the version that _didn't_ kill you.” Adora laughs.

“Maybe, but I'll still stick by what I said.” Adora says fondly.

The song isn't the same kind of song that played at the winter solstice. It's slower, calmer, not a song that calls for fancy spins or dips. When it gets towards the end, Adora lets go of Catra's hand, and wraps her arms around her neck, pulling her in close for a lingering kiss, full of a lifetime of emotions left unexpressed, unheard, finally free to be let out. Catra knows that half the crowd must be watching them, given the attention-grabbing entrance she made, but she doesn't care, because Adora is kissing her, and that's finally something that's _allowed_ , something that no one else is allowed to judge them for. In that moment, Adora's kiss is her whole world.

And it is gentleness.

And it is love.

And for the first time in her whole life, Catra feels like everything is going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I can't believe this is finally done. It has been such a journey getting here. This is the first fanfic I've ever written, and I like to think I've learned a lot from it. All of the support and lovely comments from all of you have meant so much, and have been so so encouraging throughout this whole process. As for what comes next, I'm definitely gonna stay away from longer fic for a while. I might write a one-shot or two if the new season gets me inspired, and I have a 3-4 chapter long Little Witch Academia fic I've been meaning to write. Whatever comes next, I hope you've enjoyed reading this story, because I certainly enjoyed writing it.


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